To not want to drive my friends car

[Sundaycoffee]

I am going on holiday next week with friends (within the UK).
The holiday is booked and paid for and we were going to use my friends car to do the 4 hour drive.
I am the only other driver in the party of 4 and now it has been sprung upon me that the drive needs to be split between me and my friend.
I drive a small car and hers is bigger so it's not an option to use mine and generally I am quite nervous in cars I am not familiar with, especially for such a long drive.
I would honestly rather drive the full way in my own car but it is not big enough for us all to fit in.
I have mentioned that I really don't feel comfortable driving the car. There will also be two other people plus a dog in the car.
We did a trip earlier this year year and I drove us there and back (albeit a shorter 2 hour journey each way) so it's not like I haven't done my share before.

Since I've mentioned it my other friend attending (non driver!) She has told me I'm being unreasonable and it's not fair to expect me not to split the drive and its caused a bit of awkwardness.

I just wish this had been discussed before booking and now I feel a little trapped into doing something I don't feel comfortable doing.

AIBU?

*I'd be embarrassed and ashamed if i could not drive a car bigger than mine(

I am not because my small car is a lot more eco-friendly and I can park it easily and it has a turning circle like a London taxi and if you meet someone on a country lane you can often get past them. And my small car is still larger than the OP's Aygo.

I would never drive a massive car unless it was an emergency, which this is not. It's like driving a tank and is very difficult to park next to all the other tanks, at least with a small car you can squeeze into a tiny space. A few years ago I hired a car in Scotland and had booked it months in advance, asking for a small one. When we got there, they didn't have a small one and couldn't understand why I wasn't excited about an upgrade. I was really cross as I'd booked it six months before - they found me a medium sized car in the end.

I was going to ask whether you really couldn't squeeze into your car OP but I guess 4 people plus dog is rather a lot.

I don’t feel comfortable in another car and as I did all the driving last holiday I did not expect to be doing it again. I’m sorry you are unhappy, but this is the first mention of sharing the drive, and it doesn’t work for me Yes I agree with this.

If you are going to do it, which I don't think you should be forced into. You should get a temporary insurance policy. Veygo is good company, and also try driving her car beforehand.

But it is very cheeky of them to spring this on you.

It's a misconception that fully comp means you're covered for any car

@rookiemere it doesn’t. But the assumption that you can’t drive it as adequately as the next person should you want to does. And that has been the reaction of every woman I discuss it with.

Far fewer men. There was one neighbour who dashed out to guide me into my driveway. I nearly ran him over though. It’s an awkward dog leg and I had pulled past the driveway, checked it was empty (as I left it) and then concentrated all of my attention on the sides and getting past the parked car. I only just noticed him and his useless hand signals in time. He freely admits he has never driven anything like it, and I drive it all the time, so why he felt I needed his non-existent expertise, and what he thinks I do the rest of the time is anyones guess!

I would not be driving a car I wasn’t insured on
if you covered 3rd party the other veichles repairs would be covered and you can get cf would want you to pay for any damage to there car

i would reiterate you aren’t comfortable drinking there car but will take yours down so you can share the driving once theRe
but also know your friends aren’t real friends if they are pressuring you into something. Just to make there life easier

This and ask to see the certificate. She may find its actually quite expensive to put you on her insurance for a whole week, and maybe suggest you have an hours break for lunch after hour 2.

I’ve never driven a hire car on holiday as I’m not comfortable in automatic on wrong side of road. Got bus/Uber yr DH didn’t come. Usually get lift from garage or wait. Had courtesy car maybe 2 times in 30 years and it was same as my little car. Never hired a van - would pay man & van on Facebook.
Figuring it out on own drive is very different to doing it with a car load on a motor way services. The scenario poster above mentions of Op reaching for handbrake and there not being one is exactly how I was first time in DH’s car.

100%

This was just a massive boast about how wonderful the poster believes he/she is and designed to make the OP feel small.

Honestly sometimes I read this site and wonder how some people manage everyday life. Have you never had to drive another car for work or a hire car? Or when your car's been at a garage. Or just had a borrow someone's car to do something. What if you wanted to hire a van for some reason. Why are people so lacking in confidence over everyday tasks

Yes I've driven another car for work, it was a Vauxhall Astra so not very big. When I've had a hire car from a garage it has been small (such as a Yaris or indeed an Aygo). I don't borrow other peoples' cars, that isn't easy in the UK due to insurance issues, I think it is easier in other countries. And if I needed a van, I'd probably also need a strong pair of hands to go with it, so would hire a man and van!

