Denied boarding due to excess alcohol. What happens next when abroad?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I will try to keep the details vague and I know this isn't an aibu but I am posting for traffic

I flew home from holiday recently. At check in there was a woman in a wheelchair who looked unwell travelling with her dp and 2 young children. She was at our gate lying on the floor and her partner said she was drunk and had been the whole week they were away. He said he had had enough. The gate staff asked cabin crew who denied the woman boarding. At this stage her dp was openly crying and people were being really kind helping him to source spare nappies for his youngest and giving water etc. One woman in particular was being incredibly kind and helpful.

However the situation has been playing on my mind. She told cabin crew he was violent to her. The helpful lady said she had witnessed the woman physically going for her dp. But she did have a bruise on her face which he said was caused by falling over drunk. She was also verbally aggressive to staff.

So her dp and children boarded and she was left behind. Her dp said she had money but I don't know how much. I am certain insurance won't pay out for a hotel etc but she was obviously very vulnerable and it has been playing on my mind. I don't know whether the airline would have had a duty of care but the last I saw of her was her slumped sideways in the wheelchair at the gate. Violent or not she must have been very frightened and I don't know whether the airline would have looked after her. Does anyone know whether they would have ensured she was safe?

I also would find this a disturbing thing to witness especially the reactions of the children.
It sounds to me that the mother was the primary care giver. Hence clueless hubby with nappies etc.
Was she in a wheelchair due to being drunk or was she also disabled or injured? If the latter not sure how she'd get home. Surely airport would check?
Whole thing sounds chaotic for kids.
Many years ago a guy fell off a chair outside a pub. Massive crack as his head hit the pavement. Stopped and got don't worry love he's pissed, but went into bar to let them know.
So never just assume only drunk.

I dont know. She was in the wheelchair at check in then the next time I saw her was on the floor at the gate. I think she was just very intoxicated. She was able to get in and out of the wheelchair in-between being seemingly comatose

Physically Disabled people are responsible for their own behaviour like the rest of us. If she was stranded in a foreign country without a hotel for a while, that might actually be her rock bottom and trigger for her to address her drinking. No one can save an alcoholic but themselves. Making everything ok for them while they are drinking just maintains the problem.

What kind of man would leave his wife alone, in a vulnerable state, abroad?

I agree there's probably more to it than meets the eye.

Remember the whole Gabby Petito case? When she went missing, some bodycam police footage was released from a few days earlier. She and her boyfriend got pulled over by police during a road trip because of erratic behaviour, and she came across as hysterical and he was totally calm and placid. People were saying she was abusive, she was clearly nuts, etc. That he was a lovely guy and deserved better. Well, it turns out she was just reacting to his abuse. He was the abusive one. Insulting her, gaslighting her, then when she finally snapped and fought back, he played the victim. He murdered the poor woman, left her body in a national park and drove home, but up to that point, people thought she was the villain.

Perhaps the husband had been plying her with booze all morning. "We're on holiday love, come on, enjoy it" or "we've paid for the all inclusive, might as well get our money's worth". Maybe while pretending to join in but he's just drinking water or half measures. It sounds outlandish but it's not. I've had partners sabotage me like this. It's really not uncommon. It's a thing abusive men do. Set you up to fail, then bask in the resulting chaos.

This is exactly what I thought when I read the first post. Why people care so much about a female adult and not the children?? The effect that this is having on them must be terrifying.
So sorry you went through this when you were a child ancientgran. No child should be witnessing any of this. I don't care if is classified a mental illness or whatever. I read feel sorry for the children, they are the real victims.

Agree, a 100% with this.

Why if he was sober didn’t he have water and nappies?

adults take responsibility.

we have to accept it’s all to easy to say I attacked him / her due my emotional health, mental health

but what happens when the person says I’m am a alcoholic and yes I killed 5 others people but it’s a disease ( this was real for someone I knew) - if that person still doesn’t get help are they a victim? Or do they have to have accountability ?

People just make things up on here.

I don’t see that the dad could have done anything else other than to get his children out of there and on their way home, they must have been so distressed. Poor, poor kids.

Totally agree but she could have sustained a head injury whilst drunk

She was bruised

This doesn’t signify a reluctance to go with their father. It’s more likely a reaction to the traumatic and distressing situation they’re in with their drunk mother being refused a flight home.

I was once in the airport taxi queue when a woman came to the front of the line, tried to take the next cab, which was partially loaded with my bags already, and go anywhere that would sell her alcohol. No one was really going to argue about her cutting the line, she was unstable and it happens. Still, the driver clearly didn’t want to take her. The line attendant tried to talk her down. She also told them how much money she had and it wasn’t even enough to cover the taxi fee to the nearest liquor store because of the airport surcharge. She finally took off walking in the direction the cars went, I guess in the hopes of getting a fix. Oh, she also only had an hour to get back for her next flight. I guess she had failed to get alcohol in the terminal. No one really wanted to let her go. We all mumbled a bit about what should we do, but the truth was that she hadn’t done anything wrong and she hadn’t really said anything that justified detaining her. As much as we all could tell something was very, very, wrong with her, physically grabbing her would have been assault and she would not listen.

I'm pretty sure they have a drunk tank at airports.

Security would have wheeled her there to sober up. She could then try to fly standby or buy another ticket.

I work for an airline. We don’t have a duty of care towards intoxicated passengers. She would have been taken back through immigration with the gate agent and police and left to deal with it herself.

and you know what I’m glad. Don’t get drunk in airports and this won’t happen. I’ve dealt with too many drunken idiots and I’ve had enough of it.

So let me get this right

man drunk denied boarding serves him right

woman drunk oh she must have been spiked or abused

i mean really?

Maybe it's that the dch didn't want to go home and leave their mum behind.

Why? Because you're a woman?

If you were that shitfaced and were my partner on holiday, and responsible for kids with us too, then you'd be getting the divorce papers the morning after you eventually landed.

She got shitfaced while on holiday with her children. No matter what the cause - she deserved to be left, and feel the humiliation her husband probably felt.

Statistics would support he was more likely to be the perp than the victim of domestic abuse

Statistics support that if you pick a random man and a random woman, the man is more likely to be an abuser. That doesn't take individual circumstances into account. When there's a woman who is drunk, aggressive and has been witnessed (by another woman) abusing her husband, then the same probabilities clearly don't apply.

Finding out if she was just drunk would be the way to go. She should have received some medical attention due to other signs of injury.

@RanchoPancho so sorry to read about your sister. I hope the pain gets less with time, alcoholism is so awful.

It didn't seem like the usual "Woo Hoo. Holiday!! Let's drink too much" situation. I don't know what it was really to be honest. But it didn't seem right either

Do you know just how much more likely women are to be victims of domestic abuse than men?

Awful whatever has happened. I think husbands story more plausible than alternative (why would a domestic abuser her spike her to bring to airport like that? Not impossible but not likely). But as you have said we will never know.

If she is drunk at 10am with her children around she has my sympathy as an addict also.

I expect airport staff will keep an eye on her. For her safety and to make sure she is behaving.

It’s about twice as likely in a heterosexual relationship, I believe. Lesbian relationships are apparently subject to higher rates of domestic violence than gay ones.

It also doesn't mean it doesn't happen.