Or is my neighbour?

[Barbiepink]

While I was at work today I asked my dad if he would be able to come round and trim the ivy/weeds that are growing in our back garden.
He said he would.

I went to work, my dad messages me and tells me he’s done it.

I got home and went into the garden to check out the work.
My next door neighbour came out and told me in no uncertain terms that my dad had cut ivy from their side of the fence as well and he’d pulled it out by the roots.
She said she’d spent 20 years growing it in the way she wanted it to be.
Her husband said she’s been crying all afternoon.

I said I was so sorry and it wasn’t my intention, it was my fault for not communicating what I wanted correctly to my dad. I just wanted the weeds pulled out and the ivy trimmed back as it was starting to grow up through the paving slabs.

Anyway, they were very upset and on the war path.

I went out and bought her some flowers to say sorry and she nearly didn’t accept them, then did, even though she said she was still so upset she couldn’t talk about it.

I hate confrontation and I feel really uneasy tonight now. I’m not sure what to do for the best.

Can I have this thread l deleted please? I’ve just seen it on Facebook on a public newsfeed. I did not agree to this.

You agreed to it when you signed up and when you posted - MN retain control of all material posted here.

You dont need to agree. It's in the public domain. It isnt your property anymore once you post. It's public domain.

Mumsnet threads end up in the daily mail ans the Express, on reddit, on Twitter, on Facebook etc. They arent private things.

Once you post, it has a life of it's own. Deleting it here wont delete any copies of it or things people have commented about it.

Surely you knew this when you joined mumsnet? It isnt a secret that threads are lifted by all sorts of "news" outlets and commentators on Twitter etc.

Also, mumsnet themselves can use them for advertising. As hooks together people to click through to the site to read more.

Cobblers - crying over ivy? Seriously - it will grow back super fast.

The Mumsnet Facebook page? Why would that matter?

Your neighbour shouldn't have trained the ivy in a way that gets into your garden.

@Notagain76 please dont use weed killer on ivy.
It’s a really important pollen source and bees take tainted pollen back and it kills nests. Please just chop the roots at the bottom and it will die back naturally.

You need to report your thread to MN if you want it pulled

How do you think that MN make money?

Advertising

And for this they need clicks and traffic

Neither of you are being unreasonable. Ivy is a very invasive plant and if it was growing up through your paving slabs, your dad did what anyone would, and pull it up to try and prevent it from continuing to grow through and cause damage eventually. Unfortunately, he had no idea that it was so precious to your neighbour. It was an honest mistake on his part, he wasn't to know that what some consider a nuisance was precious to the lady, and hopefully over time your neighbour will see this and hopefully try to keep any other precious plants from growing through to your property, just now she's understandably upset and grieving the lots of a plant she's nurtured xxx

How old are you, op? You don't seem to have many ... er, life skills.

Christ, she sounds unhinged. Also, what do you think happens when you post something on the internet? It’s on the internet…. It is not a private group chat. It’s an ivy thread, not a home video.
You will both get over this.

Not necessarily.
if it was an interwoven mess and he cut their side it could have impacted the neighbours side.

that’s the trouble with stuff that grows THROUGH fences.

Next time, use weed killer!

They said he was pulling so hard that he pulled it out by the roots.

so they saw it? Why wouldn’t they come out & say something at the time if it was so important to them?

Your dad pulled out 20 year old ivy by the roots? Is he superman?!

They probably don't have ripped out roots to show her either

If it's been growing for twenty years it'll have a trunk like a tree that has to be cut with a chainsaw, there's no way it can be pulled out.
I don't think you've done anything wrong. You've apologised, leave it at that.

A bit dramatic of your neighbours! You've done all you can to apologise - don't apologise again. It was a genuine mistake and will grow back.

She’s a bloody drama queen how could your dad yank out twenty years worth of rooted ivy that’s such hard work , we’ve got it and it grows like wildfire and certainly doesn’t take 20 years to grow

1. Why didn't they come out and speak to your dad, if they thought he was cutting/pulling too much?
2. Crying all afternoon over an ivy plant! Hmm!
3. You have apologised, bought flowers and generally tried to keep things pleasant.
4. I would not buy a plant, it might be the "wrong one" or "not te same because it takes ages to grow" etc etc
5. Just leave it for a while then maybe ask her in for a coffee or something. If she is still over dramatising then just ignore

I am thinking that the roots could have been on one side but I y has brown through the fence/cracks - so when he pulled out the doors it pulled the icy from the other side too.

Sorry about the spelling!

Weed killer? My ivy thrived on it. Boiling water? Lapped it up. Neat bleach? Yummy! :-) The bugger's indestructible..