Denied boarding due to excess alcohol. What happens next when abroad?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I will try to keep the details vague and I know this isn't an aibu but I am posting for traffic

I flew home from holiday recently. At check in there was a woman in a wheelchair who looked unwell travelling with her dp and 2 young children. She was at our gate lying on the floor and her partner said she was drunk and had been the whole week they were away. He said he had had enough. The gate staff asked cabin crew who denied the woman boarding. At this stage her dp was openly crying and people were being really kind helping him to source spare nappies for his youngest and giving water etc. One woman in particular was being incredibly kind and helpful.

However the situation has been playing on my mind. She told cabin crew he was violent to her. The helpful lady said she had witnessed the woman physically going for her dp. But she did have a bruise on her face which he said was caused by falling over drunk. She was also verbally aggressive to staff.

So her dp and children boarded and she was left behind. Her dp said she had money but I don't know how much. I am certain insurance won't pay out for a hotel etc but she was obviously very vulnerable and it has been playing on my mind. I don't know whether the airline would have had a duty of care but the last I saw of her was her slumped sideways in the wheelchair at the gate. Violent or not she must have been very frightened and I don't know whether the airline would have looked after her. Does anyone know whether they would have ensured she was safe?

No. Try again.

It is not the airline's responsibility to look after people who turn up for a flight blind drunk. There's loads of stories every year of aggressive, drunk passengers on flights, with some of them having to make emergency diversion.

Why should everyone else have to put up with that, and why should the airline be expected to spend their time dealing with it?

You couldn’t make this stuff up

I think some people are getting a bit too serious here. On my part I was responding to the OPs feeling of seeing an unusual situation and speculating if there could be more to it. I don’t think anyone is saying that it’s impossible for the woman to be in the wrong (far from it), the most likely is that she has a drink problem and got herself into a state but there are other possibilities as well.

Ive seen plenty of people turning up drunk to flights but they were groups of stag/hen do types, its not so common to see a mum of young kids in that state.

In every situation, we only know what is posted. There are always many details and context and perspectives we don't know. People fill in the gaps based on their own confirmation biases or based on facts or based on crazy speculation or based on opinion or based on gender biases or based on rational thought or based on hate or based on critical thinking etc.

It is how people choose to fill in the gaps that is telling. In this case many posters went straight to evil man and victim woman because their own perspective is that the man is always in the wrong. If a man is in a bad situation it is his fault, if a woman is in a bad situation, it is also the man's fault, and he has done something to her to create her being in the bad situation. Hence this thread...

If a woman had lugged her drunk husband to the airport with two small children and asked if anyone had a nappy...the responses wouldn't be that she was clearly someone who had never looked after her children and didn't even know how to be prepared or properly care for them. Nor would it be that she was kidnapping the children, nor that it is her responsibility to not leave her husband and make sure he is okay. Nor would it be that she durgged him. It would be LTB - he can look after himself and how dare he leave her to do all the care for the kids while he gets himself drunk. He would be called a lot of names and ALL the responsibility would have been on him and that she deserved so much better and sympathy for her etc etc. Opposite of this thread. Hence for those who fill in gaps based solely on their own biases, their responses would be 100% different. Those that have critical thinking skills and rational thought can more accurately assess a situation and make sense of what is happening. Those that just work from their own biases jump all over the place with speculation and assumptions, to twist it to fit the narrative they always tell.

You are right but it’s not because we think women can do no wrong, it is just the majority or couples with small children it is the female partner that does the lions share of the childcare and packing their bags etc and we also know that more men than women are abusive. Women are more likely to be raped while in a vulnerable state hence why people are showing concern for her well being even though it is correct that she be denied on the flight.

You're right in we don't think that women do no wrong but the reason for downplaying dv against men isn't for the reason given, basically it's because we don't care.

DV against men is seen as a joke always has been. Before we married we were members of a works social, not quite wheeltappers but heading that way, it wasn't that uncommon to have big men being harangued and hit by their smaller wives. One would hide in the beer cellar if you said his wife was here. It was seen as funny. Male DV isn't a big thing simply because it isn't reported. It may be improving bug in the past a man leaving home due to abuse would more than likely also lose his children, if you want to stay as dad you simply put up with it.

Women are more likely to be raped because men can't be raped, at most it would be assault.

Thank you. This is what I was trying to say in a less articulate way

Women are more likely to be raped because men can't be raped, at most it would be assault.

