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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it should have come out of her pocket money not my son's?

333 replies

Kiplingsroad · 17/06/2022 17:16

My DC had to bring a small amount of money to an event for school yesterday. He brought it on the correct day and tried to give it to the TA and she said, no, you've already paid, you don't need to give me money.

She then came up to me today and asked me for money as he should have paid, she had made an error yesterday.

I asked him where it was and he said he'd lost it (he's 8 and probably put it in his pocket and it fell out in playground, I imagine.)

I said, sorry, he's lost it.

She said you still need to pay, he hasn't paid.

I said, but he had the money, he tried to do the right thing and pay you, and now he's lost it.

She then said, well, come inside and she found another teacher to translate (we're in Germany) and the conversation continued with her saying he shouldn't have lost it, he's going into year three, he needs to be more careful, and it should come out of his pocket money.

I said, look,the point is he tried to do the right thing and was stopped by you. Why should it come out of his pocket money if he then loses it? He shouldn't have had it on him in the first place to lose.

She was furious. She has form for being quite tough on him and has been for two years. He is having friendship issues, has just been diagnosed with dyslexia, and absolutely hates school. So in this case I felt it was unfair of her to blame him for her error, and chase me up.

WIBU?

For context, this is for an event at the school, so all money goes into a pot, and I spent plenty of money anyway - I actually bought a kid whose mum hadn't got there yet a bratwurst, so they did get the money in the end.

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 21/06/2022 18:13

TA has banned him, and him alone, from the drawing table as he made a mess
She's clearly never seen the inside of an artist's studio. Surely the answer is to encourage him to tidy up, not ban him!
Your poor son. I hope the actual teacher can respond more appropriately and show him more positive encouragement.
Not long till the holidays OP.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 21/06/2022 21:42

YetAnotherSpartacus · 19/06/2022 14:41

I love it that so many here are berating a child's carelessness in losing the money (a child with additional needs no less) but excusing an adult who apparently is unable to read a simple list of names with ticks next to them.

I'm also enjoying the posts from those who don't seem to realise (even though it has been explained again and again) that the OP paid for another child's bratwurst and the money all went into a pot for the whole class.

As usual, this is an odd thread that has seemed to attract a few bullies who like a pile on just because in some sad way it makes them feel better about themselves.

I hope that your son gets some nice teaching staff in his next year, OP.

This is a load of old nonsense. So the OP chose to buy another child a bratwurst - big deal. I bought my friend a coffee last week. Does that mean that if a group of us had clubbed together for a trip that I’d no longer owe my share?

Millions of children worldwide take dinner money to school every day. Somehow the vast majority manage to still be in possession of it at lunchtime, every single day.

Madamum18 · 22/06/2022 16:15

Millions of children worldwide take dinner money to school every day. Somehow the vast majority manage to still be in possession of it at lunchtime, every single day.

But this kid wasn't used to having money, wasn't set up with a safe way to keep it (which kids where its a daily occurrence will be) and this kid has additional needs! Dear me!

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 22/06/2022 21:13

this kid has additional needs!

He needs his mother to stop blaming the teachers.

Madamum18 · 23/06/2022 19:52

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 22/06/2022 21:13

this kid has additional needs!

He needs his mother to stop blaming the teachers.

Er actually the school needs to start taking some responsibility for their pupil with additional needs. The TA knew he had additional needs. She could have talked to him about how he was going to keep his money so it didn't get lost! And banning him from the art table ...I mean come on what happened to inclusion!

I think you may well just be deliberately winding up now ..I find it hard to believe that anyone could be quite so unaware of issues around kids with additional needs, school responsibilities etc but maybe I am wrong and you really are! As well as intolerant!

Kiplingsroad · 24/06/2022 13:56

Madamum18 thanks for defending my son, bless you! I have learned a lot from this thread about dyslexia and handling the school and getting my son through. The odd AIBU stirrer was the necessary tax for so much traffic😂

My husband went along and smoked the peace pipe with the TA in German, interestingly a German poster suggested asking her advice as it would flatter her and that's exactly what he did, and it worked, so we've ended on a friendly note. I just saw her then and wished her a schonen Wochenende (spelling?) which she took very graciously and I have many excellent ideas from a poster who knows exactly where I'm coming from about how to support my son at school going forward.

Roll on summer holidays....

OP posts:
Madamum18 · 24/06/2022 16:03

Kipling glad you got it sorted and hope things improve for him at the school, moving forward! :)

unname · 27/06/2022 00:43

That’s happy news. Glad this episode ended on a high note for your son and family.

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