To let my boys play football/basketball in my garden?

[mrsh1807]

My neighbours have sent me a couple of very unpleasant text messages telling me to stop my boys playing football in our garden as they don’t want to hear it.

I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling really anxious to be honest. They’ve never raised it as a concern before the messages, and the tone was intimidating.

I replied to the first one suggesting we reach an agreement where we can all enjoy our gardens, and this was responded to by them telling, not asking, me to send them to the park down the road. Those were their words, telling not asking. They’re in their early 50s.

Boys are 11 and 15. We have a decent sized garden.

I’m a single parent so feel I’m an easy target.

Do I have any options other than moving house?!

Thanks.

Honestly, I know it's hard, but you have to just ignore them now. Your boys are doing nothing wrong and you're being considerate over all. if they raise it again, just repeat that they have the right to use the garden.

They can go and complain to the council if they like. Who I suspect will just laugh at them.

Fuck that! We have just moved toba house with a garden. My children are small but I did this move solely for having a home suitable for us for life.
My children will use their garden within reasonable time frame for as long as they want

And if my football mad son carries on the way he is he will be a teen kicking a ball around.

If the neighbours want quiet they can piss off somewhere

Neighbours have a hot tub room and several times have had loud parties that go on until gone midnight. I’ve never complained. It’s life. Give and take

In that case they’ve got a blimmin’ cheek complaining. Perhaps you should complain next time they have a party. Ask them if your DC can join in 🤣

Send them this link www.gov.uk/guidance/noise-nuisances-how-councils-deal-with-complaints and tell them to complain as and when you are violating any laws. And that you will do the same when they have their next party.

Haha my kid is 11 and he'll continue to play football in my garden with me because he's still a child and it's my garden. If my neighbours don't like it, I don't care. I put up with their dogs being noisy, they put up with the sound of a football. It's give and take with neighbours.
If you want a house with no Noise in the garden, buy one with no neighbours.
OP I would just ignore them, if the message again, tell them you'll stop your boys playing football in the garden when they remove their hot tub. Somehow I don't think they will

Ring 101 to tell them you feel threatened and intimidated by them.

I am all about consideration of others but kick a ball and the noise involved is a part of reasonable noise.

Do not accept intimidation.

Report.

You are on your own, don't tolerate this.

Video door bells back and front of your house are a great investment.

My neighbour rang the police to complain about my children playing football in our garden!
They are 8 and 10 and I always made sure they didn't shout too much because I didnt want to listen to that either and they
never kicked it against the neighbour's fence but if it even went near her side of the fence she would lean out of the window and shout at them.

Yet she sat in her garden all summer screeching down the phone and playing her radio full blast all day!

YANBU OP. As long as your kids are not being anti social or out at unreasonable times then let them carry on.

And actually we are surrounded by gardens with kids splashing in pools and screaming and playing all summer but her and her husband only picked on us and I'm a single mum too. She never said a word to us when my ex lived here. Don't let them bully you OP!

My DC are older teens and play basketball for hours. IMO it’s normal noise to hear other people in their gardens. They are never out at anti social times-unlike one of my neighbours with a penchant for karaoke and singing bohemian rhapsody at all ours-or the hot tub party people three doors down who are regular 3am tubbing! I consider my kids noise to be nothing in comparison!

If you boys have been playing football there for 5 years without complaint then I would just assume your neighbour was having a bad day tbh. Particularly if they use their garden for hottub parties etc. And as such not stress over it.

Don't let them intimidate you, check your council website for noise pollution and control - there will be restriction times (likely to be after 11pm) and what's classed as excessive noise detailed there. (A ball bouncing is no excessive noise).

All kids make noise when they play, they can't help it. Your neighbours are unreasonable, especially if the boys aren't outside all the time. If it annoyed them, they should have talked to you about it before reaching seething point. So if your boys play , say, badminton instead, will their voices also annoy the neighbour? Hard cheese.

We've had a lot (and I mean a lot) of footballs coming into our garden and causing damage. So when I hear the football, my anxiety level rises.

I had words with the parents about it and now their son more often goes to the playing field (he's old enough). I had no issue with the noise itself and their kids can be really loud (as mine used to be).

Sadly, many parents are very naive when they say their kids are not that noisy, nor kicking against the fence, and have memory issues when they say it's only for half an hour at most.

The reality is most parents are delighted to send the kids in the garden for hours whilst they get a break, on the other side of the house for their own piece and quiet and don't really care that their neighbours are the one being disturbed as they try to enjoy their garden.

If there is park near by, how much of a hassle is to tell the boys who are old enough to go there to okay if you know that it really disturbs your neighbour!

I really don't get why people prefer to make others miserable when there is an easy solutions because....they want to stick to idiotic principles or maybe just get pleasure in stressing and upsetting others. Its so sad!

