To approach this mum with this warning?

[swimmingwiththefishes]

Ok so I would NEVER normally approach a mum and 'point something out' BUT,

It's a hot day here (26 when I went to the park earlier) and I took the dog out for a walk in my local park. Took DS2 who's 6 months.

As I walked around the park and across some fields, there were two mums sat having a picnic of some sorts in the sun (no shade).

One of the mums obviously had a baby for a nap in the pram (I assume baby as bassinet attachment). To create some shade she had taken two muslins and draped them over the opening of the bassinet and clipped them with pram clips across the openings.

I'm pretty sure that this creates a hothouse type effect and can be quite dangerous. I actually had DS2 also napping and had a snuzshade draped over to stop the sunlight creeping in (black thin material with air holes to create shade but let the air flow).

I ummed and errd but decided I had to say something so really thought about the least offensive way to say it (I'm sure I could have found better!!).

Below is the convo. My friend thinks I was totally out of order to do this but I think I couldn't in good conscious not say anything

Me; gosh, it's soooo hot today isn't it? Nice to have some sun but poor little ones get so hot
Mum: oh yes, we're enjoying being able to get some sun!
Me: I'm not sure if it's helpful but I've found these snuzshade things really good as they let the air in so much more lightweight and breathable than muslins.
Mum: what do you mean?
Me: sorry, it's just I've read that muslins don't let the air through so can make babies hotter so I just thought I'd mention how great I've found this product as not sure if you're aware?
Mum: tell you what? Why don't you fuck right off and leave us the fuck alone
Me: ok, I'm literally trying to stop your child from overheating, that's all. Look it up.

I told my friend about the above convo and she said I probably came across as patronising and interfering. Yup, I probably did come across like that but that poor baby was probably roasting in there!

I'm sure I could have approached it better but WIBU?

You should audition for the apprentice, it sounds like a crap pitch for a shade attachment. Maybe the logo should be brown and green too!
No wonder she was less than impressed.

@BatshitBanshee case in point!

Yes, yes, I agree as I have said several times: that's the great thing about information-someone's tells you something you didn't know and you change your behaviour! Im thankful to the poster who sent the article.

But, im absolutely not going to stop approaching mums with prams covering all openings with muslins as they may not be aware. Muslins can increase temps by 13 degrees (and snoozeshade are no better which I now know). So I'll continue being a cunt and telling mums this but adjust my approach with some of the suggestions other posters have given me. 👍🏻

I would love to see an AIBU from the other mother's point of view. I'm sure everyone would say how cheeky and interfering the unsolicited advice giver was, but no need to swear at her.

There's no way dragons den would see me with a pitch like that. Although I'd love to meet Peter Jones as I think he's weirdly dishy

You were trying to be helpful but sounded a bit patronising however probably wouldnt have mattered how you'd have said it. Outcome probably would've been the same.

And yes with dogs if you place your hand on the footpath and its too hot for your hand then its too hot for your dogs paws. Just saying....

I think it's more the delivery than the message. Your delivery was odd and I can see why offence was taken.

You were right to tell her.

I also think it is very hot for dogs or toddlers or babies being out in the hot sun.

If it was a fake post to advertise the snooze shade it’s well & truly backfired.

😂 Absolutely!! I'd now assume this was started by some rival product to discredit snoozeshade!

YABU. Unsolicited advice about how to care for one’s baby is the WORST!! The risks of muslins over prams are overblown, and your product is just another overpriced gimmick with similar effects. The baby’s mum had probably done her own risk assessment and was no doubt monitoring the temperature in the pram (just as you did your own risk assessment about walking your dog).

Also the way you made your point was sooo patronising and awkward. Next time you want to tell another mum she’s harming her baby and you know better, at least have the curtesy to be upfront/ direct about it.

She shouldn’t have sworn at you though- that was really rude (even though I don’t blame her for wanting to).

You can still buy a parasol for a pram for under a tenner on Amazon, are they a no no now?

You were patronising, yes she shouldn't have used muslins because it is dangerous, but the way you said it would have put most people's back up.

Maybe she'll do her own research now because of what you said, but you also need to do research on being a responsible dog owner because you shouldn't be taking a dog out when it's 26 degrees outside!

The last few days I have seen this so much, I don’t get how they don’t know how dangerous it is they must be totally thick, I’m sorry but it’s more than common knowledge at this point.

I saw a lady yesterday with a big thick cardigan wrapped over the hood and tucked all around the seat, the baby must have been sweating, I was and I was wearing a summer dress.

Then saw the same so many times as I was out and about, I just can’t believe that people think it’s safe.

And that Snuzshade is about the ugliest thing Iv seen for a baby accessory 😂

I have never heard this! I would never have reacted like she did but I would have found how you approached it odd. Appreciate that it's really hard to think of in the moment but saying not sure you're aware sounds judgemental. Don't beat yourself up you tried your best.

They were rude to swear at you. There should be more put out there at drs etc about the right sort of shade for babies in prams.

Pretty sure this thread is just an ad. There's always some new bollocks product to be sold to gullible new parents. You really don't need one, especially not in the UK.

This shade sounds just as bad as a muslin cloth (which doesn't protect from sun anyway).

A parasol is best or just position your pram hood for shade.

And I don't believe for one minute the events in the OP actually happened. Who walks up to another mum and starts advocating for the latest baby product and telling them they are doing it wrong?!

People do this all the time. Yet we don't hear of babies dying from it like we do, say, babies left in cars.

Are you sure it's dangerous and not the result one poorly done but well promoted experiment by someone with a vested interest in getting people to buy parasols or something?

Are you sure it's dangerous and not the result one poorly done but well promoted experiment by someone with a vested interest in getting people to buy parasols or something?

www.abc.net.au/news/2019-01-17/pram-covers-can-overheat-children-safety-experts-warn/10721062

That's not exactly making the case is it?

A wooley shout out to unknown research by the operations manager of a nonprofit (whose standing relies on it having something to tell people not to do, though I don't doubt they're well intentioned).

No overview of all research done on the subject. No peer reviewed paper. Not even the name of the institution the research was undertaken by, let alone the names of who funded it and whether or not it was registered before it was undertaken to hedge against gaming the system. No statistics on the harm that is suffered. Just a vague reference to "research".

Your heart was in the right place your execution was a bit patronising.
Please also be careful with snuzshades they also heat up in high temps although not as much I was surprised when I stuck my hand in.
We ended up getting a insect/UV shade when travelling for if its over 20ish degrees, anything over 28 we use a parasol and pram fan so not covered

This.

Unless I thought that the mother might have become violent with me then I would have done the same. But I would have said that I used to use muslins until someone told me that it could be dangerous to make her think that you had done the same thing.

Of course what you did was the right thing to do.

That sucks but hopefully she will secretly go online tonight and order one or those breathable Sun shades from Amazon tonight ;)

For all these people talking about the dog, FFS! That baby could have died because of overheating. @swimmingwiththefishes did the right thing. I hope the mother at least checked the baby afterwards, and remembers what was said in the future.