Denied boarding due to excess alcohol. What happens next when abroad?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I will try to keep the details vague and I know this isn't an aibu but I am posting for traffic

I flew home from holiday recently. At check in there was a woman in a wheelchair who looked unwell travelling with her dp and 2 young children. She was at our gate lying on the floor and her partner said she was drunk and had been the whole week they were away. He said he had had enough. The gate staff asked cabin crew who denied the woman boarding. At this stage her dp was openly crying and people were being really kind helping him to source spare nappies for his youngest and giving water etc. One woman in particular was being incredibly kind and helpful.

However the situation has been playing on my mind. She told cabin crew he was violent to her. The helpful lady said she had witnessed the woman physically going for her dp. But she did have a bruise on her face which he said was caused by falling over drunk. She was also verbally aggressive to staff.

So her dp and children boarded and she was left behind. Her dp said she had money but I don't know how much. I am certain insurance won't pay out for a hotel etc but she was obviously very vulnerable and it has been playing on my mind. I don't know whether the airline would have had a duty of care but the last I saw of her was her slumped sideways in the wheelchair at the gate. Violent or not she must have been very frightened and I don't know whether the airline would have looked after her. Does anyone know whether they would have ensured she was safe?

I really feel for the women. Alcoholism is an illness not a moral choice. Hopefully this can be her rock bottom

Oh this sounds like a very sad situation. It would have really affected me too if I’d have seen this go down. No matter who the “guilty” party was it’s still incredibly sad for all involved. I understand why you’d wonder what became of her, I imagine if she stayed in the airport she’d sober up eventually and figure out a way to come home. If she has money that shouldn’t be a problem, if she doesn’t or makes trouble for herself I guess she’s at the mercy of the authorities. You just feel so bad for the kids in all of this, imagine not going home with your mum after a holiday :(

It happened to me as a child, me and younger sibling travelling with our father. He was refused boarding and they just sent him off with us. I can remember crying and trying to look after my 6 year old sibling. Dad got into a fight back in the city with a motorist and I had to try and drag him away. Eventually a hotel let us book rooms and we went home the next day. Joy of joys just to add to it I was 11 and got my second period. I had no clothes, our bags were on the flight and I was too embarrassed to tell him so just used lots of toilet paper and got money off him to go and buy socks and pants for me and sibling.

Nobody looked after two scared kids let alone a drunk adult.

No matter how drunk I'd got I'd expect my husband not to leave me to be honest. even if you were being violent and aggressive?

There's another thread going were a poster has said her dp told her to 'fuck off when kids were present. Pretty much every poster has told her it should be over and leave him. But here, with the roles reversed, there's still all the 'poor her' posts?

I guess if she didn't have enough money she would be contacting the British Consulate

The British Consulate won't provide financial help.

Exactly. No one would bring this up if it was the other way around.

I did read the post. You said, and repeated it in your follow-up post, that you saw her being aggressive to airline staff. What is that if not abusive?

I KNOW another woman saw the physical altercation. Why else would I have mentioned a witness?

She’s not ‘vulnerable’ she’s an adult who has abandoned her responsibilities and chosen to get so pissed off her tits that she can’t fly home with her kids. Pretty grim.

That’s on her. You wouldn’t be saying this about a man. I imagine they moved her to sober up somewhere and she had to pay for a flight home. Hopefully she learned a lesson.

That's awful. I'm so sorry.

Good call out!! Off course when it's a woman who is pissed and aggressive to others, she must be innocent. Her poor kids having their mother behave like that!

I really have zero sympathy for an abusive drunk refused boarding an airport. I’m actually a bit salty that they’re taking up a wheelchair which should be for a genuinely disabled person. They will sober up and find their way home. Drunks always do. And the husband did the right thing by putting his DC first and getting them home.

Hmmm. Remember two sides and all that.

Vulnerable abused lady, father needs a public display to get kids, drugs or spikes her drink, she lashes out...

Not saying that's correct. But none of us know.

He left with children, lots of sympathy, as others have said none of the correct stuff.

She will hopefully get a flight and who knows.

@ancientgran I’m so sorry that you went through that. My parent was the same.

Not your circus, not your monkeys. Just forget the shit show. You can't do anything now anyway.

I am so sorry this hapenned to you. I can't even imagine how scary that would have been.

Do you apply that to everything then?

Statistics would support he was more likely to be the perp than the victim of domestic abuse.
But the thing is, whilst the statistics are clearly right, that it's usually women that are the victims. Women can be the "perps" too, it's just not as widespread. I know this first hand as we have a lovely family friend who's wife is a violent alcoholic. He has tried to help and support her for at least 30 years that I have known them. He is most definitely a DV victim.

No matter how drunk I'd got I'd expect my husband not to leave me to be honest.
I have to disagree with this, if I was so drunk I was refused boarding, I would hope my husband would make the difficult decision and take my children home to protect them from seeing me like that and witnessing my aggressive behaviour.

@MichelleScarn ?

Not sure what you mean.

I apply the I wasn't there and don't know what happened yes.

But I have seen many, many cases where a vulnerable parent has been pushed to the brink in a public place leaving the, in the wrong, but at the lowest.

Everyone has a break point.

You are kind to be concerned OP.
When I was 19 an older man spiked my drink and I was assaulted, then driven to the airport.
I was treated like I was just drunk, and not let on my flight, but I was actually confused and terrified. I tried to ask for help but people just ignored me even when I tried to explain.
These things are definitely not always as they seem. I hope everything turned out ok.

This is exactly what I wondered. I only saw a snapshot but something was just off. I don't know what.I felt for the dp too - he was visibly upset. I just think, at least for the oldest child, this will live with them possibly forever and that is awful for them.

@sheepandcaravan I mean, if someone came On posting that their partner had come home drunk, was verbally and physically aggressive and wanted advice to leave them would you be saying, 'hold on, two sides to every story'?

That stuck out to me too. He's obviously not used to looking after his DC

Or he’d accidentally left them behind because he was trying to get a drunk partner to the airport on time, or had used more than they’d thought, or had relied on his partner to get some more but she was too pissed, or they’d accidentally not brought enough with them, or this isn’t the first flight they’ve been bumped off so they ran out…or any one of a number of reasons.

As for the idea that “he’s more likely to be the perp”, I’m a feminist to my core but the idea that the man is always to blame by sole means of owning a pair of balls is, well, bollocks.

From the title I thought you had bought loads of duty free and were over the bag weight limit 😂

Why are you feeling sorry for a woman who was pissed, verbally aggressive to strangers, and reduced her DP to tears?

Airlines have no responsibility to sort out this kind of mess. You choose to get pissed on holiday to the stage of incapacity, you sort it out. I hope her DP has a good divorce lawyer.

Alcoholism is a scourge.