I'm not naive at all. My children spend hours and hours in the garden playing. I using football.

Literally what I paid for them we chose this house.

Not principle or anything just facts.

The neighbours are silly because it sounds like you would have been happy to compromise if they requested for example to avoid particular times or restrict it to an hour or so. However annoying a noise, it is much easier to deal with if you know when it's going to be stopping again.
They have lost the chance to get a good outcome for them, because they prefer to have a rant and intimidate you. They seem to be wanting conflict and a bad relationship. One wonders why. Maybe they are mad or just nasty. Anyway I would not acquiesce because that is likely to make them think they have the right to order you around and it probably won't actually stop them, more likely to make them bully you about other things. But also be careful not to inflame things further. It would be ideal to speak to them in person, most people tend to be more restrained face to face and it's less likely to misinterpret what is being said. If you think they will be aggressive then that's not possible. In that case I'd send one final message saying "I am not going to stop the children playing in the garden, however I will ask them to keep the noise down."

Tell them to fuck off. Its kids, it's summer and if they don't like it they can move. Just make sure the ball doesn't go into their garden or you won't get it back.

I have to agree with @vivainsomnia. The truth usually lies somewhere between the two stories.

Literally what I paid for them we chose this house
So if a rock band moved next to you and played in their garden some music you really really hate, meaning you just couldn't enjoy your garden 90% of the time the weather is nice, you'd accept it with grace because well, they picked that house just so they had space to play their music?

A garden is not a park, a concert hall, a party place. Yes you should be able to enjoy it but in a way that doesn't disrupt others from enjoying their own and that means keeping noise down to gentle background level.

If you want to make noise, use a venue that is appropriate for it.

Tell them to go to hell. We had neighbours years ago who used to complain about young children riding bikes, a bit of shrieking on warm afternoons , rollerblading, all the things that kids do. Neighbours were a childless couple, in their late sixties when they moved in. I asked them why they chose to move onto a family estate heavily populated with young families. They didn't really have an answer to that!!

Within reason, I think that children should be encouraged to play in the garden and under a certain age, it's not practical to expect them to be at the park. It is important to find a compromise in order to live in harmony with neighbours but it sounds to me like they are being unreasonable.

I'd have to as long as they were within the confines of the law.

A kid playing is well within the above and of someone can not tollerate that then they're a moron for moving into a family area. They should've looked into the Scottish Highlands

We luckily have a green area close by.

I don't let the DC play football because the ball goes over the wall or could potentially break a window.

I do let them play basketball within reason, not all day or trampoline.

The ball repetitively banging is annoying.

I don’t think it is personal to you being a single mother, lot's of neighbours in this area complain about balls banging or DC breathing loudly. 🙄

A kid playing is well within the above and of someone can not tollerate that then they're a moron for moving into a family area. They should've looked into the Scottish Highlands
Why didn't you move there?

A family area doesn't mean all get disturbed by selfish, don't give a shit family.

I live in a family area. Half with kids and absolutely reasonable noise. Some laughing, some talking, occasional friends etc... Then with had THE family. 3 kids, mum sent in the garden as soon as up because as she said, they drove her crazy. She'd hide in the house whilst letting the kids scream, fight, argue, shriek, kick balls against the wall etc... Sane attitude:it's their garden they can do as they wish.

Thank God they left and it's now heaven. New family in, kids are watched in the garden, told to keep their voice down, brought back indoors if they get loud. I love listening to them play, it's a real pleasure because they do without making me jump every few seconds.

Selfish people who let their kids being a real nuisance without a care are a real pest.

I don't return balls and toys that end up in my yard. They are punctured and binned. Once that became understood, the problem stopped.

Because where I moved ticked all my boxes. Including the community.

They aren't doing anything wrong. If people have an issue it is for them to resolve

I've got to be honest, I am always really surprised by just how many people seem to be annoyed by normal living noise! It's completely different if children are outside at the crack of dawn or really late at night making unnecessary noise or being rude but playing ball games and calling to each other is just a normal part of living in a neighbourhood, no? My kids are much younger than yours and probably much louder than yours too (unfortunately for me and my neighbours!) but they are only kids once. I do tell them to quieten down when they are getting too loud or fighting and I will stop a game/bring them inside for a while if they aren't behaving but kids need outdoor time.

I feel like we are always told about how "back in the day kids would be outside playing to all hours in the summer and how nice was that? Nowadays it's all technology and screen time with children" but the moment that we encourage our children outdoors to play then we are told they are too noisy. I don't think your neighbours are being reasonable. They can't tell you or your children how to live just because they want silence (don't we all?!) That's not realistic unless you're living in a secluded place in the country!