To approach this mum with this warning?

[swimmingwiththefishes]

Ok so I would NEVER normally approach a mum and 'point something out' BUT,

It's a hot day here (26 when I went to the park earlier) and I took the dog out for a walk in my local park. Took DS2 who's 6 months.

As I walked around the park and across some fields, there were two mums sat having a picnic of some sorts in the sun (no shade).

One of the mums obviously had a baby for a nap in the pram (I assume baby as bassinet attachment). To create some shade she had taken two muslins and draped them over the opening of the bassinet and clipped them with pram clips across the openings.

I'm pretty sure that this creates a hothouse type effect and can be quite dangerous. I actually had DS2 also napping and had a snuzshade draped over to stop the sunlight creeping in (black thin material with air holes to create shade but let the air flow).

I ummed and errd but decided I had to say something so really thought about the least offensive way to say it (I'm sure I could have found better!!).

Below is the convo. My friend thinks I was totally out of order to do this but I think I couldn't in good conscious not say anything

Me; gosh, it's soooo hot today isn't it? Nice to have some sun but poor little ones get so hot
Mum: oh yes, we're enjoying being able to get some sun!
Me: I'm not sure if it's helpful but I've found these snuzshade things really good as they let the air in so much more lightweight and breathable than muslins.
Mum: what do you mean?
Me: sorry, it's just I've read that muslins don't let the air through so can make babies hotter so I just thought I'd mention how great I've found this product as not sure if you're aware?
Mum: tell you what? Why don't you fuck right off and leave us the fuck alone
Me: ok, I'm literally trying to stop your child from overheating, that's all. Look it up.

I told my friend about the above convo and she said I probably came across as patronising and interfering. Yup, I probably did come across like that but that poor baby was probably roasting in there!

I'm sure I could have approached it better but WIBU?

Dogs in Texas are used to that heat

Dogs in England are not. They are at more risk

I'd never heard of this! And I might have found you patronising and annoying and reacted similarly. Then I would have got home and googled it and stopped doing it but still thought you were an arse.

I get where you're coming from and I'm sure you're not an arse but I know I would have been defensive having a stranger randomly criticise my parenting after pretending to be making friendly chit chat.

Can't believe I've raised two kids without knowing this though! I'm not sure I ever draped anything over but if I did, they've survived unscathed.

I would have reported her to the police for child endangerment

Maybe make sure the alternative you are suggesting is actually safer though. That which thing doesn't suggest its a good idea either

In fairness, I am often an arse....

I think you were right to say something. It's hard to know all the safety guidelines for babies/children and I appreciate when people let me know if I am doing something that could harm my baby. Perhaps she went home and researched it and realised you were right and now won't do that again, thus possibly saving her baby in the future.

Perhaps you could have worded it better but
well done for having the balls to try and potentially save a baby’s life

@worraliberty Genuinely, why can't I walk the dog while out with the pram? DDog has fantastic recall and walks to heel amazingly when going by other dogs on lead.

Can I not walk the dog while out with the baby?

I would have siad I hate ro come across as interfering but doing that with the mussies could be really dangerous for your babies … then hopefully go on to explain why …..

It was a nice and kind gesture you was trying to do, especially if the worst case happened and the little one became ill, sometimes I weep for humanity.

I didnt know it was dangerous

a better approach might have been "sorry to interrupt, but only last week I read that babies can overheat because the hot air gathers. I had no idea, so just thought i'd mention it. Oh how old is he? He's adorable"

Me too. So patronising.

Why do you keep mentioning the product by brand name?

Is this some shit attempt at an undercover sales pitch? 🙄

She told you to fuck off because she felt you were criticising her parenting and felt blind sided I expect.

But she might have a Google when she gets home and realise you were right and might not do it again.

So good on you I say.

You tried OP. "Doing nothing is tantamount to collusion". Not sure who said that but basically it means that letting something bad happen - or thinking it might happen - without trying to stop it makes you a part of it.

I don't think you could have been more polite but no good deed goes unpunished. I'd really appreciate that sort of advice as I'd never heard that before but some people can't take anything that could in any way be perceived as criticism no matter how constructive - they generally have zero self esteem. That's not your fault or your problem so I wouldn't worry about it.

I think you did the right thing. Better to tell her and she educates herself and stops the baby over heating. Downside is she's super shit to you but at least you did something.

YANBU. You were well intentioned and concerned for the safety of a baby. She was rude.

Heck now I want to buy a snuzshade and I don't even have a pram?!🤔

You can't help some people. She sounds like an absolute Yahoo.

Of course, you did the right thing. If she had taken your advice, then she might have made her baby safer and more comfortable.

She felt patronised...so what...a baby's safety is more important then her fragile ego.

However, when you're thick and in the mould of Waynetta Slob, you will be unable to take any advice without being insulted because advice equals being patronized in their lizard eyes!

I think that was nice of you. I don't think her response was unreasonable as such since everyone and her dog tells you what to do when you have a baby and it's irritating but still think it was decent of you. Modern parenting is hard.

👏🏻 My master plan is working. Nearly at my gate for commission l👏🏻

You did nothing wrong.
No good deed goes unpunished - I read that on here and it's so true, sadly.
The messenger gets shot.
But hopefully she'll check out the info you gave and be grateful to a kind stranger.

Children have died from parents covering prams with blankets and covers so I think you did the right thing. If it stops a child from getting unwell or worse, I honestly don't give a fuck if I offend people 🤷‍♀️
It seems everyone else would happily let a baby cook just to not come across patronising.
You're definitely not in the wrong here 😂

You took your dog out in 26 degrees and you were lecturing other people?