To want to say the biggest ‘fuck you’ ever!

[Troyes76]

So, I left my previous job last year(teacher) I was treated really badly by certain members of SLT (bullying, gaslighting, negative comments etc) so much so that I had a breakdown and was signed off for a while. I began to believe that I was a rubbish teacher as that’s what I was told by them day in day out.

Fast forward to now, I’m in the most amazing school, with wonderful staff and kids, glowing reviews with my teaching mojo back and I LOVE it!

Tomorrow is the leaving party for a friend of mine from my old school. The bullying SLT members will be there.
Should I
a) Just ignore them and focus on my friends
b) Make a beeline for them and go on and on about how much I love my new job
c) Poke them in the eyes

My husband says b), I know a and b are what I will choose between.
c) is so tempting though - any more suggestions on how to say ‘fuck you’!

Always wanted to try this

Don't be daft!

shed just look incredibly stupid!!

@Troyes76 I think C!!! But I suppose that'll get you in trouble, so I guess A, but if they approach you & ask about your new job, don't hesitate to say a good SLT makes all the difference to staff morale. 🤣

Lucky you who never had to stare down a bully. It absolutely does work. When you smile, and turn away as there stupified brains just cannot compute what’s just happened. Then that delicious moment when they realise that you’ve not given them free rent in your head since you last saw them. - because they had so little impact they were instantly forgettable.
There crestfallen expression makes them look so small and sad. It’s beautiful to behold.

I honestly don’t believe this happens outside of your head and/or Disney specials. There’s absolutely no way she could pull off amnesia in a social setting, and she’d look ridiculous if she tried.

Really- well I’ve both done it and seen it done. Anyone can do it. The only
one who looks ridiculous is the bully.

who the hell watches Disney specials ????? What in earth are they??

So what happens when they say ‘I’m Sarah, we worked together at Lane High’ - does the OP then pretend she doesn’t remember the school too?

Meet your friend on a different day to celebrate her leaving and don’t go at all.

You are not being unreasonable yo wantvto say fuck you, these oeople really impacted you. However, I agree that a is the best way to do that.

The only one who looks ridiculous is the bully.

No, honestly the only one who looks ridiculous is the one claiming they have the memory of a goldfish.

And given the SLT thought the OP was rubbish at her job, that'd just 'confirm' it to them if her memory can't go back to less than a year.

A

I completely sympathise btw, I was in an old job where I was always a scapegoat for stuff going wrong, I got the blame for others mistakes which I know I didn’t do, I was tasked with the worst tasks no one else wanted, I knew I did my job well and was told by colleagues that I was crap at it (not by management) it was an office with a group of cliquey girls who I clearly didn’t fit in with and they just decided to act like they were in high school! So I’m sorry you went through that

A

C is impossible (except in your thoughts) and B is trying too hard.

Something similar to a situation mentioned by ToffeenotCoffee; the great majority of time I spent teaching was happy, but for two brief periods I fell foul of two different heads, who I realised later were basically very insecure individuals.
One I met again at a staff reunion, one at a church service, and in both instances , they attempted to greet me warmly as a long-lost friend, which baffled me, although I remained civil (with an effort). Teaching can be a small world, and you never know when you'll need a reference.........
As in all small circles, word gets around, and I knew that they had come unstuck in different ways; without their "support teams", both seemed oddly diminished. But you know already that a) is your best option, even if they still seem to be riding high.

To be honest, I would not want to go. I would not want to be near people (i.e. SLT) who had treated me like this. I'd catch up with my friend another time.

What do you feel more comfortable with? A beeline bragging campaign is easier said than done, as it takes a certain personality to pull it off well. It might only reinvoke old adversities and justify them ex post.

If you got an invite from a colleague, s/he is most likely fond of you and not one of the instigators. If I were you I would not commit immediately but if she follows up then just go for her sake.

But not stay longer than say half an hour (max one hour) and focus on making him feel appreciated. Quick nod (up) to the rest and off.

<Hands Troyes76 a big stick...>

I'd say go with A and whenever the A-holes are within earshot make a massive point of congratulating your friend on being able to escape and arrange to make plans to meet up with them away from the toxic crowd.

Yes, I had the same similiar situation with my job. Terrible female bully of a superviser, who sadly had no children but that wasnt my problem as every time I asked for days holiday off for in the school holidays I was told I was taking "priority" over the others in small section - but as there was only one person who had a child, the rest had no children. She would target me + dash over to my desk and wisper down my neck, so in the end I left under the doctor and luckily I got my works part-time pension after going to Occupational Health after breakdown which she had driven me to, but as I loved the nature of the job I felt sad that I didn't continue working elsewhere. So good on you now whos fortunate now in this job you are respected and like the work once more, but my personal advice so you dont get upset with things from the "past" or should I say "people from the past" then, I would send a gift and maybe meet this person on a "one to to one" meet-up then say to her of all the great things going on in your life with your new job and how happy you are and FOR SURE IT WILL GET BACK TO THOSE AWFUL BULLIES by word of mouth from her.

My preferred method if I am approached by a twat is to scan them slowly with my eyes, up and down and smirk slightly. It really puts them n edge. If they ask is done thing is wrong I then fake smile and say ‘no, why?’ It really seems to throw them off.

Enjoy your real friends, if they approach or say anything then say out really loud sorry do I know you? Then walk off.
(preferably giving them the middle finger)

I wouldn't go - you just need to avoid people like this in life.

This.. They will hate seeing you well and happy and that is the best revenge. Practice a merry tinkling little laugh.

A.
Although I wouldn't go and would take my friend out for a nice meal instead.

100% this!!

Spend your time with the good friends you made. If, and only if, the mean girl contingent talk to you, then gush about how supportive and rewarding your new environment is. Do not engage or give them ammunition to tear you down again.

A