To not want to drive my friends car

[Sundaycoffee]

I am going on holiday next week with friends (within the UK).
The holiday is booked and paid for and we were going to use my friends car to do the 4 hour drive.
I am the only other driver in the party of 4 and now it has been sprung upon me that the drive needs to be split between me and my friend.
I drive a small car and hers is bigger so it's not an option to use mine and generally I am quite nervous in cars I am not familiar with, especially for such a long drive.
I would honestly rather drive the full way in my own car but it is not big enough for us all to fit in.
I have mentioned that I really don't feel comfortable driving the car. There will also be two other people plus a dog in the car.
We did a trip earlier this year year and I drove us there and back (albeit a shorter 2 hour journey each way) so it's not like I haven't done my share before.

Since I've mentioned it my other friend attending (non driver!) She has told me I'm being unreasonable and it's not fair to expect me not to split the drive and its caused a bit of awkwardness.

I just wish this had been discussed before booking and now I feel a little trapped into doing something I don't feel comfortable doing.

AIBU?

Get in the car , kangaroo it a bit , crunch the gears and exclaim “ wow that was a bit close “ a few times and she’ll soon ask you to get out and drive herself 😆

I don't think YABU at all. We have a Kia Sportage, and I'm fine with it now but it took me a while to get used to it as I only drove my own little Audi before that.

I wouldn't agree to this, even as a named driver. I've been in a non fault accident as a named driver and it's a massive pain in the bum and impacted both my insurance (had to declare an accident) and the policy owners insurance (had a claim).

Yes regularly. I live in The Westcountry. We have to drive a long way to get everywhere! 2 x 2hr stints is fine. Even my nearest John Lewis / IKEA is 2 hours away so that's 4 hours there and back.

Oh god I would hate this. Can you take two cars with a passenger each? The non driver can fuck off with their comments if they are not doing any of the driving.

Why would you risk driving it 3rd party though? What’s in it for Op. Third party in the days of £500 banger is one thing but I’m assuming friends large car will be worth thousands. Op crashes car, writes it off entirely her fault. Her own insurance goes up as she’s had a fault crash. Is her friend really going to say never mind I’ll just buy a new car what’s £20,000. Or is she going to expect Op to pay. If car is leased will finance company pursue Op she’s written off their car.

It's easy enough to get car insurance for 1 day. I don't see why it's such a big deal

I can drive other cars with owner’s consent however it’s only third party. I got thirty years experience but I wouldn’t drive someone else’s car with a dog in on a motorway, and the non drivers probably all chatting away ( unless it was a emergency or a make of car I have driven before a lot)

When I was added as a named driver to a friend's policy who I car share often with on holiday it actually was cheaper to add me permanently than it was to add me for a month, and it also brought the renewal down the following year

If it were me and it were sprung on me then yes, I wouldn't be happy.

I drive a fairly small car (Alfa Mito) and I'd be struggling to drive anything bigger without much practice.

When DB asks his DW (rare) to drive his Mercedes C class she often refuses as she's just got an old Vauxhall Corsa. He drives that more often than not!

Assuming is a pain too that someone will drive.

I've lost count of the amount of times someone assumed I would drive abroad (hate doing it but will do it if need be) if with friends. But I've had a South Korean friend and French, both who hadn't driven for a while and we shared driving together.

Yes.

Her insurance would increase because it is her insurance that paid the claim (assuming she added you as a named driver - as said above I wouldnt drive it otherwise) She would loose no claims bonus and then some more I'd guess.

and YOUR own car insurance would increase - because you as a driver had a recent accident - which you would need to make them aware of. You'd probably be looking at a 15-25% increase or more depending your age/ driving record.

Both your and her insurances would be 'loaded' for 5 years due to the claim.

Insurance third party, no way would I do that, what if you crash?

It’s not just a day though it’s there and back - . Op’s friend could price stand alone policy v adding Op to her fully comp policy but if I was Op I wouldn’t be doing running getting quotes around when I didn’t want to drive in first place.

agree with this

Oh grow up. The amount of posters on this site who will absolutely not push themselves out of their comfort zone for anything is absolutely astonishing. And then we wonder why so many people are claiming anxiety for getting out of the most mundane of tasks.

Sure if you're happy trundling along never improving or enhancing your life, or making someone else's that tiny bit easier because it might make you nervy for ten minutes, then crack on. But it's not 'nasty' or being an arsehole to point out that this is making a mountain out of a molehill.

They don't sound like very good friends tbh. Not everyone who drives is comfortable driving long distances, places they don't know or in cars that aren't their own. It's rude to assume that you will drive another car and a long way too.

I would stick firm if I was you. You're not comfortable driving your friend's car. Full stop. It's also strange that they would try and convince you. Why do they want someone to be responsible for the car who is nervous and uncomfortable?

It wouldn't bother me to drive my friend's car but what matters is that it bothers you. I think driving is too important to feel coerced into it. You need to be comfortable and confident. They shouldn't have assumed you would do. A 4-hr drive isn't an insurmountable amount of driving so it wasn't unreasonable for you to think they were going to do all the driving.
It's all a bit awkward now but it's not your fault.

Jesus. The people on here... The driving is a moot point really.

It's the attitude of the rest of the group and having it sprung on the op at the last minute.

Its not unreasonable for the op to assume seeing as how she did ALL the driving last time one person would do all the driving this time. And if the plan was to share that should have been made clear before so the op can make her own decision.

Their attitude stinks. And If this has caused bad feeling then id worry the whole trip would be like this.

Wonder if they're hoping you can drive so the car owner can have a drink every night too.

And I don't know enough about insurance to comment. But fucked if I was getting in a car I wasn't comfortable with and said I didn't want to drive and it had long term repercussions.

Last year the MOT on my car took longer than expected so the garage kindly leant me a car. It was a bit like the loaner car in The Mask. Actually smaller than my car but way more difficult to drive. Gear stick half way up the dash board, had to floor it to get it to move off anywhere, wouldn't have done more than 40 unless you'd chucked it off a cliff. But sometimes you have to adapt.

I would just practise in the other car, checking your insurance first. My insurance covers me for third party whatever car I drive, so long as it's with the owner's permission. You may find a bigger car easier than you think. Personally I find other drivers give you a bit more respect for a start. It is easier to have another driver around. May be quite unlikely but otherwise all the designated has to do is sprain an ankle, and you're all stranded.

I agree I wouldn’t be comfortable driving someone else’s car - just keep saying you did all the driving last time, this was never discussed and that you cannot drive her car. End of conversation.

And I agree with a PP - I would never assume someone was comfortable driving someone else's car. I have friends and family who'll happily drive whatever car I have. There are others who won't regardless of the size of the car. You're not in the minority. I think it's a pretty even split between drivers who drive anything and ones who much prefer to stick to their own vehicles.

Mine too, I specifically ask that question too each time I renew 💁

I’ve never driven 3rd party. Those who are happy to do so do you not worry? I suppose if you are wealthy and could easily bank transfer £££ to friend to cover damage it’s ok but what if not. Do you take view they knew you were 3rd party and if you damage it it’s their problem even if they are £15,000 out of pocket. I’d feel awful.

Yes, your premiums could increase. You should check your insurance, as not all policies include third party on other cars any more. That's probably the solution, tell her your insurance won't cover it, so she will have to add you to her policy.

Even if yours covers third party, that would only cover damage you caused to other vehicles, not the one you were driving. If another driver is responsible she would have to claim against their policy.