To be irked by this presumption about slim people?

[lolliwillowes]

I've seen a lot of threads on MN over the years discussing weight and diets, and they are often filled with statements such as "all of the slim people I know don't care about food, don't talk about it and use it only as fuel"

I can only speak for myself, ultimately, but I don't know one slim person who doesn't care about food. There is also a presumption that very slim people, especially over the age of 35 are all on strict, joyless diet regimes. It simply isn't true. Many, many people over 35 enjoy healthy, balanced and tasty meals, involving snacks, moderate alcohol use and the occasional junk treat. Perhaps 'moderate' is the word but not always!, but slenderness over 35 is NOT always intentional.

There are of course similar, ignorant presumptions about overweight/obese people, which describe them as lacking in willpower (I think overweight people have fucking awesome willpower a lot of the time, more so than I, and few people appreciate that fact).

But the idea that slim/thin individuals derive no pleasure from food is incredibly ignorant. Perhaps it is difficult to understand if one is constantly trying to loose weight and struggling, it must seem like a slender person is suffering too to achieve their weight?

It simply doesn't work like that, even though there are thin people who count every morsel and claim they have to fight to keep weight off - this is not a fast rule as we age. I think many different factors affect appetite, from gut biome to metabolism, and no two people are the same. I am late 40's and struggle sometimes to keep weight on, but I love my food with the same sensual pleasure that others do who are all different body sizes.

I just don't think we can make assumptions about what goes on with anyone's body. It is as ignorant as claiming all fat people are lazy, which we know is utter hogwash.

I once mentioned in a thread about carbs that I enjoyed a small amount every odd day, that I ate intuitively and enjoyed my meals - and was accused by several in the thread of fooling myself, that I was possibly even disordered because I was 1 lb underweight. Nobody would accept that I enjoyed pasta and toasted sourdough, that I didn't have to work my arse off to stay slim. Likewise, I feel it is wrong to presume a larger person shovels junk down every week. We are all just so, so different. What works for one won't work for another. The west is obsessed with restriction and exclusion of entire food groups and it doesn't bode well. But the persistent view of slim people living austere, joyless lives is not only insulting, it betrays a certain anger towards them, too.

Exactly!

It's kinda true for me, I like food but am not a big eater, I don't think about it alot

Lol! yes, maths also not my strong point. To gain a pound you need to eat an excess 3500 calories so they say (again, I would argue on that point some of us gain more easily than that) but anyway, going with the 3500 calories for now.

To gain 1 pound a year for 30 years you need to eat 30 x 3500 excess calories = 105,000 excess calories.

There are 10,950 days in 30 years. 105,000 divided by 10,950 = 9.589.

So I became obese by consuming 9.5 excess calories per day, not 10 per week.

Sorry about that!

I am slim and am a raging foodie. I have a crazy sweet tooth and am also an emotional eater. 20 years ago, the doctor told me I obese according to my BMI. I lost stones in weight until I was a size 8, and have pretty much maintained that every day.

I don't exercise enough but I like cooking from scratch, have learned to enjoy fresh produce and I very rarely eat anything processed. I have learned to sit with feelings of hunger if it's nearly meal time or I have a snack of fruit or a babybel. Sometimes I have a coffee to tide me over. I don't drink alcohol and my favourite drink is water. I eat full fat dairy products but factor them into my daily calories. I eat out once a week and don't restrict myself and don't buy sweets or crisps so they aren't in the house.

I love food and put my heart and soul into interesting, balanced meals with lots of flavour and freshness. My husband, who is also a foodie, also loves my cooking. There doesn't have to be a conflict between enjoying food and enjoying health. Not all slim people eat just grilled chicken and asparagus every day. In fact I love a challenge: I ask my hubby what he feels like and make a healthy version of it from scratch. So it is an effort, but I enjoy it and it's worth it (not just to be slim but to have a rich, varied and nutrient-dense diet).

Kindly Op, you do sound like one of those quite obsessed with food and eating habits. There are a good few others around. But the idea everyone on mumsnet thinks that all slim people aren’t bothered about food is.. mental.

😂This is honestly the funniest thing I have ever read on here.

An extra 10 calories a day won't make you obese.

So I became obese by consuming 9.5 excess calories per day, not 10 per week.

Sorry but that is utter bollocks. A medium apple is about 50-70 calories. Are you honestly saying you went from a healthy weight to obese purely but eating 1/5 of an apple a day?? That's ludicrous! It sounds like an excuse to me - it's not my fault I became obese, I only overate by ten cal a day. Nonsense.

It really beggars belief that someone honestly believes this and is trying to justify it!

It's simple maths. Gain 1lb a year over 30 years and you become obese. 3500 calories = 1lb fat. Therefore you can become obese by eating 3500 calories too many in a year over many years.

I'm not trying to make any sort of excuse but I actually AM one of those people who has slowly gained 30lb over 30 years. If I was a big over-eater don't you think it would be more than 30lb by now? Lots of people gain 5 to 7 lb over Christmas or on holiday!

It would depend on other factors such as how often you exercise, and the type.

