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Original poster

What would you make of this message?

410 replies

Glittersparkle76 · 15/06/2022 07:24

My partner and I have been together on and off for nearly 10 years and we have a 9 year old daughter.He works away in hospitality and comes back to me and my daughter when he gets days off.I woke during the early hours and found this message he had sent,all lovely until I read the part when he said he had loved others more!,I thought WTAF??,why would you even need to say that to me?,are some things best left unsaid??.He's meant to be coming back late tonight for 3 days but now I feel like telling him to fuck off and don't bother!.Am I overreacting to this message?,I feel like I'm second,third or even fourth best now and don't think I will ever be able to get that comment out of my head.
Even if I felt in my past I had loved others more than I do him,I would never say that to him as I don't feel it needs to be said!.
I would love others opinions on this and how they would feel if their partner sent them this message.

What would you make of this message?
OP posts:
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6
ReneBumsWombats · 15/06/2022 08:34

He really hasn't got what the Americans call game, has he? What a plonker.

booboo24 · 15/06/2022 08:35

Is that how he normally talks? I thought he was probably foreign too as it sounds very strangely phrased and punctuated. If its his 'normal' way of texting and therefore he hasn't been hacked in some way, then I'm afraid my first thought was that text was meant for someone else, but then as I read on, it sounded like guilty conscience talking and he was about to stray.

There's no positive to that message at all.

Sorry op

gamerchick · 15/06/2022 08:38

Lady of leisure? Is that a dig?

Yeah that's not a message from someone in it for the long haul. He's putting you off him.

PearlclutchersInc · 15/06/2022 08:39

Right now? Eh? He needs a good head wobble.

MaryVee · 15/06/2022 08:39

Ugh! He sounds full of himself, sorry!

SausageAndCash · 15/06/2022 08:41

I think he is just clumsy with language, and the ‘right now’ means in comparison to things in his past, I.e he wants what he has right now, not what he wanted in past relationships.

Text is not a good way to communicate, when tired, when a drunk has been taken, when the subject matter is intense and / or delicate.

It seems like he loves you, I would talk about it in a calm way when he is home.

lapasion · 15/06/2022 08:41

Can you really be arsed with a ten year on and off relationship? Find someone who actually wants to be with you.

Sirius3030 · 15/06/2022 08:41

I think the ‘right now’ bit was a clumsy attempt to say how much he feels for you, in a positive way. It was badly written.
I do find it a bit ironic that much criticism comes from posters whose posts are written even more badly… 😀

myuterusistryingtokillme · 15/06/2022 08:43

No, just no. That level of negging would seriously make me consider the relationship. 'I've loved people more but not ended up with them, if not told you because honesty hurts and I don't want to hurt you (but I feel the need to do just that randomly and for no apparent reason) you're ok for right now though'. Fuck right off mate

TigerLilyTail · 15/06/2022 08:44

Does he always use finger emojis like that?

it is a very weird message but it’s hard to say out of context of how he usually messages you. I’d talk to him face to face and ask him what it meant.

I agree that it reads like he’s drunk.

OwlNoisesInHerFace · 15/06/2022 08:44

To be fair he's completely contradicting himself. Literally in the same sentence. 'I've never loved anyone more, ... although I've loved others more' makes no bloody sense.

It reads like an incredibly cringy 'romantic' poem. And if you were there he wants a shag.

What would you make of this message?
myuterusistryingtokillme · 15/06/2022 08:44

I've not (not if not) oh mumsnet please give us an edit button!

girlmom21 · 15/06/2022 08:46

OP I don't think he's as anti-drugs as you think he is. That reads like he's absolutely off his face on coke talking shit.

Where does he actually work?

Are you sure if was even meant for you?

myuterusistryingtokillme · 15/06/2022 08:47

OwlNoisesInHerFace · 15/06/2022 08:44

To be fair he's completely contradicting himself. Literally in the same sentence. 'I've never loved anyone more, ... although I've loved others more' makes no bloody sense.

It reads like an incredibly cringy 'romantic' poem. And if you were there he wants a shag.

It doesn't make sense because you've missed a key part out. I've never loved anyone more who I've ended up with, but I've loved others more

Moonface123 · 15/06/2022 08:47

It reads to me as though yes, he does love you OP, for now.
Also bear in mind that if a man says he doesn't want to hurt you, he inevitably will.
You say you' ve been on and off for many years now, which is quite telling in itself.
You want a man who makes you feel secure and the centre of his world, not to be questioning what he meant, or doubting where you stand. (or placing you lower down on list of previous loves which is quite cruel.)
l would have a very frank conversation with him face to face about your future together, are you both on the same page ?

Orgasmagorical · 15/06/2022 08:47

We have all formed an opinion of him from one message.

What's your opinion of him now, OP, having known and been, or not, with him for 10 years or so? Is he worth putting any more of your time into?

bouquetofpeonies · 15/06/2022 08:50

Please don't take this the wrong way OP, but is he generally not very eloquent? Could he maybe have been trying to do a crass piece of word play, as in: I love you more (as in I love you more than I have loved anyone), but I have loved others more (as in, I have slept around quite a bit).

Sunshinebug · 15/06/2022 08:50

Was there a discussion at some stage before this message where you suggested he loved past partners more? I read this very much to mean people in the past, for example is he is widower? It’s definitely insensitive and unnecessary though, but hard to tell if there is any context for this message. It comes across that yes he doesn’t love anyone else as much as you at the moment, but he could do if the right person came along, or worse that he loves others at the same time but just a bit less than you. I couldn’t tell either if this is an open relationship but if not, then something definitely seems a bit off.

SilverOtter · 15/06/2022 08:50

That's horrible. So you're Mrs Right-Now, not Mrs Right!

Ugzbugz · 15/06/2022 08:53

Absolute gimp. Dump him, utter cringe.

HollowTalk · 15/06/2022 08:57

What are the fingers all about? What do they mean?

Why saddle yourself with someone who thinks you're at best a bronze medalist?

Merryoldgoat · 15/06/2022 08:58

Why are you on again off again?

Given the timeline, you had a child very early into the relationship. Does he somehow (entirely incorrectly) feel trapped and keep
buggering off to have freedom but realised you’re the one he wants?

But somehow resents it?

That message would really piss me off, both for the content and the poor construction and grammar.

ChairPose9to5 · 15/06/2022 08:59

True, Ms Right Now will do.That's what the text smacks of.

Not that he was foolish but he's matured in to valuing you. The opposite. I would really calmly try and ask him a couple of questions to get him talking though.

LittleOwl153 · 15/06/2022 08:59

What's you financial arrangement? I'm going to guess you live as a single person supporting your daughter and he throws a bit of cash your way when he 'comes home'? But the responsibility for your daughter is yours alone?

I'd ditch him once and for all. Give yourself time to get the life you want, that you deserve before you hit old age with this idiot who won't actually commit to you until he has tried every other option if at all.

godmum56 · 15/06/2022 09:00

That looks to me like he found it somewhere, thought it was "clever" and copy pasted it to you.