Men can definitely be raped, by other men. You're thinking of women not being able to commit rape, because the English legal definition requires a penis. Although actually that is possible now, because legally there can exist a woman with a penis. Anyway, lets not get into that on this thread or it'll turn into the main topic.

Exactly.

It's hardly rocket science, is it?

I'm well aware some women are awful and behave horrendously. I've met many of them. That doesn't mean that OP's spidey senses tingling here are because she's a man hater, or those of us who agree there could be a cause for concern are automatically assuming the man is in the wrong.

We just acknowledge that there's a fairly decent chance there's more to it than meets the eye.

Except there is nothing in this scenario that would make ones spiney sense tingle or make you think there is a decent chance that there is more going on.

If the sexes were reversed no one's spiney sense would be tingling or thinking that there was a decent chance that there was something else going on and she was abusing him / drugging him / kidnapping the children.

The only reason anyone's spiney senses are tingling or they think there is something else going on is because they think men are bad / evil and so they can't accept this could be a woman with an alcohol problem who has a husband who needs to prioritize himself and the kids and get them home saely right now. If the sexes were reversed they could fully accept that - but they can't here - there has to be something he is doing that is wrong / bad/ evil - driven solely by sexist views of men and women.

And children that grow up in dysfunctional families, such as an alcoholic parent (the mother in this case it seems), are much more likely to present as behaviourally dysregulated and often lash out at their parents. Its not surprising to me, Im more surprised that people cant understand why the child is doing this.

Because its dangerous, certainly from a safeguarding sense and is illogical

I support the person who needs support and in whatever they need support not just because they're a woman and so am I.

Personally my biggest experience of abuse is from a woman, my mother so dont talk for others by saying that most women have experienced their significant abuse from men.

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its a duck

No need to fall over yourself trying to prove it must be a goose in disguise.

Except that the thread is full of women and about half of them are engaging in a toxic masculinity narrative to explain that this man cannot be at risk of his partner, is not able to safely care for his children and in fact is an abuser.

Objectively, men enjoy far more of life's privileges and securities than women, so it seems odd to me to become so emotionally invested in challenging one of the few platforms where opinion may lean towards support of women.

Do you really not see the problem here? Supporting women doesn't have to involve switching off one's brain. It doesn't excuse thinking or acting illogically. It doesn't excuse making things up to defend someone who's behaving indefensibly.

Good grief, you're pretty much feeding the mysogynist trope that claims that women are illogical.

Holy shit. The defence of this woman and demonisation of her husband continues.

Women can be alcoholics and can be abusive. Why is this so difficult for some posters to understand that some women are not decent upstanding people. The man did exactly the right thing. Prioritised his children. In any other case, there would be unanimous support on mumsnet.

The thing is, it’s sad and Detrimental to women, because as women we should be able to say that’s not ok. When you pretend we have no personal responsibility and it’s always a man’s fault, you do us all untold damage. It’s ok to say, that’s not ok.

I’m just trying to remember the last time it was on the news about a mum who had been drugged and abandoned in a foreign airport.

The way some of the posters have used this as an excuse for the drunk mum, you’d think it would be a common occurrence.

couldn’t even find a daily mail sad face sensationalised story.

Women can be abusive alcoholics. Women do drink. Plenty of female alcoholics are abusive, aggressive arseholes when drunk and are a danger to their children. These things happen. Men can’t be blamed for everything.

Men can’t be blamed for everything

You must be new here @Walkaround

True that!

You think it would make the news?

Within a square mile of my flat, there will be several hundred women, conservative estimate, who were drugged and brought into the UK as sex slaves. I knew a woman who was murdered abroad by her partner and it was never even mentioned on the news.

Some of you are on another planet.

Goodness, where is your flat? Have you reported all this sex trade that you are aware of to the authorities?

What do you do when you see a drugged woman being carried past your door?

Have you been able to rescue any of these many victims you are aware of?

Wow...you really think this isn't a thing, don't you?

I'd love to be so oblivious, blinkered and deluded...must make life much easier.

I come across women sex workers brought in from abroad, in my voluntary work. None of them have mentioned being drugged though. They just thought they were coming here to do a different type of work, then coercion etc keeps them here until they're discovered.
I can quite imagine areas of the country where there could be 100 or more rafficked sex workers within a square mile. I just doubt that they were all drugged.

Having said that, what has modern day slavery got to do with the OP? This is a family with kids.