Denied boarding due to excess alcohol. What happens next when abroad?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I will try to keep the details vague and I know this isn't an aibu but I am posting for traffic

I flew home from holiday recently. At check in there was a woman in a wheelchair who looked unwell travelling with her dp and 2 young children. She was at our gate lying on the floor and her partner said she was drunk and had been the whole week they were away. He said he had had enough. The gate staff asked cabin crew who denied the woman boarding. At this stage her dp was openly crying and people were being really kind helping him to source spare nappies for his youngest and giving water etc. One woman in particular was being incredibly kind and helpful.

However the situation has been playing on my mind. She told cabin crew he was violent to her. The helpful lady said she had witnessed the woman physically going for her dp. But she did have a bruise on her face which he said was caused by falling over drunk. She was also verbally aggressive to staff.

So her dp and children boarded and she was left behind. Her dp said she had money but I don't know how much. I am certain insurance won't pay out for a hotel etc but she was obviously very vulnerable and it has been playing on my mind. I don't know whether the airline would have had a duty of care but the last I saw of her was her slumped sideways in the wheelchair at the gate. Violent or not she must have been very frightened and I don't know whether the airline would have looked after her. Does anyone know whether they would have ensured she was safe?

Were the family on your flight op? I think you should pass the details to social services if they were so that someone can check the family are ok.

Why if he was sober didn’t he have water and nappies?
adults take responsibility.

It's possible they took more than one flight to get to the airport or the child using the nappies had some kind of poonami.

Or he was so distracted by the drunk mother that he couldn't pack properly.

You’re very naive @Cheeseandlobster. People who want to be drunk by 10am will find a way to be drunk by 10am.

Except an incapacitated lone woman is at far greater risk than a man.
Why do some women find this difficult to grasp or acknowledge?

Thank goodness the children got to go home. The adults need to sort their shit out.

I did know an extremely abusive and aggressive lady in a wheel chair once, and this reminds me of that. She used to throw herself out of her chair too to lure unsuspecting passers by in so she could abuse or attack them too and she did end up with all kinds of injuries from these events. So it does happen and women can be abusive and violent - even wheelchair bound ones.

But there’s something really off here IMO. No one becomes an abusive alcoholic overnight. If she really is this bad then he would be well versed at caring for the DCs basic needs. Sourcing nappies and water is bizarre.

Unless of course she was a recovered alcoholic who relapsed right at the end of the holiday, he’s not the primary carer and he had been too busy dealing with her to source nappies or a bottle of water - but that doesn’t really add up with her ‘being like this all week’.

This is all a lot of speculation - who knows really but the whole thing has a weird vibe.

The double standards here are ridiculous. Sure we don't know the full story. But most aggressive drunken women are going to be drunk because they drank themselves into that state not because an evil man was forcing them to drink.

Also, the man might have been finding it difficult to care for the children because he's having to deal with an aggressive drunk. It's hard enough to get everything together for your children let alone when dealing with an aggressive partner.

You'd be surprised.

I attended a wedding with an abusive ex. I was taking it easy on the booze, drinking water, because it was still early. I told him this. He kept insisting I had a drink. I refused 2, 3, 4 times, then accepted a glass of wine. And of course once I'd had that, I was more agreeable about having another. He literally plied me with wine, acting all lovey dovey with me, telling to relax and let my hair down. Literally topping up my glass every time I turned to talk to someone. And then when I of course got drunk, he grabbed my arm (hard enough to bruise) and manhandled me out of the room and hissed at me what an embarrassment I was. Brought me to the hotel room and told me to stay there, so I missed the entire reception.

It was all planned by him. He wanted to humiliate me in public. He wanted to act like the hero who'd had to 'look after' me, and make me feel awful and guilty for ruining our night. It was all specifically planned to make sure he had leverage over me and I'd have to grovel for weeks. And to everyone else, it looked like I'd just had a few too many and he was being the doting partner and looking out for me.

There's something about him saying "she's been drunk all week" and telling the staff not to let her board, yet bringing her to the airport/gate, that reminds me of this.

A woman can never be wrong on mumsnet, if there's a man in the picture. It's as simple at that.

Every excuse in the book will be wheeled out to make it not her fault, and the combined imaginations of the vast majority of posters put to the task of dreaming up ridiculous scenarios to make it all his fault.

The woman was clearly so drunk she even fell out of the wheelchair that had been pressed into service when she was incapable of walking. She'd been seen assaulting him, he was witnessed crying. But he couldn't find the nappies and water in the chaos, so he's clearly the abuser.

@ancientgran God. That's awful. I'm so sorry.

It's so tough to know what the truth is.
On the one hand the woman is intoxicated, was seen being physically abusive by an independent female witness and being verbally abusive by the op.

On the other hand the man is a man so hypothetical spiking is just as likely

I would. Seeing anyone slumped over is a cause for concern.
I'm with the op on this one.

That's so awful too. You muse have felt terrified and helpless.

"There's something about him saying "she's been drunk all week" and telling the staff not to let her board, yet bringing her to the airport/gate, that reminds me of this."

I don't think the OP said he told the staff not to let her board. Just that she'd been drunk all week and he was sick of it.

"She was at our gate lying on the floor and her partner said she was drunk and had been the whole week they were away. He said he had had enough. The gate staff asked cabin crew who denied the woman boarding. "

So what do you think his intention was when he wheeled his partner to the gate and told the staff she'd been drunk all week?

Why was he so keen to abandon a vulnerable drunk woman (and yes, drunk women are much more vulnerable than drunk men) at an airport? Why didn't he leave her at the resort or hotel?

Probably couldn't leave her alone to go buy more nappies etc.

I think the most chilling thing for me was the toddler slapping her dad's face over and over again. She started doing this when he cried and then back in the UK they were a few in front in the queue for passport control and she was doing it then. Its been years since my ds was small but I don't remember he or his peers doing this to that extent. I wonder what those poor children see at home.

He didn't ask staff not to let her board. But he was telling everyone she was drunk. I wonder why, for selfish reasons, he didn't just say she was unwell.

Perhaps he was sick of her antics.

Not many people on here seem to tell a woman to lie to cover up their husband’s bad behaviour.

She sounds like a terrible parent. Those poor kids. It really isn't the mother I'd worry about, she has let her children down badly. They need all the help and support they can get.

Perhaps because he was thoroughly sick of her behaviour and having to be responsible for her? Sounds like he already had his hands full with the toddler, without having to cope with her too.

Well the op comes in at a point when the partner has now fallen out of her wheelchair and is on the ground intoxicated and making a scene.

So if I had to guess, because you've asked, I'd say his intention was to just try and get through it and get home, and now having been physically assaulted by her, her being slumped on the floor drunk at the gate and verbally abusing staff he probably got to the end of his tether and said fuck this I'm done.

But I was just pointing out that part of the reasoning being employed to justify a suspicion about the husband was not ever mentioned by the OP and was just fabricated.

I wonder why, for selfish reasons, he didn't just say she was unwell

He was probably pissed off. Alcoholics are unbelievably tedious and fucking annoying a lot of the time (I say that as a recovering alcoholic!)

I mean yes, possibly. Maybe she is an alcoholic and he's the long suffering husband who has had enough of her shit.

But things aren't always as they seem, and something made OP feel weird about it.

Well I hope someone in the airline has done safeguarding training and contacts social services about the kids to be honest.