What would you make of this message?

[Glittersparkle76]

My partner and I have been together on and off for nearly 10 years and we have a 9 year old daughter.He works away in hospitality and comes back to me and my daughter when he gets days off.I woke during the early hours and found this message he had sent,all lovely until I read the part when he said he had loved others more!,I thought WTAF??,why would you even need to say that to me?,are some things best left unsaid??.He's meant to be coming back late tonight for 3 days but now I feel like telling him to fuck off and don't bother!.Am I overreacting to this message?,I feel like I'm second,third or even fourth best now and don't think I will ever be able to get that comment out of my head.
Even if I felt in my past I had loved others more than I do him,I would never say that to him as I don't feel it needs to be said!.
I would love others opinions on this and how they would feel if their partner sent them this message.

An unrequited infatuation in your youth is a very intense feeling. Its intensity can feel very different from a calm and secure long term relationship. However, anyone who didn't possess the emotional maturity to understand that infatuation is not love, and furthermore not to understand how it would feel to be sent this message, would be gone from my life very quickly.

I'm so sorry about your son, that must be devastating for you and I completely understand your desire to stay where you are.

With regard to the message, well words fail me, but I think I would send a reply to this effect:-

Thanks for your message, I have to say I've met some illiterate, thick as mince gobshites over the years but right now ☝️you are probably the only one I ended up in a relationship with.

Luckily right now I've come to my senses ☝️and can't think of anything worse than having you here with me right now (or ever in fact).

This man cannot be 52. Cringing myself inside out at those messages.

OP, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your son

The worst bits for me is that he loved someone more than you, then it wasn’t love but just lust and then it never went anywhere anyway, then he was 29 at the time (funny age to remember exactly!) and of course it’s all your fault for over dramatising.

finally, his dream goal is to live in a mobile home by the sea (which you will have to leave For at least two weeks every year probably).

what a cock.

im very sorry about your dear son BTW xx 💐

Gosh, he really can't resist adding that "right now" can he? Terrible grammar, too. Not all relationships last forever, but don't you want to be with someone who's willing to consider that it might, and isn't qualifying it, that it's for right now only?

@BrightYellowDaffodil "Don’t move if you don’t want to, especially not for this halfwit who thinks he can click his fingers via an emoji-laden word salad and you’ll come running out of flattery.

Just reading, let alone receiving, that message made my nethers slam shut like an angry clam."
Angry clam has made me really lol

Wow! So the way I read it is that he hasn't ended up with the person he really loves. But he does love you. Honestly it would make me want to bin him not sure I'd get past being told that.

I think I'd be glad he has decided not to come back. What a complete idiot. And to keep blaming you, rather than accepting that perhaps his messages don't read well.

And me!

I've read that message 3 times and tried to ponder on, that's 10 minutes of my life I won't get back 🙄, and it just makes no sense at all.

If he were pissed and this was a one off I'd be a bit dismissive and could laugh it off I think, but even still it would leave a shadow of some sort.

The finger emojis as in pointing down and right now, points (!) to all sorts of actions and responses, god give me strength. I don't have time for that shit.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I can hardly read his messages without wanting to send him back to school.

It is nonsensical rubbish. Word salad is about right.

He seem immature. Just that alone would be a huge turn off for me. If I didn’t know better I would assume that this message was from a younger teen.

Reads like a 16 year old has written it. 52 you say! Wow.

Bin.

He sounds drunk but also extremely odd given you are ten years in with a child. It sounds like a discussion you might have very early on in dating.

Is he usually clumsy at communication, particularly through text? I've a family member with what I'd call chronic Foot-in-Mouth disease. So when there's a poorly worded text or something said out loud that lands wrongly, we tend to know how it was meant.

If he's normally fairly articulate then this sounds like drunk ramblings but his lack of sober back-pedalling is a concern as he's doubling down.

His messages read like a teen’s myspace bio from 2005.

He’s luckily ANYONE loves him, especially “right now”.

When I saw the first message I thought he was an attention seeking arse, from the post about the loss of your lovely boy I'm wondering if he's trying to push himself back into the limelight as he feels you're not giving him enough attention while you're grieving.

Either way, he's a dick🖕🏻

Late to the party here but I just needed to say, all of the "right now"s are killing me. Fucking imagine: You're the best men I've ever slept with... right now. I mean a few were better but right now, you're top of the current list. probably.

All (well, most) adults have someone they were infatuated with at some point, or maybe even were in a relationship with that didn't work out in the long run. Life isn't Hollywood. But thank FUCK my husband doesn't just randomly add caveats to every statement of affection he makes towards me.

Also, I'm very sorry for the loss of your lovely boy

It reads like it was meant for someone else (meaning they are the person he loves most in the world right now) and the person he is referring to as being with at the moment and loving people more than is you.

sorry op.

It doesn't read well..

On the other hand I have a friend (and we're in our 40's) who would be pissed and write something like that and be absolutely HORRIFIED when it was pointed out later exactly how it reads.

He is terrible with written communication, you get a sort of random stream of conciousness which with the addition of booze ends up making very little sense and he can absolutely fail to see how something can read very badly to the recipient.

I can absolutely see him writing something like this and thinking he's sent something really deep and meaningful about how much he loves you and wants to be with you.. whilst you've recieved something quite upsetting saying he loves you, not as much as others, and only 'for now' but maybe not in the future.

I’m no stranger to an intense crush that can last years BUT it’s no where near the emotion of an actual relationship, anyone who places a crus ABOVE a partner, current or not, is disrespectful of their partner.

Also my DH and I are around the same age and not texting about our “twilight years”, I’m all for forward planning but that’s ridiculous!

Sorry to read about your son OP. You deserve much better than this.

He seems like a bit of a moron if I'm honest. You deserve better, if you do stay with him then you are basically tacitly accepting him treating you like shit and he knows it. He is old enough to know better.

What an absolute tit. I'm cringing for him!

Ditch the emoji guy. You can do better

I’m so sorry about the loss of your son.You’re so vunerable at the moment and he sent you a message which would hurt anyone and is now blaming you!

This is not a man you should be leaving your home, job and adult daughter for.