Debating between these two countries. Which is better to bring children up in?

[Mixedfeelings89]

England or America. I am from England, Husband is American. We are not rich, nor poor therefore we would be living a average lifestyle. My only concern is which country will be better for the children? If we didn't have children I wouldn't really care which country either way. I just want the best for the children. Children are not yet school age, if that makes a difference.

Thanks in advance.

It’s my experience of living in Florida with DC from 2011-2014. When did you live in Florida and was it with DC?

Where are your husband's roots/family? NYC is going to be a pretty different experience for childraisng than Bumf*ck, Tx. I'm British but live in the US and rather disenchanted with both right now, but probably healthcare and stupid gun-worship would tip the scales towards the UK if I had children.

Discovereads

I can speak with 100% certainty that the average American does not live in an gated community they are afraid to leave nor do they feel the need to do so. They are also just fine with the so called terrible public schools that are outside and don’t want their kids in what sounds like a private school/prison. And I know a lot of people in Florida and have spent a lot of time there and have never encountered anything like this or really anything you mention besides the heat People play golf next to lakes all day long and don’t seem to be getting eaten on a regular basis that I am aware of

My DH has a job where the option to spend a few years in the US came up, I spent some time there when I was younger and enjoyed it but would never take the children there as I never want them to do a live shooter drill at school ( or worse).

You or your children could get shot just walking down the street. It'd be a hard no for me.

Also unless it's changed in the last 20 years public transport is non existent outside the big cities, and pretty poor within most of them.

Neither, there are so many better options.
For a family it has to be the UK over America though.

The experience of @Discovereads is accurate, although I never raised children in Florida. The lack of proper seasons really got to me in the end. At least the UK has a pretty fall and proper cold winters

@Pumperthepumper SNP present the largest threat since nazi Germany.

The SNP government have consistently operated with an over 10% budget deficit (overspend). During covid it was most probably 30%.

Scotland will categorically never get accepted in the EU. EU guidance does not allow entry of deficit of over 3%.

Scotland's overspend is far greater than the bankrupt Greek economy ever was.

Since SNP gained power Scotland's GDP has been in constant decline year on year.

Even Edinburgh has the lowest GDP of other EU capital city.

Scotland is categorically in economic meltdown should independence be granted.

Please refer to national statistics. A point Nicola Sturgeon point blank refuses to answer.

I will give SNP credit for masterful manipulation of the media.

5million per month awarded to STV/ITV for covid advertising permitted considerable control. In addition, a perfect storm is a failing written media with the only remaining buyers of newspapers generally not working for a living and love to continually go over the Tories "partygate".

Scotland requires education in economics.

Apologies for going completely off thread. It just makes my blood run cold to see people praising Nicola Sturgeon.

Overall I think healthcare, life balance, and relative social cohesion make the UK a better bet for the average person BUT you have to weigh that against a likely higher standard of living in the US.

If you don’t know the US presumably you live UK, so your husband must know what he thinks about life here?

I worked for a US company, it was incomprehensible to them that I didn't leap at the chance to relocate to the US.
Holiday, Maternity, Healthcare. Since those days racism and school shootings. There is plenty that is shit in the UK. But it's still better.

I’m not praising her. I’m saying that she’s offering an escape from Tory rule.

SNP present the largest threat since nazi Germany. This is offensive, and ridiculous.

My SIL and family live in the US, near Florida.
pros:
it’s cheap where they are and they have a high std of living and good medical insurance.
they have a pool
food and drink is cheap

Cons:
it’s racist - overtly so to visitors like us but as they’re white it doesn’t real affect them/ they don’t care
its conservative, lots of banging on about god, god bless ‘Merica etc and they go to church to fit in despite being non believers.
its a heavy gun state, they live in a gated community type place with security guards but still don’t feel safe
its hot a hell. They spend a lot of time indoors in a/c controlled environments
their kids are ignorant about the wider world and spoiled, they have everything but don’t seem happy with anything.
the kids do shooter drills etc as with most USA schools
drugs- massive problem, they’re surrounded by poverty, drug issues and homeless people who have no access to proper healthcare or help
you have to drive everywhere - lack of pavements, the heat, safety worries mean they drive for everything
despite their very expensive insurance their ‘deductibles’ on their health care stuff is eye watering. They have a kid with a mild chronic condition so spend $400-500 a month on him, more when he has an episode that means an ambulance
Did I mention the heat and lack of seasons?? The heat brings giant, biting bugs too… not to mention the snakes etc
other than that it’s great… I don’t think their kids have a good quality of life. They’re privileged, cocooned and spoiled, they have everything and appreciate very little.

