Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Denied boarding due to excess alcohol. What happens next when abroad?

396 replies

Cheeseandlobster · 22/06/2022 20:47

I will try to keep the details vague and I know this isn't an aibu but I am posting for traffic

I flew home from holiday recently. At check in there was a woman in a wheelchair who looked unwell travelling with her dp and 2 young children. She was at our gate lying on the floor and her partner said she was drunk and had been the whole week they were away. He said he had had enough. The gate staff asked cabin crew who denied the woman boarding. At this stage her dp was openly crying and people were being really kind helping him to source spare nappies for his youngest and giving water etc. One woman in particular was being incredibly kind and helpful.

However the situation has been playing on my mind. She told cabin crew he was violent to her. The helpful lady said she had witnessed the woman physically going for her dp. But she did have a bruise on her face which he said was caused by falling over drunk. She was also verbally aggressive to staff.

So her dp and children boarded and she was left behind. Her dp said she had money but I don't know how much. I am certain insurance won't pay out for a hotel etc but she was obviously very vulnerable and it has been playing on my mind. I don't know whether the airline would have had a duty of care but the last I saw of her was her slumped sideways in the wheelchair at the gate. Violent or not she must have been very frightened and I don't know whether the airline would have looked after her. Does anyone know whether they would have ensured she was safe?

OP posts:
Strangerthings4NW · 22/06/2022 20:50

She would be asked to sober up and come back and book the next flight out. They have no response abilities for an adult who’s pissed.

Ownedbymycats · 22/06/2022 20:56

It's unfortunate but she can't be allowed to jeopardize everyone's safety whilst in the air

TabithaTittlemouse · 22/06/2022 21:01

They would probably have put her somewhere out of the way to sober up but I highly doubt they would look after her. They may call the police if she is causing chaos/being threatening/violent or putting herself at risk but again she would be put somewhere to sober up.

Hallyup89 · 22/06/2022 21:02

And if it had been the guy that was drunk and aggressive whilst the woman got on the plane with the children, you'd be just as concerned, right?

Thought not.

You reap what you sow, I'm afraid.

HintofVintagePink · 22/06/2022 21:02

Would you have felt differently if it were a woman leaving a man behind in that situation?

The airline has no duty of care to someone who is too drunk to board the flight safely.

TempName01 · 22/06/2022 21:04

It seems a rather bizarre situation, the fact that the DP needed help with nappies and water stuck out for me for some reason, why would he not have those?

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 22/06/2022 21:05

It sounds as through the dad did the right thing in prioritising getting the children home.

WonderingWanda · 22/06/2022 21:06

My guess is they might have sought medical assistance, she would sober up and rearrange a flight home. I guessnif she didn't have enough money she would be contacting the British Consulate. How dreadful for her children to witness their mother in that state and to have to leave her behind. Also worrying to think what sort of dysfunctional relationship they are growing up witnessing.

failing40s · 22/06/2022 21:07

I still think about the insanely drunk man who was allowed to board our morning flight back to the UK with his partner and two young kids. He wasn't making a big scene but he was completely hammered. His wife was filming him asking him why he'd done it. I felt awful for her. I was very surprised they let him fly.

Sorry - not much help. It's horrible when things like that stay with you.

EverydayImPuzzling · 22/06/2022 21:07

How awful for the children and their father. Has brought flashbacks for me from my own childhood to be honest, so from my experience whilst yes I think you can spare a thought for the alcoholic woman, the children are the priority. When that happened to me I was travelling with my Mum on my own and it’s honestly one of the worst memories I have. So no, I don’t really care what happened to their Mum.

MichelleScarn · 22/06/2022 21:09

TempName01 · 22/06/2022 21:04

It seems a rather bizarre situation, the fact that the DP needed help with nappies and water stuck out for me for some reason, why would he not have those?

That's your take from this? Find anyway to blame someone if they're male? Would you ask that to a female who was with a drunk, violent male. 'Oh no, shouldn't help you, why don't you have stuff for your kids? Tut tut you bad person' ?

PresidentByeThen · 22/06/2022 21:09

Our old next door neighbour was a lovely guy with not a nasty or violent bone in his body, but when he wasn't working he would drink to excess. This happened to him on more than one occasion! Just turning up to board absolutely shitfaced.

I know the last time it happened that we knew of, he was taken to a side room and allowed to sober up, but then had to sort out his flight home, accommodation etc. Luckily for him, he was also minted so the extra expense was fine, but his poor husband (who was quiet as a mouse) was mortified. I did used to wonder why on earth he continued to go away with him (back to the minted bit I guess…!)

RanchoPancho · 22/06/2022 21:10

My DSis did this sort of thing and it sounds very similar; she'd basically broken her body with alcohol and needed a wheelchair, but between that and various run ins with the authorities nothing was ever a good enough reason to stop drinking.

Once BIL left her at the home airport after a holiday because he'd had enough - my family paid for a hotel, she got into trouble with the police for being drunk at the hotel bar, then BIL came and picked her up the next day. She died a few months later from alcoholism.

I'd imagine she'd probably come to the attention of the authorities pretty quickly, and/or there'd be someone to sort out another flight home when she's sobered up. I really hope this will be rock bottom for her and enough to turn things around.

