To be irked by this presumption about slim people?

[lolliwillowes]

I've seen a lot of threads on MN over the years discussing weight and diets, and they are often filled with statements such as "all of the slim people I know don't care about food, don't talk about it and use it only as fuel"

I can only speak for myself, ultimately, but I don't know one slim person who doesn't care about food. There is also a presumption that very slim people, especially over the age of 35 are all on strict, joyless diet regimes. It simply isn't true. Many, many people over 35 enjoy healthy, balanced and tasty meals, involving snacks, moderate alcohol use and the occasional junk treat. Perhaps 'moderate' is the word but not always!, but slenderness over 35 is NOT always intentional.

There are of course similar, ignorant presumptions about overweight/obese people, which describe them as lacking in willpower (I think overweight people have fucking awesome willpower a lot of the time, more so than I, and few people appreciate that fact).

But the idea that slim/thin individuals derive no pleasure from food is incredibly ignorant. Perhaps it is difficult to understand if one is constantly trying to loose weight and struggling, it must seem like a slender person is suffering too to achieve their weight?

It simply doesn't work like that, even though there are thin people who count every morsel and claim they have to fight to keep weight off - this is not a fast rule as we age. I think many different factors affect appetite, from gut biome to metabolism, and no two people are the same. I am late 40's and struggle sometimes to keep weight on, but I love my food with the same sensual pleasure that others do who are all different body sizes.

I just don't think we can make assumptions about what goes on with anyone's body. It is as ignorant as claiming all fat people are lazy, which we know is utter hogwash.

I once mentioned in a thread about carbs that I enjoyed a small amount every odd day, that I ate intuitively and enjoyed my meals - and was accused by several in the thread of fooling myself, that I was possibly even disordered because I was 1 lb underweight. Nobody would accept that I enjoyed pasta and toasted sourdough, that I didn't have to work my arse off to stay slim. Likewise, I feel it is wrong to presume a larger person shovels junk down every week. We are all just so, so different. What works for one won't work for another. The west is obsessed with restriction and exclusion of entire food groups and it doesn't bode well. But the persistent view of slim people living austere, joyless lives is not only insulting, it betrays a certain anger towards them, too.

They're jealous. That's all.

Not sure anyone really thinks slim people lead "austere, joyless lives" do they? I think you're looking for something to be cross about.

My DH is built like a racing snake and eats like a horse. He's an ectomorph body shape.

Metabolism and skeletal frame, innit?

Everybody is different. It’s not worth getting excited about.

Well one could say this about ANY IABU, couldn't we?
And it's funny but your reply made me think YOU were looking for conflict. Funny old world, eh?

I also don't believe they are 'jealous'.

I think women are pitted against each other due to societies shitty standards though. And quick put-downs on this website are often reminiscent of schoolyard tactics: "what's the fuss, why don't you calm down",,,,etc, etc.

No, I'm suggesting there isn't a conflict. Most people don't see slim people or fat people as homogenous groups but as individuals.

I don't believe that slim people don't enjoy their food. But I do believe that they look at food differently to people who are overweight.

You mentioned that you enjoy pasta and bread. Do you eat them for every meal? Do you eat excessive amounts for every meal? Then go onto eat to excess after those meals? Or are you able to stop? I think that is where thin and fat people differ. Thinner people have that natural off switch.

Wait, you enjoy a few carbs every few days? And you don't restrict food groups? Okay.

As to the rest of it, I don't know. The very slim people I know are ill or do count carefully. But I can only speak for myself

I think people presume about everything
The GP once told me to do some gentle walking. At that time I was with a PT twice a week, lifting heavy weights, doing spin class, aerial hoop, pole fitness and riding my horse. Not sure where I was meant to fit the walking in

I disagree.
I see plenty overweight people on MN who DO believe people are rude, judgemental and make assumptions about them. And they are correct, not jealous. If weight related threads are anything to go by (such as the glib 'calories in calories out' crowd), we are not seen as individuals at all.

I'm size 6/8 and couldn't care less what other people think of my diet and lifestyle. If they make assumptions I barely eat, that's hardly attacking my character in the way the assumptions about overweight people (greedy, lazy, selfish drain on the NHS) attack theirs. If the worst judgement people make about my body type (balanced against all the incredibly positive things said about slim people) is that I don't each much, well, I'll take that.

