To not want to drive my friends car

[Sundaycoffee]

I am going on holiday next week with friends (within the UK).
The holiday is booked and paid for and we were going to use my friends car to do the 4 hour drive.
I am the only other driver in the party of 4 and now it has been sprung upon me that the drive needs to be split between me and my friend.
I drive a small car and hers is bigger so it's not an option to use mine and generally I am quite nervous in cars I am not familiar with, especially for such a long drive.
I would honestly rather drive the full way in my own car but it is not big enough for us all to fit in.
I have mentioned that I really don't feel comfortable driving the car. There will also be two other people plus a dog in the car.
We did a trip earlier this year year and I drove us there and back (albeit a shorter 2 hour journey each way) so it's not like I haven't done my share before.

Since I've mentioned it my other friend attending (non driver!) She has told me I'm being unreasonable and it's not fair to expect me not to split the drive and its caused a bit of awkwardness.

I just wish this had been discussed before booking and now I feel a little trapped into doing something I don't feel comfortable doing.

AIBU?

Just ask your friend if you can have a couple of practise sessions beforehand. I regularly drive five hours, having one longish break and a shorter one, but it was easier when I could split the driving. It's tiring.

I have an 8 seater and a small car. Much prefer driving the big one!! You will find op other drivers give you a wide berth!!
Don't knock it until you've tried it I say!!

@Sundaycoffee

What car does you friend have?

As others have said, first question is are you willing to try? Second question is. insurance. Her car, her insurance with you added fully comp and make sure you are clear on excess etc in event of accident.
I have had the same in reverse - BIL wanted to drive my car - it was a No as insurance was prohibitive ( he had no UK licence ) . He was very offended but tough.

I'd be embarrassed and ashamed if i could not drive a car bigger than mine, there is no doubt that although it is a bit awkward driving a bigger car for the first few miles you get used to it very quickly. I'd second the suggestion you borrow the car to have a little practice with before the break. You are probably insured on your own policy TPF&T but you need one of the insurers to put you on as comprehensive for the time you are away.

I’m not sure iyabu. It’s generally ok swooping between car sizes - it doesn’t take long to get used to them, but I get anxious driving other people’s cars incase I damage them . However I would hate to be the only driver over a holiday - will you be eating out and having to drive back to the hotel etc? Which she benpreventef from drinking when the rest of you are?

Yanbu because its not up to other posters on here to say what you should do on the basis that they would be fine with it. If this was tobe a part of the plan then you should have been asked before booking and non drivers get zero say.

I'm not a confident driver but have been in similar situations in the past where for the good of the group I have agreed to drive a car that I was unfamiliar with eg automatic or large hire car or borrowed car .
I started by doing the easy bits of the journey eg long straight A roads rather than the Dartford crossing or Elephant and Castle.Each time I adapted quite quickly and I am a poor and quite inexperienced long journey driver. A little practice will probably set you right.The critical non driver is of course BU.

I'm a confident driver but I would not do this. Too many distractions. Too much risk.

Also pretty selfish to guilt someone into doing something you want but that they are clearly very uncomfortable doing.

I suspect that once you have had a practice run you will wonder what you were bothered about.

Are you insured to drive friends' car OP? If so, I think a practice run a good idea. If not, who will be paying for the insurance upgrade? The non-drivers or you?

But you did last time!

Any idea how much this will cost for 4 days?
Can you not drive another car on third party? She seems to think I can just jump in the car and go!
If I damage the car or get in an accident will it be my insurance affected or hers?

On the contrary I think it's perfectly reasonable to tell someone they are being selfish when they are actually being selfish.

A four hour drive doesn't really need to be split between 2 people, unless you're all in your 80's or 90's (are you?)

YANBU, I don't think. I'm a fairly confident driver, so driving someone else's car wouldn't really bother me, but I can totally see it from your POV. And agree with PP's that the non driver needs to keep their beak out of it.

Take two cars as four people, luggage and a dog in one car no matter how big sounds uncomfortable.

Two cars with one car with two passengers and one car with two people and a dog.

Much nicer idea and it means when you get to your destination there is more freedom for different trips.

If you able to drive other cars on your insurance . You wont be covered for any damage to her car only third party damage will be covered

Non driver is the type of cf that gives them all a bad name!

But....if there are 3 of you going and you know 1 can't drive and the location was 4 hours each way away how did you think you were going to get there? I can't see how it can have come as a complete surprise? Unless you thought other friend would drive the whole thing which is a bit unreasonable of you - 2 hours each way as you did is different to 2 four hour drives within a few days of each other.

Think you all should have discussed how you were going to get there before you booked really!

You definitely need to get the insurance sorted out and see proof - don't let your friend fob you off. It's a serious matter and not "optional" or insignificant at all.

You are being railroaded enough as it is - don't let them fuck up the bloody legalities too.

They sound unsympathetic and shit friends, and also very shortsighted if they want you to drive their car whilst you’re not happy to do so.

I think I’d say “I’ll drive myself then” and if they moan, just keep repeating you wouldn’t have agreed if you’d known it was the plan to drive their car. Remind them of the previous holiday.

Is the other driver a drinker? Are they worried it’s going to spoil their fun?

But saying you don’t want to do something that has been sprung on you late in the day and that you are anxious about is not being selfish. It is making a statement, being assertive, letting other people know your point of view, offering an alternative solution.

If you did all the driving last time, point that out to your friends.
It’s really cheeky to expect you to help out when they didn’t

I don’t feel comfortable in another car and as I did all the driving last holiday I did not expect to be doing it again. I’m sorry you are unhappy, but this is the first mention of sharing the drive, and it doesn’t work for me.

If you have comprehensive cover on your car and you’re over 25 you are covered to drive other peoples cars but it only covers third party, not damage to her car.

That aside, can you not offer to do a stretch of motorway driving? Take over at a service station, pull in at another and swap over. Then all you have to do is drive and pull in to a parking bay - no difficult parking or navigating?

I once had to drive my ex's massively long estate car when I'm only used to a Fiat 500. Was shi**ing myself. No sooner had I pulled away, I had to reverse it into a tight space as a car came round a bend and had no where to reverse. I simply had to do it, no choice. Once I'd done a few miles, got used to it, I relaxed.
Defo do a practice run and tell them you'll do motorways, duel carriges etc but not towns, parking etc. Agree on what would happen in the event of an accident, I.e. woukd she expect you to pay half the excess or split between you all and who's paying to put you on the insurance?