I am overweight. Looking at my slim friends (the ones whose habits I know well) they tend to:

• not binge; be able to stop at one portion of something, not go mad at a buffet
• stop eating when full even if it means leaving food
• have normal portions unless v hungry
• have treats, but not eg cake every day
• choose healthy food most of the time
• sometimes miss a meal if v busy
• go between meals without snacking most of the time
• do all the above without thinking so naturally regulate their eating

I don't have the above habits, hence I am overweight!

Some don't eat much carbs, only once a day or something.

In short, the more I learn about slim people's lifestyles, the more I understand why they are slim and I am not!

I'm slim not skinny. Someone I used to work with regularly called me Anorexic Annie, which is offensive to those with anorexia as well as to me. Skinny Minnie is another regular.

Those people who mean a comment about being slim as a compliment say so straightforwardly. The name calling tends to be to try to make you feel bad about yourself, and the thought behind it is to try to get you to put on weight - often because the person saying it is overweight and they want you to be like them.

This is absolutely the answer for MOST people . I don't doubt there are exceptions occasionally as some posters have explained .

I am late 40's and struggle sometimes to keep weight on

I once mentioned in a thread about carbs that I enjoyed a small amount every odd day

The reason you're slim is because you eat a small amount of carbs every few days. And if that works for you, that's great.

But I don't think you should pretend that your low consumption of carbs is not the reason why you struggle to keep weight on.

I think that this post is fairly accurate. The one thing that it fails to mention, however, is the way people bodies and minds vary.

I believe that on all these points people have natural tendencies which make it highly likely that they will end up where they end up on the skinny / slim / above slim but 100% normal and healthy / slightly overweight / overweight / obese spectrum.

Some people find it harder to leave food (perhaps due to childhood poverty, or pressure from parents) others find it easier. Some people feel full quicker, others can always have a bit more. Some people find it easy to eat a treat every other day only, others find it very hard to resist after a meal if it's on hand.

To a large extent I believe that most people go around at their "natural weight" and it is simply luck of the draw whether your natural weight is slim or otherwise. Obviously there is a large element of personal choice and dedication too... but then again whether you can exercise every day (for example) comes down to luck in terms of lifestyle and luck in terms of how much you enjoy and how your body reacts to it. I should definitely exercise more for all round health, but as part of weight loss I find exercise pointless! I can tend towards being a bit greedy, but if I do some proper exercise I finish it and am ready for a massive massive meal!

You only need to watch an episode of Secret Eaters to see how deluded people are.

"I have no idea why I'm so fat! I only have an apple and a glass of water for breakfast!"

Then it shows them stopping at the garage on the way to work for a donut and a big frothy, milky coffee. Colleague brings in a birthday cake and they have a massive slice, with another latte. I genuinely think many people just outright block out the reality of how many calories they consume.

Many people also overestimate how much exercise they do. A colleague of mine swears it's not fair she's fat because she spends an hour in the gym every day. We go to the same gym. She walks slowly on the treadmill and then sits in the steam room for about half an hour. She sees what I do (2K sprint on treadmill, rowing machine, leg press, leg extension, shoulder press, pull-ups on bar, free weights, sets of 10 burpees/sit ups/push ups, sometimes multiple reps) and she sincerely seems to believe that what she does is equivalent, and is mystified as to why she isn't losing weight. Like she actually says things like 'you're so lucky to be slim when you don't really do any more than I do'. The delusion is incredible.

I can't believe there's at least 2 people on here arguing that gaining a pound a year doesn't happen because of a calorie surplus 😂

@Gymnopedie I agree. In fact, I've seen one most unpleasant commenter on this thread referring to skinny people as having bodies like that of a "10 year old boy", as if she couldn't think of anything more original to say. We've all heard that one before! I honestly wish these skinny-shamers who are oh so not jealous would come up with some better insults, it's boring having the same ones lazily regurgitated. There's nothing wrong with loving the size you are, there is a lot wrong with being bitter and twisted enough to call someone names due to their body size, whatever size they are.

Its hard to imagine someone who genuinely loves their own body going out of their way to insult someone else's. If they feel they're so much more attractive, then surely out of decency they wouldn't even mention it? You wouldn't go up to someone and say 'I'm prettier than you' if you thought you were. So why would a larger woman tell a smaller woman she had a better body than her? Bizarre.

I don't think slim people are disordered in their eating. I usually think the opposite - that they've got the balance right between intake and exercise. I think most people are somewhat dissatisfied with their bodies. Some slim people wish they had more curves (in the right places), or that they had slimmer ankles, whiter teeth whatever and overweight people wish they were slimmer (and had whiter teeth etc).
Some people find it easier to be a good weight than others - that's biology. Some have developed unhealthy relationship with food - heavy and slim people. Some people don't think twice about it and are at a good weight - I wish I was one of these people!

The GP once told me to do some gentle walking
@MsOllie this.Yes I am obese but in two separate consultations GPs have pissed me right off.
GP 1. Do some gentle exercise.
Gp2. When I said I walked. " It must be brisk"
My exercise of choice is walking Ulta Marathons.
I train regularly on hills and never do less than 10K steps per day. Most days nearer 10 miles.
Not quite sure have a Gp could think that walking 50K in one go was pointless unless brisk.
Truth being they just see an obese person and think lazy and thick as they than go on about junk food.
My recent Wright gain is more down to stress and MH issues which are at least party related to worsening physical health which said GP contributed to IMO.

Weight not wright