Help me unfuck this! Child in hospital, long haul trip home tomorrow

[ElfinsMum]

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We are in Australia. First trip home in 2.5 years booked for tomorrow. 4 week trip timed with Aus winter school hols. SIL and her kids also flying into UK so we can all celebrate PILs' 50th.

Youngest DD (2) admitted to hospital today unexpectedly. She can't fly for at least a week, maybe 10 days. Docs won't know for sure for another couple of days depending how the treatment goes.

DS is utterly gutted and has been bawling his eyes out all evening and demanding that DH takes him tomorrow anyway. DD1 suffers some separation anxiety and called me earlier to say she would be too anxious to go without me and the baby.

What the hell do we do?

DH wants to head off tomorrow as planned with older DCs. He thinks it's fine to leave me in hospital with the toddler and then us come across later when she is allowed to fly. I think that's easy to say when you're not the one being left literally holding the baby in hospital!! Also, I couldn't leave my ill child like that, just couldn't. Bothers me that it turns out he could.

I want to reschedule all our flights to 10 days later to be certain and reorganise holiday, i.e. still 4 weeks but later. DH says that's impractical and that everything is now planned and booked around these dates. In particular we will miss his sister and family. He is angry at me that I am willing to sacrifice seeing his family.

We have also discussed a compromise option, where DH and older kids wait until we are out of hospital to go then we follow later.

What other options are there? How do we decide??

I would do what he is suggesting, unless the child in hospital is seriously ill (and apologies if I'm wrong but it sounds like that is not the case?).

I'd go with his suggestion personally. It's a shame she is unwell but you will be able to join them in 10 days. The other option is he flies alone and you take the kids but that doesn't sound particularly fair. Or he takes your son and leaves your middle child with your

You

What is the matter with your toddler/ how serious is the problem?

How much would it cost to delay the trip?

How old are the other children and how old are their cousins that they’ll be meeting in the U.K.?

I'm not unfeeling and I don't know the medical situation but your dh's suggestion sounds the least stressful. I feel for you with the separation anxiety. Could you explain that just as she needs you, her ds also needs her.
Have you tried to call the airline to see if they will move all of your flights? Are you insured?

If youngest DD is OK ie she is recuperating; her condition is stable and there is no obvious risk to her then I'd tell DH and the older DCs to go on the trip.

My DH worked away a lot. It wouldn't bother me to be the only person at the hospital.

It really depends on what the issue is with your 2 year old

Depends why is wrong with her

I think your DH and the older DC should go as planned so that he sees his sister and family. Sorry - it sucks to be the one left behind with a DC In hospital (I hope she’s ok).

Sorry but I agree with your DH. If you reschesule for 10 days time what if your youngest still can’t fly? I think that your DH is being pragmatic but I can understand your unease at being left behind alone to deal with your sick child and all the emotions and practical details that entails.

Do you have travel insurance? Usually this will just pay out for new flights for the sick child and 1 parent.

They won't cover the extra travel and accommodation for all of you.

Unless your child is so seriously unwell that not getting better is a real possibility (and it doesn't sound like that) then your DH should take the kids home as planned tomorrow.

Or you take them home and he stays with the baby. Whichever works around your work / needs back home.

Sorry, but unless DD is seriously unwell I would let him DH go ahead. It would be such a shame for him to miss seeing his sister after such a long time.

I’d just follow with the toddler when signed for for travel.

I would send DH with the older kids as planned. Surely he would just be at home with them anyway with you looking after the youngest in hospital. It does mean that he cant take a turn in the hospital, do you have friends that could sit with her for a hour while she naps so you can get some fresh air?

If your little one is in serious condition, and might deteriorate I wouldnt suggest this, but it seems from your OP that she is not serious

If the 2 year old is recovering and no risk of things getting worse, then go with DHs plan. If the medical situation could get worse, then everyone should stay.

Is also do what he suggests. It seems the most sensible option. And why should the whole family miss out on their holiday.

DH is the right here.

DD2 in hospital but not seriously ill no

Another one on team dh here sorry.

I’m so sorry you’re in this position and I hope your daughter is comfortable and on the mend.

Is DD2’s illness understood and managed now, albeit she won’t be out of hospital or able to fly for a week or 2? Or are things still uncertain? I think that, and the severity of her illness, makes a big difference to what’s reasonable.

In general, it will normally be better for the other kids to be off doing something fun than stuck waiting at home. But I see how that might feel a bit like abandonment to you.

Assuming she's not seriously I'll. obviously. You might find it easier not having to worry about the other kids and can focus on your DD.

Dependant on what your youngest is ill with, on the face of it I think DH is right. Maybe leave your older DD home with you if that's at all practical, but if she's not old enough / confident enough to be home alone while you're in the hospital then she'd have to go with him.

Madness to rearrange it all now, and miss his sister, (and the 50th? As it sounds like that's the point of the entire trip?)

All being at home miserable but together is no benefit to anyone.

Also, your travel insurance may only cover you for one adult to stay behind and reschedule.

I agree - he goes with older DC and you join him when you can. He can't help from home when you're in hospital with the 2y/o anyway really so I agree with him it makes sense this way and is least disruptive to your older DC

Sorry. That took a long time to type.

I would go with his plan. You can concentrate on DD and then join later.

Then I would go with DH suggestion