To not want to drive my friends car

[Sundaycoffee]

I am going on holiday next week with friends (within the UK).
The holiday is booked and paid for and we were going to use my friends car to do the 4 hour drive.
I am the only other driver in the party of 4 and now it has been sprung upon me that the drive needs to be split between me and my friend.
I drive a small car and hers is bigger so it's not an option to use mine and generally I am quite nervous in cars I am not familiar with, especially for such a long drive.
I would honestly rather drive the full way in my own car but it is not big enough for us all to fit in.
I have mentioned that I really don't feel comfortable driving the car. There will also be two other people plus a dog in the car.
We did a trip earlier this year year and I drove us there and back (albeit a shorter 2 hour journey each way) so it's not like I haven't done my share before.

Since I've mentioned it my other friend attending (non driver!) She has told me I'm being unreasonable and it's not fair to expect me not to split the drive and its caused a bit of awkwardness.

I just wish this had been discussed before booking and now I feel a little trapped into doing something I don't feel comfortable doing.

AIBU?

I still baffled about someone needing to split a 4 hour car journey in the first place tbh.

Not the same thing. "Yawning" and calling me names doesn't make your case in any way.

I am and have been afraid of things. I haven't criticised being afraid of things. The OP hasn't claimed to be afraid of driving large cars, she's claimed to be uncomfortable. That's something else I haven't criticised. Nothing at all unusual about being uncomfortable doing something you're unfamiliar with. Nothing lame about being uncomfortable with it either.

What's lame is letting that lack of familiarity or fear of the unknown stop you from gaining familiarity, stop you from learning, stop you from doing.

Encouraging people to give up on reasonably easy tasks because they aren't familiar with them and it makes them uncomfortable isn't being a "decent human being". Far from it.

There you go again belittling what you find easy and another finds hard. Encouraging people to give up on reasonably easy tasks
The thing is YOU find it easy, the OP does not hence why she has posted saying she feels uncomfortable doing it, she feels trapped, she has no prob driving her own car and had done it in the past and having voiced her concern, was shut down.

Driving in an unfamiliar car, much bigger than your own and being responsible for other people and a dog is HARD for some people. Personally it would terrify me. Am I lame?I would under no circumstances do it because of how uncomfortable I felt...am I lame? The fact I find this an incredibly hard task and you don't..am I lame? My husband drives a huge car while mine is small and I would be terrified to drive his, does that make me lame?

Your problem is the whole diminishment that is is lame to feel this way over something you find easy. You need to learn that others do not find the same things you do easy but they might be able to trump you on doing something else that you find hard.

The OP is not responsible for herself in this instance, she is responsible for others and animals and a big car that she is not happy driving. That is not a good mix on any level, for her OR the people in the car.

She found it "uncomfortable" enough to write a post on it here to see what she could do about it. Feeling trapped by others into doing something you are not comfortable with is not on.

Honestly I’m a new driver, my driving instructor swapped cars 3 times and it’s not hugely different once you get going. I’d ask her if you can go for a spin before you guys go away so you can feel more familiar and confident with the car without a dog and other passengers putting you off! Remember she’s going to be there for you to ask questions while you drive there……if you explain how you feel to her she might even offer to do the whole drive 4 hours isn’t that much in the grand scheme of things especially if you’ve driven your share before x

Why can't the non-driver pass the test, then it would be a three-way split, with only 1.33 hours driver per person?

@Adamantspants
Driving in an unfamiliar car, much bigger than your own and being responsible for other people and a dog is HARD for some people. Personally it would terrify me. Am I lame?I would under no circumstances do it because of how uncomfortable I felt...am I lame? The fact I find this an incredibly hard task and you don't..am I lame? My husband drives a huge car while mine is small and I would be terrified to drive his, does that make me lame?

There you go, reading things into my posts again.

When did I say I found it easy? I used to find driving other vehicles intimidating. It took me 4 goes to pass my driving test. Nevertheless, the majority of people manage it, so as tasks go, it's not a particularly difficult task and it's worth anyone who can drive a smaller car trying to see if they can get comfortable with it because chances are they just need to ease into it a bit.

I don't find things easy. I'm not impervious to nerves and fear. I just don't let unfounded concerns dictate my life. I value courage.

I didn't call anyone lame, I labelled an attitude lame. Do we have to have a discussion on the difference between labelling a person and an attitude or behaviour? People are far more than one or two attitudes they hold. We all have positive and negative ones. The way you describe your attitude to driving your DH's car doesn't sound like one I'd find positive. As you describe it I think that's a bit lame, yes. Moreso if it's causing problems or tension in your life or meaning you make others do things for you when you could try and master the skill yourself simply because you're afraid and haven't tried it. I'm not calling you lame, I'm calling that particular attitude lame. I'm sure there's more to you than that.

I wonder if OP is away yet?

In her shoes I would take my own car with one of the non-drivers as passenger if they wanted to. OP would probably be ok driving the larger car, but with being nervous isn't good for the driving or the enjoyment of the holiday.

A four-hour drive in my own car, with a coffee break, is not what I would consider a long drive to go on holiday, and I'm over seventy.