To approach this mum with this warning?

[swimmingwiththefishes]

Ok so I would NEVER normally approach a mum and 'point something out' BUT,

It's a hot day here (26 when I went to the park earlier) and I took the dog out for a walk in my local park. Took DS2 who's 6 months.

As I walked around the park and across some fields, there were two mums sat having a picnic of some sorts in the sun (no shade).

One of the mums obviously had a baby for a nap in the pram (I assume baby as bassinet attachment). To create some shade she had taken two muslins and draped them over the opening of the bassinet and clipped them with pram clips across the openings.

I'm pretty sure that this creates a hothouse type effect and can be quite dangerous. I actually had DS2 also napping and had a snuzshade draped over to stop the sunlight creeping in (black thin material with air holes to create shade but let the air flow).

I ummed and errd but decided I had to say something so really thought about the least offensive way to say it (I'm sure I could have found better!!).

Below is the convo. My friend thinks I was totally out of order to do this but I think I couldn't in good conscious not say anything

Me; gosh, it's soooo hot today isn't it? Nice to have some sun but poor little ones get so hot
Mum: oh yes, we're enjoying being able to get some sun!
Me: I'm not sure if it's helpful but I've found these snuzshade things really good as they let the air in so much more lightweight and breathable than muslins.
Mum: what do you mean?
Me: sorry, it's just I've read that muslins don't let the air through so can make babies hotter so I just thought I'd mention how great I've found this product as not sure if you're aware?
Mum: tell you what? Why don't you fuck right off and leave us the fuck alone
Me: ok, I'm literally trying to stop your child from overheating, that's all. Look it up.

I told my friend about the above convo and she said I probably came across as patronising and interfering. Yup, I probably did come across like that but that poor baby was probably roasting in there!

I'm sure I could have approached it better but WIBU?

What on earth

That conversation is like something from undateables

I am like you Op. If I see a child or an animal in potential danger I find it hard not to say anything.
I was once on a train and it was ROASTING hot. This mum had a baby in a thick winter onesie suit, like an outdoor snow suit. We were in T-shirts and hot.
She was crying her eyes out and was hot and flustered, really red face.

I said ‘my word it’s hot on here isn’t it, do you think maybe she’s hot?’
she said she had a cold and she wanted her to ‘sweat it out’ the poor thing was so distressed. She took it well and I left it there. But I think you’re getting a hard time Op.

She's explained about the bloody dog several times now!!

Yes it was unsolicited advice which is rarely going to come across un-irritating but you politely mentioned something that could have been causing the baby to overheat there and then, not interfering in her choices on screen time.

I think looking out for others is the right thing to do and should be acknowledged graciously or can be headed off without telling someone to fuck off. You couldn't tell a work know it all to fuck off, so why be that aggressive someone in the park?

Other people are going to be annoying at times, aggression isn't a good solution.

A Muslin is absolutely fine to use as shade. If she had a sheepskin liner with a thick fleece blanket over the top and you could see a thermos of soup sticking out the bassinet then maybe.

Glad everyone else has pointed out the hypocrisy of the dog walk!

Yes that's exactly the same thing

OP was patronising and interfering. And she was also risking being abused and insulted and potentially even assaulted for no reason whatsoever other that she wanted the best for another woman's baby.

OP should be proud of herself. If she could have tried to do the right thing in a way that didn;t look at all patronising or interfering then I'm sure she would have.

is this your first baby?

I would have judged you for walking your dog in the heat.

This is utter rubbish, it’s absolutely fine to walk your dog with the pram if you know you can control your dog

How do people think dogs manage when they live in a really hot country? They are fine as long as they aren't kept out long and not walked on the pavement

She said she normally doesn't go that late? Great the bloody dog will remember that in future.

And you would have been right to...as I have said just a few times!!

No, second baby which is why I know how quickly they can heat up

I can’t believe you took your dog out on a day like today, that’s far more irresponsible.

Muslins are fine. You were interfering and I would have told you to fuck off too.

Personally my dog would have missed a walk then and Id have waited til it cooled right down, and taken her for her usual evening walk, no way would she be getting walked in that heat with a paddle in the river or not.

She would be let outside in garden/yard for toilet needs and people I know who don't have yard or garden just do a quick leashed walk to end of street or back.

I think you could have just approached the mum and said something about the risks but without the snuzzleshield stuff because she may well have thought you were like an mlm rep who are known for for making stuff to sell their products. YANBU to care about a child's safety but YABU walk your dog in those temps. That mum sounds like she wasn't aware of the risks of heat and baby, you are aware of the risks of walking dogs in that heat and chose to do it anyway.

I agree you should have said something but the way you said it was patronising I would have said (and have in the past) . "Sorry to bother you but I noticed your cover on the pram, it can be really dangerous as can caus baby to overheat. I just wanted to tell you." And walk on.

If you would have told me that I would have been incredibly greatful if I wasn’t aware of that….I actually think good on you to try abs do something helpful and to try to be tactful - I think she was rude and a bit of a dick. Completely different to lecturing someone on their parenting choices that may have not been ‘best practice’ but wouldn’t cause immediate harm to a baby x

When I was in the domrep my mum did this with my nephew and a bar man come over and tould her not to. She was so thankful as she didn’t realise.

You're getting a really hard time on here! ...as a first time mum, I'd appreciate if someone informed me of this - even if I did know already. There was no need for her rudeness.

Your action, and posting on here, could have ultimately saved a life. Screw it if it came across as interfering 👏👏👏

Black absorbs heat, whereas white reflects it so that shows immediately that the manufacturers haven't really done basic research into this product.
That alone would make me very sceptical about it.

But yes, the whole OP comes across as advertising because why else would they bother mention the name rather than just an alternative in general.

If you thought the babies health was at risk then you 100% did the right thing by saying something.

All she had to do was say thanks for the advice but the baby is fine instead of being a complete arsehole about it.

How difficult was it for her to say thanks but not thanks.

And to all those saying OP should not walk their dog. A dog is much better able to regulate their body temperature than a new baby and knows when to try and seek shade, stop running or whatever. That baby would have been able to do nothing about their immediate environment.

Good on you for saying something.

I'm old. Parasols were what was used when ds was a baby. Don't think I saw anyone cover their prams with Muslins or blankets until the last 10 years or so. Just seemed totally daft anyway even before I knew it was dangerous.

@Glitterspy Abolitelu fine, judge away (rightly) on the dog but muslins are NOT fine. Even a cursory internet search will warn you of increase SIDS risk

Just a random one below

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/15640291/dangerous-heatwave-hacks-parents-prams-hosepipe/amp/

You may think adding a cloth over your pram will help give your baby shade, but it could cause temperature to dangerously rise.
Parents-of-two JK and Charlie carried out two controlled testss_ over two seven-minute time spans.
On one occasion the pram, which contained a doll, was covered by a muslin cloth and on one occasion it was not

Over a period of seven minutes, when left open and uncovered, the pram heated up from 23.3 degrees to 29.9 degrees - an increase of just over 6.5 degrees.
But over the same amount of time, when covered by a muslin cloth, the pram heated up from 22.0 degrees to a sweltering 35.1 degrees - heating up by 13 degrees.

Only on mn would people be more bothered about the dog

Mad, isn't it? I've been rolling my eyes throughout this thread.

Nothing new to those of us who simply put pram hoods up without buying silly contraptions not much better than muslins. Maybe the lady will advise you of this next time you give her lip without checking your facts

You tried but it wasn't taken as a good intention.

No need to worry about it &, you never know, she might realise later that your suggestion is better for the baby.