For me it would depend on the state.
I've never lived in England. (I'm in Wales) Only visited. I'm not too keen always seems so busy and crowded (but that could be where I've been too). I have lived 30 years in the US, in a lovely rural area where all my kids were born and all but one raised. It felt safe, the schools were good, and my friends were good.

I suppose if you are rich, white and completely healthy, the US could be a good place to live. Assuming you're also wealthy enough to be able to leave the country at a moment's notice if you/your daughter doesn't want to continue a pregnancy and they don't introduce a law where anybody who is confirmed pregnant automatically has their passport flagged. and you're lucky/sheltered enough that the prospect of somebody pulling a gun out for the smallest slight in your vicinity doesn't happen.

But for mere mortals, it's better/nicer/safer here.

I would pick anywhere in the U.K. over almost anywhere in Florida (maybe except Miami - maybe). If those are your choices, it’s an easy one.

I find this quite racist to be honest, do you really think that every person who isn’t white is poor, has a terrible quality of life and lives in fear of being murdered every time they leave their house? California had a non-white majority and most are mere mortals living normal lives and would certainly see themselves as disenfranchised and living some terrible life. In many ways current economic conditions are having less impact on the average US family than the average UK family.

England, and I’ve fucking had enough of this country. Aside from all the other shit mentioned about the US, lack of affordable healthcare would put me off. Them poverty is so much more intense than a throng we see on our streets. Their border force are vile and brutal. Despite its fabulous wealth, it’s worse than some developing countries in many ways. Don’t get me started on the rich can buy their kids into Ivy League unis. I love the US for travel, but much like a friend’s baby, you hand it back when you’ve had enough.

Well, you're not reading it correctly, then, to be honest.

Amazed it’s even a question really. America is like Disneyland and all good things come to end. Like hell would I ever want to live there despite the politics of England.

Lots of people citing America's low taxes and better quality of life but does everyone really want to live in a country with such high poverty levels? Am happy to pay our taxes if it means everyone has a safety net and access to health care. Not great in the UK right now with the cost of living crisis, food banks etc but at least it's a fairer society than America.

Wow so many responses. Thank you.
I think the main thing that makes me feel uncomfortable about living there is the everyday casual racism and racist language I have heard when visiting (it seemed to be the norm for 98% of people I met). It was like racism was the default. I'm not sure if this is representative of all Florida but it was certainly the part my husband is from. We are white but it makes me very uneasy about my children growing up/being around that mindset and just the thought of that rubbing off on them makes me sad.

I have never been around such open racism to that extreme, I was equally shocked and disgusted almost to the point that I felt sorry for the hate/negativity/ignorance they held.

‘You or your children could get shot just walking down the street. ‘
or in school. Or in a car jacking. Unfortunately that is true.

‘I think the main thing that makes me feel uncomfortable about living there is the everyday casual racism and racist language I have heard when visiting ‘

in The south a Midwest it’s particularly bad, but it is all over. The racism is appalling.

if you are white, wealthy and have a good job you can buy a certain amount of safety and privilege and healthcare ( like my SIL has) but then you have to live with seeing the inequality everyday and find a way to tell yourself that you have what you have because you’ve ‘earned’ it in some way, you deserving it you work hard. That’s what my SIL and BIL tell themselves.

The US is a business. It has consumers, not citizens.

And as for the working conditions… I work with US colleagues, they have half the holiday we do, and they don’t even take all of it. They check emails when on vacation. Their paranoid about their jobs ( which also provide the healthcare for their families) and work crazy hours sometimes. They should worry as they can be fired and marched out the door with zero notice.
They think they work for a ‘good’ company because we pay for their therapy… the therapy they need for their super stressful lives. Madness.