Denied boarding due to excess alcohol. What happens next when abroad?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I will try to keep the details vague and I know this isn't an aibu but I am posting for traffic

I flew home from holiday recently. At check in there was a woman in a wheelchair who looked unwell travelling with her dp and 2 young children. She was at our gate lying on the floor and her partner said she was drunk and had been the whole week they were away. He said he had had enough. The gate staff asked cabin crew who denied the woman boarding. At this stage her dp was openly crying and people were being really kind helping him to source spare nappies for his youngest and giving water etc. One woman in particular was being incredibly kind and helpful.

However the situation has been playing on my mind. She told cabin crew he was violent to her. The helpful lady said she had witnessed the woman physically going for her dp. But she did have a bruise on her face which he said was caused by falling over drunk. She was also verbally aggressive to staff.

So her dp and children boarded and she was left behind. Her dp said she had money but I don't know how much. I am certain insurance won't pay out for a hotel etc but she was obviously very vulnerable and it has been playing on my mind. I don't know whether the airline would have had a duty of care but the last I saw of her was her slumped sideways in the wheelchair at the gate. Violent or not she must have been very frightened and I don't know whether the airline would have looked after her. Does anyone know whether they would have ensured she was safe?

It's just so hard to know.

On one hand she's in a wheel chair, bruised, claims he is violent, under the influence but nobody sure why or how. Bruised face.

He is crying, toddler is hitting him? Other child quiet and withdrawn, has no drinks etc.

On the other hand she is aggressive, seen by others, he is allowed to go, police not called there, people help him. He is upset.

I just don't know.

@MichelleScarn no, but it's not either of them posting, it's an eye witness with children reluctant to go with him, which worries me

I don’t see why the airline should have any responsibility whatsoever for her; they are not there to minister to the needs of alcoholics. If she’s unfit to fly, it’s her problem (and a self-inflicted one). I agree she is clearly extremely vulnerable, though. The person with responsibility for her left her at the gate.

I mean you’re having to stretch pretty far to achieve your ‘GOTCHA YOU SEXISTS’……

I wouldn’t leave my husband on his own in that state in a foreign country. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t leave the marriage. I’d expect my husband to do the same - not leave me in this hugely vulnerable state, but review the marriage on returning home (safely, as a family).

Of course neither of us would need help sourcing nappies on a planned holiday with young children.

Really surprised by how many people think leaving a spouse behind in this state overseas is ok.

The main thing is that those kids got out of there and are hopefully home and safe. If she is a victim, the kids being stuck at the airport with her and her husband would've been awful. If she isn't, the same.

If she is a victim, hopefully once she comes out of it the authorities will listen and she'll get help and support. Over there and here as well.

If she isn't, maybe next time she'll think twice before getting so pissed in front of her children and the husband needs to reassess the marriage.

Maybe the reason she was in the wheelchair was because she was so pished? Seen it on holiday before - adults perfectly capable of walking ending up in wheelchairs due to their drunken state.

That must have been utterly terrifying. I am very sorry you had to go through that.

I hope this isn't drip feeding but the flight would have needed a 10am or so pick up from their hotel. I wondered how she could have got into that state so quickly. Even all inclusives don't generally serve alcohol so early

@TempName01 I’m with you on this. That stood out for me too. A man who’s been solo parenting all week due to wife being drunk suddenly needs others to rally round for the dc’s basic needs. Just seems very bizarre. Hopefully they will move on from this and both be happier.

Nowhere does it say the children were reluctant to go with him?

Don't think that's a stretch or a 'gotcha'? Just plain old misandry.

Really surprised by how many people think leaving a spouse behind in this state overseas is ok.

Sometimes it can be necessary, due to work commitments, kids have school, financial commitments (4 tickets is a lot more expensive than one,plus hotels and whatever else).

If a grown ass adult that is fairly functional chose to get that pissed , you bet I'd leave them behind and go ahead with whatever is already sorted,planned and paid for.

Re her husband staying with her, I think if the husband/family had stayed they’d have had to pay for new flights as they were allowed to fly, not denied boarding… Whether she was made to pay for new flights is up to the airline. People are saying they’d expect their partners to stay with them - I’d expect my husband not to get so drunk that he was denied boarding!

My thought process exactly. We will never know. But it worried me and will do for a while I think

@MichelleScarn second OP post, youngest hitting him in the face, oldest withdrawn and resigned.

I don't know. I suppose I'm trying to think both sides and how I would be if I was genuinely the victim. I've never hurt a soul but if span did try and take my children after spiking my drink then yes, I suppose I might be violent.

As you say and I agree, it could be as simple as it looks and she was horrifically drunk and he had enough.

I get what you mean OP. Sometimes we witness things that just seem off/not what it appears on the surface (and probably don’t really compute that until later on).

It the situation you describe, the things that would make me think again would be:

1. the lack of provisions for the children


2. the idea that the lady has been pissed all week, but the husband took the effort to get her to the airport, to get a wheelchair to ferry her to the boarding gate and only then decide to ditch her


3. one of the children hitting dad (this one more tenuous).

You saw a sad and disturbing snapshot. Who knows what the truth of the matter is but, yeah, I think it’s normal to wonder a bit over what you saw.

DH, not span...strange autocorrect

There is nothing in the OP that says the DC were reluctant to go with him so wht say it.

Its a crimimal offence to be drunk on an aircraft, surely thats common knowledge!

The airline did the right thing, they will assist her when she sobers up.

@KnitOnePearlOneDropOne OP second post, youngest hitting him in face, eldest withdrawn and resigned

Op was she in the wheel chair as she was so drunk or in the wheel chair as she was disabled and it wasn’t connected to the being drunk? Also why was she laying on the floor? Did she fall or did she stand up and then lay down?

Good point @sheepandcaravan I suppose we should be lucky if you think about it that this situation is so alien to us.

Thank you. I guess I am just trying to make sense of what I saw, but I don't think I ever will

@MichelleScarn absolutely. Sad either way

She is an adult who made a choice to turn up to her flight drunk. Wheelchair or not she has made a choice and must live with the consequences. She was probably picked up by the police and taken to sober up like any other drunkard.

I do know I feel very sorry for anyone who has to live with an alcoholic. It may be “not their fault” if they are addicted to alcohol, but that doesn’t stop the addiction ruining the lives of everyone around them. So, unless her aggressive, obnoxious behaviour was down to something like a head injury and not actually self-inflicted intoxication, it seems she is abusive when drunk.