To approach this mum with this warning?

[swimmingwiththefishes]

Ok so I would NEVER normally approach a mum and 'point something out' BUT,

It's a hot day here (26 when I went to the park earlier) and I took the dog out for a walk in my local park. Took DS2 who's 6 months.

As I walked around the park and across some fields, there were two mums sat having a picnic of some sorts in the sun (no shade).

One of the mums obviously had a baby for a nap in the pram (I assume baby as bassinet attachment). To create some shade she had taken two muslins and draped them over the opening of the bassinet and clipped them with pram clips across the openings.

I'm pretty sure that this creates a hothouse type effect and can be quite dangerous. I actually had DS2 also napping and had a snuzshade draped over to stop the sunlight creeping in (black thin material with air holes to create shade but let the air flow).

I ummed and errd but decided I had to say something so really thought about the least offensive way to say it (I'm sure I could have found better!!).

Below is the convo. My friend thinks I was totally out of order to do this but I think I couldn't in good conscious not say anything

Me; gosh, it's soooo hot today isn't it? Nice to have some sun but poor little ones get so hot
Mum: oh yes, we're enjoying being able to get some sun!
Me: I'm not sure if it's helpful but I've found these snuzshade things really good as they let the air in so much more lightweight and breathable than muslins.
Mum: what do you mean?
Me: sorry, it's just I've read that muslins don't let the air through so can make babies hotter so I just thought I'd mention how great I've found this product as not sure if you're aware?
Mum: tell you what? Why don't you fuck right off and leave us the fuck alone
Me: ok, I'm literally trying to stop your child from overheating, that's all. Look it up.

I told my friend about the above convo and she said I probably came across as patronising and interfering. Yup, I probably did come across like that but that poor baby was probably roasting in there!

I'm sure I could have approached it better but WIBU?

You were patronising and interfering.

It sounds to me like you were trying to sell them a product.

I know it’s dangerous to have the muslins like that, as you say, but it’s never going to be well received.

Honestly, when it comes to a child's health I'd have done the same. You did your part.

*I don't know if the blanket thing is true.

I think you were fine saying what you did. She was incredibly rude. If she didn’t want your advice she could have just smiled and said ‘ok’. I didn’t know this about muslins with my first ten years ago. If someone had said what you had, my response would have been ‘really?! Oh! Thanks’

You were saying the right thing but usually people don't like to be corrected, even if they're roasting their baby.

I see so many parents do this, even thick blankets clicked on but I wouldn’t say anything personally

What you told them is true - it’s dangerous.
Maybe they will research it now themselves.

You tried- she might look it up and then her baby will be cooler/safer.

She was really rude; you weren’t.

I mean you should t have been walking your dog in that heat either so…

Yep.

Yeah patronising. Also did you know it's too hot to walk a dog in that temperature, dogs overheat easily as they don't sweat only pant and very hot pavements can burn their pads. Best to walk them very early or very late this weather.

Yes you were patronising and why are you taking your dog out in that heat too.

I don't think you were patronising and interfering. Babies over heat quickly which is why it's not advised to drape things over prams and car seats like that because you are trapping in the heat

Hopefully she'll google it

You'd have been better to just say that you had heard that two muslins wrapped like that can cause a greenhouse effect and increase the temperature... as it was, you probably got typecast as both judging them, AND trying to sell them something.

If you recounted that, it'd almost certainly be "a weird woman tried to sell us a snuzshade."

As an aside, I'd also heard a blanket over the pram can cause the effect but our health visitor said two muslins clipped together was okay; as the gap between the two would let the air through. We've never done it and I have no idea if it's true, but she may have been told the same thing...

But you'd have been better to just make her aware so she could check his temperature, rather than criticized.

Ffs, OP you were right to advise her! Sadly there is no kinder way to express this as you're openly going against someone's parenting decision, which is usually never well received, obviously

If I was her (and I didn't want your advice or believe you for example), I'd have just said 'Oh, I didn't know. thanks for that'

I’m sure you meant well but I’m 100% not surprised they told you to fuck off.

You were right and only looking out for a baby. I wouldn't take it to heart, she probably just felt defensive and maybe a bit stupid. People react oddly sometimes whiten they've inadvertently done something dangerous.

The snoozeshade is a great invention.

Did she ask you why you were walking your dog in 26 degree heat?

It sounds like you're trying to sell your snuzzlesheild or whatever the way you've said it

You were patronising, interfering and as much as I hate the vile term 'random man' used on here I think 'Go away random woman!' would have sufficed in this circumstance.

How you like being patronised yourself now OP😉

I think you did the right thing OP but it’s never going to go down well. Hopefully she will look it up and realise how dangerous it is. I hope her baby is ok.

The op

Totally agree on the dog front and I normally take him much much earlier on hot days but had doctors appt first thing with DS2 after dropping DS1 at nursery so was the first opportunity. We walked thought the fields and then along the river where he wades in it so was cool and wet. But completely agree it's not the norm to go that late!

And your poor dogs feet!