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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help me unfuck this! Child in hospital, long haul trip home tomorrow

357 replies

ElfinsMum · 16/06/2022 17:32

Posting for traffic:

We are in Australia. First trip home in 2.5 years booked for tomorrow. 4 week trip timed with Aus winter school hols. SIL and her kids also flying into UK so we can all celebrate PILs' 50th.

Youngest DD (2) admitted to hospital today unexpectedly. She can't fly for at least a week, maybe 10 days. Docs won't know for sure for another couple of days depending how the treatment goes.

DS is utterly gutted and has been bawling his eyes out all evening and demanding that DH takes him tomorrow anyway. DD1 suffers some separation anxiety and called me earlier to say she would be too anxious to go without me and the baby.

What the hell do we do?

DH wants to head off tomorrow as planned with older DCs. He thinks it's fine to leave me in hospital with the toddler and then us come across later when she is allowed to fly. I think that's easy to say when you're not the one being left literally holding the baby in hospital!! Also, I couldn't leave my ill child like that, just couldn't. Bothers me that it turns out he could.

I want to reschedule all our flights to 10 days later to be certain and reorganise holiday, i.e. still 4 weeks but later. DH says that's impractical and that everything is now planned and booked around these dates. In particular we will miss his sister and family. He is angry at me that I am willing to sacrifice seeing his family.

We have also discussed a compromise option, where DH and older kids wait until we are out of hospital to go then we follow later.

What other options are there? How do we decide??

OP posts:
3luckystars · 17/06/2022 08:15

You can do this! You can a thousand times do this!

good luck x

scoobydo99 · 17/06/2022 08:33

I’m really sorry you’re in this situation. I do think people here have underestimated that this trip is important to you too and it’s not all about DH seeing his family. You must have been really looking forward to seeing yours. I hope you manage to go very soon and your DD improves quickly.

Blackbird2020 · 17/06/2022 08:41

Good for you OP! Parenting curveball #835 sorted 😉 Just don’t think about the future thousands yet to be experienced 😆

Hope your little one gets better quickly, that the flight over is uneventful, and that you and your whole family will be reunited again very soon💐

Frazzled2207 · 17/06/2022 09:52

hi OP
Really pleased to hear you are feeling better about this - if your consultant has given the green light to fly in a week then he/she must be confident about your child's recovery. IME they tend to err on the side of caution in such things! Yes it will definitely be far from ideal having to stay behind however I'm pleased you are able to draft in friends to help - any of them who are parents will totally understand your predicament. Hopefully knowing your dh and other kids are well looked after will help you and your baby recover ahead of the journey.

LesGiselle · 17/06/2022 11:28

Yay! Good for you OP. You and your family are obviously a strong, loving team. Good luck with everything Flowers xxx

Midlifemusings · 17/06/2022 11:56

Glad you got your head around it OP. And also glad you got in touch with friends - they really don't mind helping out.

Sounds like it might only be a week until you can join them. You will all have a much better vacation with your husband having also gotten to see his family and be at the celebration and your kids getting more family time and having fun.

Midlifemusings · 17/06/2022 11:57

scoobydo99 · 17/06/2022 08:33

I’m really sorry you’re in this situation. I do think people here have underestimated that this trip is important to you too and it’s not all about DH seeing his family. You must have been really looking forward to seeing yours. I hope you manage to go very soon and your DD improves quickly.

She was still going to get weeks with her family. It was only DH who wouldn't have gotten to see family if they delayed. That is why the focus has been on DH getting to the event and seeing family - those things would be done and gone if they delayed.

ParkingPermitWoes · 17/06/2022 12:26

Where about a in Aus are you? If Sydney then I am more than happy to help out if you need it! We head back in 1 July (first time in 6 years) so totally feel your pain. Glad you have found a way forward.

Jack80 · 17/06/2022 17:47

Unless the illness is life threatening I would do what DH suggested, I’m sure you will be fine and can face time updates to him.

BrimFullOfAsher · 17/06/2022 18:15

Not RTFT but as with posters I've seen so far, I think your DH is right. Sorry OP and I hope your DD is ok

BrimFullOfAsher · 17/06/2022 18:18

OK, ignore above lol

PatrioticPenny743 · 17/06/2022 18:26

Yes let them go and you can just concentrate on you and your child in hosp, then meet them in the UK when possible.

pollymere · 17/06/2022 18:32

I'd let him go as it's his parents' 50th with the other kids. You may find you're closely behind or that you're not out in the ten days. Hopefully the former. I know it will be tricky but possibly easier than him flying with a brood!

Lily4444 · 17/06/2022 18:52

If I were you I’d rebook. The way I see it:

If he goes, you and your daughter will be miserable.

If you go your husband will be miserable.

so it’s probably better to wait til you can all go together and actually enjoy the holiday

AbleCable · 17/06/2022 19:02

Travel insurance will cover rebooking your and DD flights - they cover the sick child and one parent in the case of child illness. Hope your DD recovers well and you are both on your way to join the rest of the family soon.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 17/06/2022 19:10

So glad you found a solution OP and that you have friends who will come in and support you. Flights from Oz are high at the mo, but as pp said hopefully insurance will help and you have the consultants recommendation that it will be OK to travel at that time.
Wishing you an easier than expected week and a speedy recovery to your DD and a good flight to Blighty to you both 😎

Threeboysandadog · 17/06/2022 19:11

Enjoy your holiday when you get there op

THEDEACON · 17/06/2022 19:26

Team DH here Pull on your big girl pants and get on with it

MyWorstIsGoodEnough · 17/06/2022 19:37

READ

OPS

UPDATE

🙃

Roco11 · 17/06/2022 21:02

I hope your daughter is ok.
I'd be more concerned that my husband would be prepared to leave me with our daughter particularly as you are obviously not comfortable with that.

LesGiselle · 17/06/2022 22:38

I'd be more concerned that my husband would be prepared to leave me with our daughter particularly as you are obviously not comfortable with that

The DH will be taking a long haul flight with two other children and the majority of the luggage for a family of five for four weeks. I know which I'd prefer, frankly.

Justdontdoit · 18/06/2022 02:54

It always makes me laugh when people comment without at least reading the Ops comments. That aside, I’m glad you made that decision as life is too short and we really do have to grab all the chances of making memories with our loved ones whilst we can. Sorry that you’re the one left ‘holding the baby’ but it is the most practical solution. I hope you have the best time when you do get away and a speedy recovery to your DD x

wombat1a · 18/06/2022 04:11

DH plan is best, you could well find in 10 days time you can not get the tickets you need anyway and it'll be a lot easier to find a smaller amount of tickets than the entire families worth.

kateandme · 18/06/2022 05:09

Op yoy sound so much happier and more confident now.thats the most important thing here.i think.so you go into this next but knowing you've got this.
We are all still here for you.many day and nights.reach out if u wobble.
I no it's bound to feel scary.thee lots going on right now to sort and deal with and not the way thing were planned.just do one day at a time.
Keep yourself sane with doing the little things you do to take care of yourself.

ElfinsMum · 18/06/2022 08:44

Well, all's well that ends well:

The baby and I are out of hospital and having a nice quiet day at home together. She is in heaven having mummy all to herself for such a long time!

DH and older two kids just facetimed from my parents house. Kids looked very happy. DH looked like a parent who had just gone solo long haul for the first time in his life 😂

Fingers crossed I can get enough yucky antibiotics down the wee one to have her well enough to fly on Friday.

Thanks again Mumsnet. You really turned this one around!!

OP posts: