Or is my neighbour?

[Barbiepink]

While I was at work today I asked my dad if he would be able to come round and trim the ivy/weeds that are growing in our back garden.
He said he would.

I went to work, my dad messages me and tells me he’s done it.

I got home and went into the garden to check out the work.
My next door neighbour came out and told me in no uncertain terms that my dad had cut ivy from their side of the fence as well and he’d pulled it out by the roots.
She said she’d spent 20 years growing it in the way she wanted it to be.
Her husband said she’s been crying all afternoon.

I said I was so sorry and it wasn’t my intention, it was my fault for not communicating what I wanted correctly to my dad. I just wanted the weeds pulled out and the ivy trimmed back as it was starting to grow up through the paving slabs.

Anyway, they were very upset and on the war path.

I went out and bought her some flowers to say sorry and she nearly didn’t accept them, then did, even though she said she was still so upset she couldn’t talk about it.

I hate confrontation and I feel really uneasy tonight now. I’m not sure what to do for the best.

[NegativeNelly]

@Barbiepink

Thats why I bought the flowers as I was worried that my dad had gone a bit over board and maybe pulled something from their side accidentally, but that’s because they are all attached with ours. Their ivy was growing down into our yard, but I just wanted my dad to trim it really. I have apologised.

I’m just trying to decide whether to buy an ivy plant or not and maybe a sorry card.

I would leave it now you've apologised you explained the situation you bought flowers you've done more than others would do. There's worse things in the world than ivy 😂

[SmartCarDriver]

@Meraas do you have comprehension issues? I said batshit crazy neighbour. So assuming you're not that person, I wasn't calling you batshit?

[HairyDad]

your neighbour needs to get a life. If it's growing into your side you can cut it. If bits get pulled out then tough, it's not like it's a whole tree or her prize begonias

[wonkylegs]

A mistake was made, you apologised and gave a token gesture for the impact.
They are being overly precious, ivy is invasive and fast growing and will be back in no time and no court would award damages or compensation in this situation.
We have tried to rid various bits of our property of ivy and it's almost impossible without pulling it out regularly, digging out roots and then treating with specific root killer. Cutting it back will have an immediate effect but even if only a fragment remains it will grow back very quickly.
Our gardeners cut back the ivy by our drive 2 weeks ago and it's almost already back to where it was. The growth rate of ivy is approx 50-70cm a year so it fills in very quickly especially in summer.
They are raw about it at the moment but I'm sure they will calm down. Learn from this for future times you get people to do work for you.

[Notbluepeter]

@Barbiepink

I just spoke to a friend and they said that the neighbours might try and get compensation or take us to court.

Does that sound likely?

Haha. No it would be a collasal waste of time for them and you. Tort only awards damages in respect of the actual losses suffered. You don't get compensated for hurt feelings.

[bellabasset]

@Cookiecrumble22 Mix white vinegar, with salt and soap liquid to spray on weeds. Look up the mix

@Barbiepink You say you moved in 4 years ago but you don't say if you've bought the house. If you have then check with your deeds whether you own the fence. Ivy is an invasive weed and as other pps say destroys fences, an issue I have with my ndn. But just be firm with your neighbours and tell them that you don't want them using your space to grow ivy in and you will spray it.

[Libre2]

@Notbluepeter

Haha. No it would be a collasal waste of time for them and you. Tort only awards damages in respect of the actual losses suffered. You don't get compensated for hurt feelings.

Yet…. I fear it may come in time but that is a whole other thread…

[BoredZelda]

Ivy from their side was on your side and you removed it.

As others have said, if it has taken 20 years for them to grow it, they should probably quit gardening.

[riesenrad]

@Barbiepink

I said about it growing back but they said it’s taken 20 years to grow it the way they want it to.

Yeah right. Most people want to get rid of ivy, it takes over.

She has taken you for a mug, OP. For goodness sake don't let her use emotional blackmail on you in future and keep harping back to when your dad destroyed her ivy...

[riesenrad]

I just spoke to a friend and they said that the neighbours might try and get compensation or take us to court

I think the court would rule you'd done them a favour and order them pay you

[HavfrueDenizKisi]

Your neighbours are BU for growing ivy. Bloody awful stuff. So destructive.

