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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have found his public groping humiliating?

183 replies

Gerty4221 · 14/06/2022 16:22

It has been about a week and a half since we last had sex (baby, work, tkredness) and he has been not so subtly making it obvious that he'd like to do it tonight, that in itself isn't an issue but he has just killed my sex drive stone dead.

The issue is him thinking it is in any way appropriate or acceptable to grope me between the legs as I'm stood outside the front door in broad daylight in full view of passing cars and people (we live on a busy city road) and I had a dress on.

I said "what on earth are you doing? That is humiliating, people can see everything"

He said "I'm not humiliating you" and I said "yes, you very much are"

He just walked off (he was on his way out) and didn't say anything else.

In his desperate-for-a-shag mind I have just rejected him, in my mind he has just humiliated me, and himself actually, in public.

Was I being unreasonable?

Is anybody here OK with something like that?

OP posts:
Sunnytwobridges · 15/06/2022 02:29

Blech. My ex used to grope me regularly. Luckily not in public. He was still a vile sex pest tho. Would try to shame me by saying that “any other woman would love it if their man did this.” I knew then he was off his rocker. One of the many reasons he’s an ex 😂

mokololo · 15/06/2022 03:17

With sexual things like this, if he knows you don't like it then he probably likes that you don't like it.

Thepossibility · 15/06/2022 04:55

DarkCharlotte · 14/06/2022 16:50

Me and DP both do this kinda thing to each other but neither of us dislike it so it's fine. It's not for you so it's not acceptable and you need to let him know never to do it again.

You grab each other's genitals in public?

Whooshaagh · 15/06/2022 05:43

mokololo · 15/06/2022 03:17

With sexual things like this, if he knows you don't like it then he probably likes that you don't like it.

^^This

OP tell your dh that if he ever gropes you again in public that you will shout for help really loudly.
And mean it.

Coffeetree · 15/06/2022 06:12

Gerty4221 · 14/06/2022 22:51

Ah you know what you're probably right. I won't bother.

You'll just wear yourself trying to educate him. He knows, he just doesn't care.

Fairislefandango · 15/06/2022 07:19

Why are there even 3% who think the op is being unreasonable? Or is it op's husband?

Likely men who have tried it on and been given short shrift!

More likely women who are in denial and don't want to think about the fact that their own partner(s) past or present who did/do this have been doing something which is sexual assault.

whynotwhatknot · 16/06/2022 20:39

did youtalk to him op?

violetbunny · 16/06/2022 21:26

He knows you don't like it, he just doesn't care.
I couldn't stay with someone who had so little respect for me.

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