Sorry for all the spelling and grammar errors there
Butter fingers here!
Get = bet
drinking = driving

We've just bought a new car (new to us) and as my DP was leaving one morning I said I was going to do XY and Z that day, he said "Do you know how the car works?" I said "No, but I'll figure it out" And I did, because it's not a spaceship

When we've hired cars, I've done the first drive away from the airport, but it's only me and DH and no audience of "friends".

And when you get a new car you have time to figure it out without an audience.

It would be nice for the other driver to get some help, is there a way you could have a couple of small practice drives beforehand to get you used to it? Is there a section of motorway on the trip? If so I'd try and do those parts and I think motorway driving is pretty easy, straight road no stopping and starting etc

The non driving friend should shut her mouth about it though considering she isn't doing any driving either, the cheeky fucker

I wonder if there’s more to this, and it’s not really about sharing the drive there and back. Does she want you to share the driving when you’re there? Could this be about drinking - she doesn’t want to be the designated driver if you all go out for meals? Just a thought.

fwiw I wouldn’t be driving a friend’s car. Way too stressful if something goes wrong. I would also find it very stressful having someone else drive my car.

YANBU. I’d be very anxious in your situation too. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with when it comes to the responsibility of others’ safety.

This is wrong.

It is a common misconception that leads to many people driving uninsured.

Do not take the risk, the driving other cars extension used to be incredibly common, it is now as rare as rocking horse shit.

Do not take the risk, the driving other cars extension used to be incredibly common, it is now as rare as rocking horse shit.

It's on my "cheap as I'm willing to go" insurance as standard, and had been standard in every insurance I've ever held

Driving a bigger (SauV) car actually makes me feel safer as it's likely to withstand a lot more than a small car. I think you're being a bit odd. It's not a big deal to drive another car. Do you never rent cars on holiday?

@mrsfoof have you been on 4 hour drives?? Even as a passenger it's a very long drive even when chatting and having a fab time, driver gets tired due to the concentration so hardly a chatty drive. We often do 4 hour drives every 3 months, and let me tell you, it is no joy! I always end up falling asleep no matter how much I try fight it. With the service stops and traffic, it adds even more time to the journey, half a day home.

SUV*

Half a day gone**

Non driver gets no opinion. They are also being selfish not sharing the drive aren't they. You have your reasons for not feeling able to drive you all safely.

One of the things that stuck with me when I learned to drive was DM drilling into me that me driving was not just cool and got me from A to B but also I was solely responsible for the safety of myself and my passengers and that it's my responsiblity that in any situation where I didn't feel I could or should drive, to refuse to drive. I'm the best judge of my personal road safety capability in whatever vehicle I'm expected to drive.

Now you could do a couple of things assuming that any insurance issues are resolved:
You could drive from say agree to drive if your friend does all the parking and manouvering so for example, you swap over at a service station or layby on the outskirts of the town and she navigates the streets and parking.
Alternatively you could take a spin in her car and just see if it's not as bad as you might be thinking? I've a similar sized car which I adore for town driving and feel daunted in OH's bigger estate car.

Yes If you had an accident in her car using your own 3rd party insurance, your insurance premiums would increase and you would have to declare the accident for the next 6 years.

It is much safer to be a named driver on her policy, but make sure you are aware of the excess on the policy.

Or better still just say you are not comfortable driving her car and will be travelling in your own for safety reasons.

Could you practice in the larger car before you leave ?. The size wouldn't bother me much but if it was an unfamiliar make I'd want to make sure I knew where all the switches/controls were and how the gears work (I always have problems with Vauxhall corsas reverse )and I've had electronic parking brakes in all my cars for the last 10 years so I forget about using my husbands manual one in his car. If you share the driving it will help break the journey for you too but I think your non driving friend is the one being unreasonable.

Doesn't mean that it is on every policy. Many people shop around and go for the cheapest policy, budget policies don't usually include this and no one should ever drive another car without checking their policy properly.