[GreenManalishi]

Twenty years worth of ivy and you wouldn't be able to see their house. Totally dramatic on their part, absolutely reasonable apology on yours. Sounds like her world might be a little bit small and fragile at the moment and you've accidentally stepped into it. They'll get over it, or they won't, nothing more to be done.

[ImAvingOops]

If the OPs dad cut what was on OPs side, then yes some of that will be connected to the vine growing on the neighbours side. But the neighbour shouldn't be growing it where it can encroach on another persons garden because the OP does have the right to cut any roots or branches on her side and because it's been looped, it will have a knock on effect on the neighbours side. But that's just what happened if you grow something that aggressively encroaches on other peoples space.
It might turn out that the OP owns this fence and neighbours shouldn't have been growing it at all.

[LemonSwan]

Tbh I see her side.

It’s all well and good saying ivy grows like the clappers.

But from my experience the devil of a thing has some kind of stubborn brain power in that it never actually grows where you want it to grow and grows like the clappers where you don’t want it to grow.

So I can well imagine it did take decades to adorn her fence in a beautiful full coverage way and I would be devastated.

It’s an accident though and you have tried to make amends.

[mistlethrush]

I imagine that what's happened is that your Dad's pulled ivy off your side and some of it had gone to your side and back to theirs - so you've effectively cut off something that they valued. However, if they wanted it, they should have kept it on their side rather than allowing it through your side. You are within your rights to cut off stuff on your side - and if that grows back onto their side it's not your fault.

I also agree with other posters - ivy doesn't usually wilt that quickly, although in this weather it might go quicker than normal.

[Bobbins36]

Jeez your dad did them a favour it’s dreadful stuff. In any case it will be back in a week!

[MummyJ36]

How old are they? I get the impression they haven’t got anything better to do with their time. To be honest if you’d gone in all guns blazing and shouted them down I’d understand their reaction but the fact that you’re genuinely sorry and have apologised multiple times I feel like they’re dragging it out for no particular reason than to be awkward. I hate to say “get over it” but yeah... they need to get over it. Unless they want to ask for something from you like compensation (???) there literally is nothing else you can do. Was your relationship with them good before this?

[silverbubbles]

Stop pandering - be assertive and make it very clear that you do not want it on your property and fence and they need to keep control it of it or you will pull it up.

It's invasive and will weaken your fence and walls etc.

[AmISpeakingAnotherLanguage]

They threw ivy over your fence? That's just embarrassing for them. Sounds like your dad did nothing wrong, and they were looking for a reason to have a tantrum. You've been lovely, but you don't owe them anything else. x

[Unbored]

Ask them to ensure it doesn’t encroach on your side again so that they can stay in control of what gets cut.

[Twoanklebiters]

As someone who is in a full scale war with ivy on an old wall, I can assure your neighbour, it will indeed be back.

[HaggisBurger]

She sounds like an utter loon with very little in her life to worry about. I wouldn’t play into that brand of nonsense any further.

[Tiani4]

@Barbiepink

Thats why I bought the flowers as I was worried that my dad had gone a bit over board and maybe pulled something from their side accidentally, but that’s because they are all attached with ours. Their ivy was growing down into our yard, but I just wanted my dad to trim it really. I have apologised.

I’m just trying to decide whether to buy an ivy plant or not and maybe a sorry card.

Don't buy them any Ivy plants and do not send a card. You do not want to put anything in writing nor do this

You've done what you needed to to talk with them, despite your neighbours going overboard. Your dad had a right to cut back ivy on your side and as said before they have a responsibility to trail it in their garden not winding round invading into your side and then complain when you lawfully cut it back on your side

Please listen to us and don't do anything more. You've been kind enough and it's done and finished now. Just remind them you have a right to cut writhing your garden as you see fit and they are responsible for their own invasive plants.

[Tiani4]

...To cut anything intruding into your garden .. sorry about mistype

[HannahSternDefoe]

Leave it now.

You've bought her some flowers and that's more than enough.

Ivy is terrible stuff - my NDN has some growing on his side and thru the gaps of our fence. I keep pulling it thru and chopping it off, but suspect I'll need strong weedkiller to get rid of the bloody thing.