To think neighbours should have sent out a polite notice that there will be a wedding in their garden?

[Pipsquiggle]

Just that really

They have a field, and in the last couple of days I have seen a massive circus tent marquee go up. I have only noticed it as I happened to go on a walk that way

We live on a single track lane with no parking. The only access will be walking down our lane, past our houses. I am guessing there will be 200 to 300 guests by the size of marquee.

We are in a neighbours Whatsapp group. All they needed to say was
'It's going to be a bit busy and noisy on Saturday, our DC is getting married. It should be finished around 11:30pm'

They'll shit in the field and wake up face down in it 😬😂

Ask on the group and let us know the response.

I read about something similar to this but the wedding havers in that instance had sent a note out to neighbours asking THEM to be quiet for the duration of the wedding. One of the neighbours chose that same afternoon to use the lawn mower

@LouisCatorze

Have I, at any point, said I didn't want this marquee wedding to go ahead?

I think the marquee looks fab and the surrounding fields are idyllic. I would totally do the same if I had their house and their land.

I just think they should have warned the neighbours (not ask permission), so they could make plans not to be in, if they wish. It's basic manners.

You've found out it's a wedding and think it's one of the children getting married. It'll be a very rare event, unless they have seven sons and seven daughters!

I'd be wishing them the best and hoping they all have a wonderful time.

For the sake of one weekend, one late noisy Saturday night, it's worth being a gracious neighbour

It'll probably be jolly music and lots of laughter, much more bearable when you know it's a one off unusual and happy event .

If you can stay home so you don't get blocked out or in, maybe do that this weekend.

I'm not sure what anyone's getting out of this thread really. There's hardly any info.

I think on a barmy summer's evening, the type of music played at a wedding reception would probably be very enjoyable, uplifting and even nostalgic, as long as it doesn't go on all night and it's not gangsta drill music

Live a little OP. Not all of life is in your control!

@Pipsquiggle

I agree they could have spoken to each of the nice neighbours to prewarn you. But it sounds like they were avoiding any planned interference from the neighbour family they don't get on with.

Sounds like it may be inconvenient for you but they might have made arrangements so for eg cars park in their field not in the Lane or arranged minibuses to bring everyone down - so there's as little disruption as possible.

I am probably adding to the pointless-ness of this thread but, yes, they absolutely should have told you.

In fact, we had exactly this situation (same set up re: access etc) and our neighbours told us (and we were able to go away for the weekend.)

I didn't expect them to ask for permission or even to apologise about the event. They didn't - just gave us the facts.

I was happy for them to have a wedding, congrats to the happy couple, and equally happy that they were straight with us and let us have some control over what we could do about it in terms of our comfort.

We're guessing all of this- but it's as more likely they thought it through to minimise disruption to the opposite option that they haven't.

150 -200 people walking down your lane won't be a big thing, I have more than 200 people walk past my house every day ! As long as each of those people don't pick a flower from your garden or ring your doorbell ti ask to use the toilet, it likely won't be a big disturbance.

I'd want to get my bunting out to front of my house tho' and stand out by my front door when the bridal party and everyone troop past & cheer and congratulate them!
When our NDN had her funeral - it all went from her house and we stood out to salute her coffin as she went past. Family didn't warn the neighbours (I knew as invited) but word spread fast hearse turned up and neighbours all started coming out to wave her off in her final journey. A wedding is a wonderful event to wave people by on!!!

I'm assuming they didn't tell anyone as if you are going to hold an unlicensed event, you don't give people the chance to report it and get it shut down! Now it's the weekend and the council is closed, although sometimes the police will still attend to shut down raves, there's not much any disgruntled villagers can do.

It sounds like a beautiful location for a wedding reception.

It does seem strange they didn't mention it, even if just because most neighbours would want to avoid inadvertently squashing the mood by having their septic tank emptied or noisy building works on the same day.

Unless relations with the other neighbour really are so poor that they fear they will do exactly that!

Still, you'd have thought it would have gone in their favour to have a quiet word with the other neighbours.

This is a thread about modern day neighbourly etiquette and whether what I deem as good manners is being unreasonable.

I am not going to fall out with my neighbours or make an issue out of this. I like them and I hope the wedding is brilliant.

If it goes on until 2am though, I might think differently 😂

@LouisCatorze Drill music isn't 'gangsta' music

How can a family wedding reception on their own private property be considered an unlicenced event, unless you think they're actually selling tickets?

@PineForestsAndSunshine

From what I have heard, they really, really don't get on with one of the neighbours so I guess they didn't use the WhatsApp group for fear of reprisals from that particular neighbour.

@kindlyensure - totally agree with you

it’d have been good manners to have told you.

I can see why they might not have done though. last minute wedding stuff taking higher priority, arsey neighbours on the group. Some people just love to be pissed off. It’s one day, for a wedding, let it go.

Ha, it's not the walking down the lane before that will be the problem. It's at the end of the night when the booze has been flowing. Apparently I missed all sorts of er...interesting... shenanigans when I chose to go away for our neighbours event (according to the ones who stayed). Good luck!

Any sign of guests?

Barmy or Balmy. They're quite different. Of course it could be both!!

And certainly not balmy where I live. Wellies and raincoats weather!!

I agree they could have handled it better, especially by giving you more notice so you had the option of staying overnight elsewhere.

I'm going to a similar wedding this year. The hosts know all of their neighbours and don't want to piss anyone off so they're doing the following:

1. Giving neighbours months of notice and reassuring them that the music will be off by 11.

1. Inviting immediate neighbours so they have the option to join in rather than stewing indoors.

1. Doing a band earlier in the evening then a silent disco later to minimise noise.

1. Ending the event at 11 instead of the usual 12.

Not all guests are feral though. It's not a given that there will be bad behaviour at a wedding reception. Surely it rather depends what type of family they are? And a wedding reception in a field doesn't sound as if it's going to turn into a riotous affair?

Yes of course they should have mentioned it. Hopefully you won't be too badly disturbed and that it doesn't go on until tomorrow morning

How DARE somebody get married on a SATURDAY during EXAM SEASON! <faints clean away>

We had a similar problem about 7 years ago.

neighbours had a big charity event in their garden that went on until the early hours. Music, games, raffle, microphone that was way too loud.

I wouldn’t have minded one bit if they just let us know. Our twins were small at the time and it kept them awake. I would have asked my mum to have them for the night.

very rude, but then again he is such an arrogant prick