I dont know because the way you have phrased this "I once mentioned in a thread about carbs that I enjoyed a small amount every odd day" makes it sound like you are quite restrictive (perhaps context is missing I dont know) but most people would eat carbs every day unless on a carb free diet.

Everyone is different and I dont think people are generally spending much time thinking about other peoples eating habits they are more focused on their own

I think most people that don’t have food issues don’t post threads about food on mumsnet. Why would this bother you if you’re slim and eat well?

The only threads I see where people comment on disordered eating, are ones posters start talking about skipping meals, forgetting to eat, only having only 1 meal a day and other unhealthy food habits. Some post their diet and they’re barely eating 1000 calories a day, there’s no calcium etc.

Yeah I don't lose any sleep over it really

I’m not skinny and I don’t really care if you are. Why do you think people do?

I am aged 50 and slim. I have been fit and active all my life.
I've never been on a proper diet.
I eat all things but I suppose in moderation.
If I'm not in work or going out I do tend to eat when I'm hungry, and if it's only me I don't cook.
I certainly don't under eat and find some of the under eating threads in here quite worrying.
I think I've got a healthy relationship with food , I guess I'm quite lucky.
I hope that doesn't sound smug.

But you've just said that you restrict a food group 😂

I'm only one thin person so can't speak for everyone, but I eat a smallish amount each day such as a flatbread with spiced veg and chicken, a slice of toast with nut butter, or a serving of pasta every 3 days, etc.

I agree that we might see it differently, I never get crashes or sugar drops after toast or pasta. I am full till later in the day. I wonder if some people's bodies process carbs differently? I don't know. I recall one overweight poster saying if she ate one slice of toast for breakfast she was impelled to eat the rest of the loaf before lunch. That struck me as unusual, but I can only image we both process bread very differently.

I think you’re right but If you’re struggling with being overweight, it’s easy to form the perception that for some people it’s effortless. And as you say it’s easy to be judgemental (as if that’s necessary) about the causes of being overweight.
As a bigger person my main bugbear is when slim people try to involve me in conversations about their weight - woe is me, I need to lose 2 pounds etc. That’s not strictly what you’re talking about I know.

This is true, but I do think as a culture we are antagonistic and weird about food intake.
It doesn't bother me personally, but I do notice it is a view that persists online.

I also agree with the poster who said larger people suffer far worse judgement, it's utterly dreadful.

The GP once told me to do some gentle walking

I absolutely read that with an N in walking and suddenly this thread was much more interesting!

I think that people judge others by what they know of themselves (fairly naturally). So if I'm overweight because I'm addicted to sugar and high fat food and a bloody love the stuff, I assume that someone who is opposite to me in weight (slim/skinny) is opposite to me in food preferences - that she doesn't crave sugar in the way I do, or doesn't enjoy high fat foods in the way I do. That's why I'm fat and she's thin.

As an overweight person, I want the excuse. I look like this because I don't have that kind of brain / personality/ metabolism that skinny people have. They aren't better than me, aren't more disciplined than me, making better choices than me - they are just built different from me. I got the shitty end of the stick, they got a total lack of sugar cravings and genuinely enjoy eating salad and would choose it over a baked camembert anyway. It's bollocks, but it lets me off the hook.

Again I will have to respectfully disagree, i think many, many people are focused on food and what others eat.

Lovely, which one was that? If i dont eat something it is because I either dont like it, or it affects my bowels.

I'm torn because on one hand I absolutely know slim people who do not care about food or might get excited about it a few times a year (Christmas dinner or a special meal out every few months) and I know slim people who love food but they are very selective with what they eat and how much of it.
If you love something you usually indulge in it so much so I don't think you love it more than staying slim or enough to be indulging all the time.

People really do make assumptions about everything..like that you must be a great cook or love food just because you are fat. Sometimes that weight came from convenience food and emotional 'stuffing' rather than happy enjoyable gourmand experiences. There might bulimia or love hate relationship but the body just shows someone that eats a lot so people assume you love food so much when it might actually be the bane of your life and even an addiction.

Hiding annoying threads is a huge blessing on MN.