To not want to drive my friends car

[Sundaycoffee]

I am going on holiday next week with friends (within the UK).
The holiday is booked and paid for and we were going to use my friends car to do the 4 hour drive.
I am the only other driver in the party of 4 and now it has been sprung upon me that the drive needs to be split between me and my friend.
I drive a small car and hers is bigger so it's not an option to use mine and generally I am quite nervous in cars I am not familiar with, especially for such a long drive.
I would honestly rather drive the full way in my own car but it is not big enough for us all to fit in.
I have mentioned that I really don't feel comfortable driving the car. There will also be two other people plus a dog in the car.
We did a trip earlier this year year and I drove us there and back (albeit a shorter 2 hour journey each way) so it's not like I haven't done my share before.

Since I've mentioned it my other friend attending (non driver!) She has told me I'm being unreasonable and it's not fair to expect me not to split the drive and its caused a bit of awkwardness.

I just wish this had been discussed before booking and now I feel a little trapped into doing something I don't feel comfortable doing.

AIBU?

I would say you will consider it if

you can have a practice drive
she drives the tricky bits (you get to decide which bits those are)
she puts you on her insurance fully comp at her cost (and shows you the documentation)

if she baulks remind her about the previous trip where you drove all the time and say its her turn now

YANBU because the car owner should have made this clear before booking.

Insurance - If you are insured fully comp then you can ring your insurers to confirm you're covered. If not your friend needs to contact their insurer. If you're only insured 3rd party then currently you're not insured to do this.
For me the choices would be to ask for some practise runs in the car before the holiday or pull out all together. It must be pretty big to be able to fit in 4 people, one dog and all their luggage!

Even if your own car insurance covers you 3rd party to drive other people’s cars (which it might or might not) there’s no way I’d actually want to drive someone else’s car on that basis - if you had an accident the insurance would cover the damage/injury to the other vehicle/people but she’d get nothing for her car even if it was a write off!

I’d drive it if I was a named driver on her insurance policy, but only on normal roads - not stone walled country lanes and not in tight parking spots. The size of it matters less than you think if you’re cruising on a motorway.

But I don’t think driving four hours in a day is a particularly big deal so while I can see she might want to split it I don’t think it’s essential.

Tell CF non driver to get a provisional licence and you'll sit next to her!
Whatever you decide ask your insurance company if you can drive the other car, it may only be covered 3rd party without being a named driver.

I'd go separately in my own car, I wouldn't drive someone else's.

Op I would not feel comfortable driving a car that I am not familiar with on roads I am not familiar with.
Your non driver friend is being unreasonable how the hell does she know what it feels like to drive a car you are not familiar with.

Tbh I would not go because a nervous driver is not a safe driver.

You drive for two hours, stop at services, drive another two hours. Not a problem.

This. Go out a few times and practice.

I am a driver who drives anything from a mini to a minibus and frequently switches for work.

I would NOT want to do this - and would be annoyed that this assumption was made without asking me (especially bynthose who are non drivers).

I would REFUSE to do this if I was not a named driver on the car insurance of the person/car being driven - there would be no 'oh you have 3rd party cover' going on here. I would also expect there to be agreement over excess etc if there was a problem. This sounds petty and I'm sure you'll be told 'it will be fine'. But having been through an accident resulting in a car write off recently I know the amount of hassle it caused.... car owner without a car to get to work in for 3 weeks as no hire car available even though hire is specifically listed on policy, extra money needed to replace the car because of inflated 2nd hand car costs currently etc.

If you do agree and the above is sorted out you need to go on a few familiarisation runs before hand too. (And make sure the dog is properly crated/restrained - as legally that is the drivers responsibility too!)

How come other driver didn't help with the last holiday?

Non driver can get to fuck.

I get what you're saying. Even driving a different car is weird. When someone went into the back of me my insurance sent me a car to use. Yeah it was bigger but everything was in a slightly different place. I could drive. But I was never comfortable. All the things I took for granted were slightly out...

But more to the point I don't like how your concerns are just swept aside with calling you selfish.

I would also worry about insurance. I wouldn't want my insurance to be affected.

And lastly absolutely. This is something that should have been discussed beforehand so you could decide whether you wanted to do this. Now you feel railroaded.

I wouldn't be happy but for the attitude and not being told beforehand I wouldn't go. Not particularly because of the driving thing.

Just get some practice in with her car before you go, if you can drive you should be able to drive any car.