TempName01 · 22/06/2022 21:10

Yes I think it would be different if it were a man as the mother is usually primary parent and I think it would be very rare to be in that situation whereas I can imagine a lot of men (particularly those moaned about on MN) getting drunk all holiday while the wife does the childcare. Also being a woman she is more vulnerable in that state. Maybe I watch too much Netflix but I feel there is more to the story and I can see why it stuck with you.

Coffeaddict · 22/06/2022 21:12

I'm with others the airline has no duty of care for drunk passengers. If your to intoxicated to get on your flight and she was being aggressive they have the right to refuse her.
I have been on a flight with a family with 3 preschool age kids and they were so hammered they were Competly incapable of looking after them.
At least in this case 1 of the parents was capable of looking after the kids.

Discovereads · 22/06/2022 21:13

It’s not “frightening” to be refused boarding (for any reason). Nor are you “vulnerable” because of it. You simply stay in the airport until another flight or go to a hotel and come back to the airport the next day. It’s not at all scary or dangerous.

TempName01 · 22/06/2022 21:15

No I mean it made me think the man is not used to dealing with the children’s needs but if she had been drunk the whole holiday who was making sure the kids had nappies and drinks, it’s just a bit weird.

I’m not saying she should be let on the flight either just that hopefully she wasn’t left alone in a vulnerable state.

WTF475878237NC · 22/06/2022 21:17

Well you only had her husband's word she had been drunk all week. A lot of assumptions about who is the one in the wrong and why. I do hope she was OK. Statistics would support he was more likely to be the perp than the victim of domestic abuse. If it was as it seemed though then I think the man did the right thing in taking the children home assuming they couldn't afford to stay together. No matter how drunk I'd got I'd expect my husband not to leave me to be honest.

WTF475878237NC · 22/06/2022 21:19

Of course a woman in a wheelchair slumped over drunk is vulnerable. In some countries that would be illegal and she'd be arrested. I'd say that's pretty scary.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 22/06/2022 21:21

However the situation has been playing on my mind. She told cabin crew he was violent to her. The helpful lady said she had witnessed the woman physically going for her dp. But she did have a bruise on her face which he said was caused by falling over drunk. She was also verbally aggressive to staff.

So there’s a witness to her trying to attack her partner, YOU witnessed her being abusive - but she’s still the one you’re worried about?

Original poster
Cheeseandlobster · 22/06/2022 21:22

She absolutely should have been refused boarding. She could have been a huge risk. But I disagree that she wasn't vulnerable. Self inflicted or not she was barely conscious most of the time. The youngest was trying to hit her dad in the face over and over again. I don't know whether this was normal toddler behaviour or replicating what they had seen at home. The oldest just looked resigned and withdrawn. The whole thing just didn't sit right and I feel worried for whoever is the victim in this. Definitely the children for a start.

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 22/06/2022 21:25

TempName01 · 22/06/2022 21:04

It seems a rather bizarre situation, the fact that the DP needed help with nappies and water stuck out for me for some reason, why would he not have those?

That stuck out to me too. He's obviously not used to looking after his DC. If the role was reversed noone would be rallying round. A woman would be expected to get on with it.

I understand your concern but I would imagine an airport is quite a safe place to be.

Original poster
Cheeseandlobster · 22/06/2022 21:26

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 22/06/2022 21:21

However the situation has been playing on my mind. She told cabin crew he was violent to her. The helpful lady said she had witnessed the woman physically going for her dp. But she did have a bruise on her face which he said was caused by falling over drunk. She was also verbally aggressive to staff.

So there’s a witness to her trying to attack her partner, YOU witnessed her being abusive - but she’s still the one you’re worried about?

No I didn't. If you read my post you will see another woman said she saw a physical altercation not me. She was slurring and telling cabin crew to leave her alone in an aggressive way though

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheeseandlobster · 22/06/2022 21:27

WTF475878237NC · 22/06/2022 21:17

Well you only had her husband's word she had been drunk all week. A lot of assumptions about who is the one in the wrong and why. I do hope she was OK. Statistics would support he was more likely to be the perp than the victim of domestic abuse. If it was as it seemed though then I think the man did the right thing in taking the children home assuming they couldn't afford to stay together. No matter how drunk I'd got I'd expect my husband not to leave me to be honest.

This summarises what I have been thinking

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 22/06/2022 21:30

A few years ago I went on a group holiday where one of the party was denied boarding due to being too drunk.

He was told that if he sat quietly by the gate until the next flight on our route took off 3 hours later they'd let him on that one for a fee of £50. I didn't know the man apart from he was on the same holiday as me, so I don't know what happened to him after that.

If the lady had money, she would have been able to book into an airport hotel if the next flight was more than a few hours later or there would have been medical assistance available at the airport if she'd asked for it or staff thought she needed it.

Maybe he just wanted to get his DC home. If he'd have been the drunk one, no-one would have criticised the mother for leaving him there and taking the DC home. Plus the story about the bruise due to falling over drunk could have been true. No-one knows the truth from a short snapshot like that. But hopefully the incident will prompt both of them to take whatever action they need, help with cutting down on alcohol, counselling or separation, etc.