DP making me look bad infront of his kids

[Louisana6]

DP lives with me. He has his children for tea today. Not an overnight contact just tea.

I asked him to consider taking them out for their tea today as opposed to coming here. I'm on my period and having an endo flare up so I'm feeling very rough. Changing pads every 45 minutes due to flooding and very conscious of it.

It's a small living room and everybody piles on top of each other as there isn't a garden. I'm just not up to entertaining boisterous kids today.

He agreed. I suggested a picnic and kick about in the park if they fancied that. He collects them from school and returns here to get the sandwiches etc.

They arrive and eldest is as red as a beetroot so clearly suffering in the hot weather. I haven't been outside so didn't realise how hot it was. I say to DP "don't worry about taking them out, it's obviously alot hotter than I thought and he's suffering. Have tea here"

He replies within earshot of them "well you made it clear we couldn't sit in here"

What a way to alienate me and make me look like the stereotypical wicked step mother.

He was being unreasonable saying that infront of them wasn't he?

Jesus Christ there are many threads where a woman moves in with a man and is told it’s now all shared, she is equal, it’s her home now.

The automatic assumption here is that she will very much be working for her keep. Chief cook, bottlewasher, nurserymaid and very compliant in the bedroom department. It's likely she will be working too, maybe not earning in the same league, but putting in the hours nevertheless.

The reverse is usually not the case! Men who have been divorced seem pretty canny about getting the best of the deal in further relationships. Once bitten...

Ladies, if you have a home and a good career, be aware. You are prey.

This.

and making it a woman on woman conflict - with the new, working woman implicitly subsidising the Ex who remains a SAHM and in the old home.
With the man of course being an innocent link in all this!!

@AllThingsServeTheBeam

Yeah they do

He sounds like a twat @Louisana6 .

^When I revisited the subject last year he had done a 180 and said he didn't want to get married, it's not important to him, bla bla bla.
From that point onwards I began doubting the longevity of the relationship (and his feelings for me actually)^

You're right to. He doesn't want to make the kind of commitment you want and doesn't want the same things from a relationship (even though he claimed to at first- either was lying or is now taking you for granted and thinking he doesn't have to marry you now.)

I don't think you should marry him BTW. You could have someone much nicer and more understanding, who doesn't try and make you look like a bad person to others.

I don't think you should marry him BTW. You could have someone much nicer and more understanding, who doesn't try and make you look like a bad person to others.

This ^^. Avoid at all costs entangling yourself any further - including financially. In fact, quite the opposite. 🌹