You need to be named on her insurance to be fully covered. It isn’t usually a big deal or expensive though. There often isn’t a charge for the insurance itself unless you are v young and therefore insurers view you as greater risk, sometimes there’s a nominal fee of about £30 for administration as they have to make changes to paperwork.

You must be added to the insurance if you do end up driving her car

@Rosehugger

"You drive for two hours, stop at services, drive another two hours. Not a problem."

Maybe not a problem for the humans but what about the dog? Unless the car is huge then being cooped up with 4 humans, plus luggage, for 2 hours in hot weather is not very dog-friendly.

This leads on to the question about how the dog will be restrained during the journey. Does the car have a dog-crate in the back OP.?

www.driving.co.uk/news/drivers-unrestrained-dogs-serious-risk-car-accident/

I understand it's stressful driving bigger (or just different) cars when you are not used to them, but is there a way this can be worked out - for instance you take your turn on motorways/main roads and leave the country lanes/about towns to her?

Tbh 4 hours is about my limit these days and Im not fit for much for the next day either. Longer was fine when I was younger, but not now.

It's the MN way, any journey over an hour is massive! I used to drive over to Germany with two children, about 300 miles each side of the Channel, hoped to get sleep on the ferry and even once in a layby round Antwerp!

No exactly, that's why I was suggesting they spread out and take two cars. A stop after two hours is fine for most dogs, we've done that with our dog. And it isn't hot in the car at all.

Did all 4 of you go on the last holiday-did they fit in your car then?

I wouldn’t want to do this and would be really annoyed that it was trying to be sprung on me. I wouldn’t be driving someone else’s car (what if there was an accident, I’d feel awful?!) and would refuse. I would either drive myself (then she’ll have to drive) or not go.

How nice of the non-driver who contributes fuck all but opinions! Ignore them completely.

You need to check your insurance and she needs to check hers

Yours might cover third party liability if you were driving another car so if you hit someone else it would pay for their compensation but if you scratched her car parking then you would be unlikely to have any cover under your policy. She needs to check the terms and conditions under her policy as well, if she needs to add you as a named driver or if her cover extends to you as long as she is in the car with you etc (in which case you couldn't borrow it).

I'd also check with her, if her insurance covers you, who she expects would pay any excess or loss of no claims bonus etc if you damaged it

The fact she hasn't mentioned adding you to her insurance would make me think twice about travelling in her car if someone else is driving.

Phone your car insurance and see what they say about driving other vehicles.
If they don't cover or only as third party,then she needs to add you as a named driver to her policy. You might be able to check with your own insurance company how much they charge to give a ball park figure.
Once she realises the financial implications then hopefully she'll back down. Offer to buy her a coffee when you stop mid way - in fact all the non drivers should be doing this. Perhaps she's annoyed that she has 2 x 4 hr drives whilst everyone else relaxes in the car, and that's fair enough.

@Sundaycoffee "Can you not drive another car on third party? She seems to think I can just jump in the car and go! If I damage the car or get in an accident will it be my insurance affected or hers?"

At best (it varies and is not always included) your own insurance will cover you third party - which means in an accident the insurance will cover the car/s people you hit BUT NOT the car you are driving or anyone in it. That would be an uninsured risk and legally your personal responsibility. Hence PP telling you you must be fully comp on the car owners policy to agree to this.

The more I see of your posts the more I think the car owner has not thought this through and that you should definitely say NO.

Firstly, You definitely need to be added to her insurance to be fully comprehensively covered. IF your policy extends to you driving other cars (not all do), it is third party only cover - so if there was a crash then your friends car is not covered, only damage to other vehicles or property are covered.

Secondly, you should take your friends car out for a drive first before the holiday to see how you feel. It really is easier driving a bigger car, however not everyone thinks that way, or can bring themselves to do it. You definitely need to do a practise drive beforehand.

I'm with LittleOwl and I'm surprised so many people are blasé about driving other people's cars especially in regards to insurance.

Your insurance at best will only cover you third party, so any damage to her car won't be covered. As driver you are responsible to ensure the car is roadworthy. Who will pay the excess if there is an accident? If you kerb a wheel would you have to get it fixed?

I'd only consider it if I was added to her policy

I wouldn't want to drive someone else's car either. When I've gone away with a friend who was also a driver, we took it in turns, so she drove one trip, me the next etc.
If there had ever been an emergency on the trip which meant my friend couldn't drive for any reason, then I guess I would have taken over, but that would have been the only circumstance I'd have done it.

As you drive last time, and it really isn't a very long way, I don't understand why it has even been suggested. Let alone assumed without asking.