To have found his public groping humiliating?

[Gerty4221]

It has been about a week and a half since we last had sex (baby, work, tkredness) and he has been not so subtly making it obvious that he'd like to do it tonight, that in itself isn't an issue but he has just killed my sex drive stone dead.

The issue is him thinking it is in any way appropriate or acceptable to grope me between the legs as I'm stood outside the front door in broad daylight in full view of passing cars and people (we live on a busy city road) and I had a dress on.

I said "what on earth are you doing? That is humiliating, people can see everything"

He said "I'm not humiliating you" and I said "yes, you very much are"

He just walked off (he was on his way out) and didn't say anything else.

In his desperate-for-a-shag mind I have just rejected him, in my mind he has just humiliated me, and himself actually, in public.

Was I being unreasonable?

Is anybody here OK with something like that?

Again, you are missing the word PUBLIC , @HeadOnShoulders . He is doing this..... IN PUBLIC. Do you not understand that?

Someone grabbing hold of your cunt in public is not a turn-on!

Also, being 'handsy' and affectionate does not equate to grabbing someone by the cunt! If that's your idea of 'affectionate', that's very very sad. I can only presume you are a male. Heads up; women like sweet kisses, cuddles, stroking her arm, whispers, etc as 'affection'. Not being 'grabbed by the pussy'.

What I can’t get my head around, is where or when did he learn that this was an ok thing to do? There are plenty of men out there that wouldn’t dream of doing this to their wife, let alone in public.

I swear some men have really taken Donald Trump's advice to 'grab 'em by the pussy' seriously.

Heads up; women like sweet kisses, cuddles, stroking her arm, whispers, etc as 'affection'. Not being 'grabbed by the pussy'.

You have no idea what every woman like and shouldn't speak for all of us.

Oh so you are saying you don't like kisses, you don't like cuddles, you don't like your arm being stroked and you don't like sweet whispers.

You don't like any sort of affection do you?

There’s a huge difference between kissing with tongues to grabbing someone’s private parts in public that they clearly wouldn’t consent to. It doesn’t matter if it’s a husband or anyone else, if there isn’t consent then it’s assault.

It does all sound very Donald Trump doesn't it.

I won't bother replying to the goady poster but thank you to those of you who have had my back on it.

So he came home acting as though it hadn't happened. I said "surely you remember what I said to you about the groping, you have seriously upset me" his response was "OK I know, I apologise"

The conversation was cut short with DD walking into the room but yes as PP guessed, it was a half arsed non apology.

Oh so you are saying you don't like kisses, you don't like cuddles, you don't like your arm being stroked and you don't like sweet whispers.

You don't like any sort of affection do you?

No, I like that but I also wouldn't mind what happened in the OP but apparently no woman likes that according to you.

OPs husband is in the wrong as he has been told, but I'm just saying you can't say no women like it and speak for them all.

In the early days of a relationship I expect most people go through the 'can't keep your hands off each other' phase, but constant groping is distinctly unacceptable.

I'd be fine with it. I find it utterly bizarre that someone in a committed relationship would have a problem with it, tbh. It's affectionate, not sexual assault ffs. It'd only be assault if he continued after you'd said no.

I have told him no multiple times in the past.

Sure he stopped as soon as I made it clear I didn't want him to do it today, but he already knew I wouldn't like it. He knows I don't.

In the early days of a relationship I expect most people go through the 'can't keep your hands off each other' phase but constant groping is distinctly unacceptable

We've been together many years. It's unacceptable when I say it is, or he does, like OP has.

This

And this

Get rid and have some respect for yourself he clearly doesn't

For crying out loud @Hallyup89 she HAS told him no. Many, many times.
He KNOWS it is going to be a NO. He does it anyway.

It's not affectionate. It's territorial, and HE KNOWS SHE HATES IT.
How is doing something YOU KNOW YOUR PARTNER HATES in any way affectionate FFS?

You know how consent works, right?
You know that you being "fine with it" doesn't mean OP needs to be "fine with it", yes?

He didn't forget you don't like it. He choose to ignore the fact.
Tell him to come home when he respects you and to stay away if he can't.

And his anger & sulking when OP says NO - is THAT affectionate too @Hallyup89 ?

He remembers. He absolutely remembers. If he didn't, any woman would be fair game because his defense is 'man needs sex, woman there to fulfil this need, can't think of anything else'. All bollocks.

He does it to you even though you've said No.

It doesn't really matter what other people think. You don't like it, he knows you don't like it and did it anyway. So YANBU at all.
It probably won't make you feel any better but just incase I doubt anyone actually saw what he was doing and if they did they probably thought he was a wanker.
Just because he wants sex doesn't mean he can paw, at you. Let him sulk or be offended and you can tell him that's pretty unsexy too.
.

As a male I can understand that he may have got carried away for a brief moment. Heat of the moment thing.

Oh, do your XY chromosomes give you a special pass for that @BadgersDen?
Cos you poor little men can't control yourself like adults women can?

Also, get away with your cross-questioning & faux concern.
OP has already volunteered all the info you were after.

If you had bothered reading her updates instead of rushing to mansplain her own feelings & marriage to her, you might have had time to pause before totally embarrassing yourself with this -
He may be horny as its a while since you had sex from what you say, so perhaps you need to discuss that as well - fucking ABJECT apologism for sexual assault.

ex used to do this and it was sometimes quite uncomfortable, so one day i approached in and grabbed his balls. When he came down off the ceiling, I told him thats how it feels to me. I divorced him anyway.

Jeez, the man apologists are out in force! Some advice for them:

1. Read the full thread
2. Then shut up and post somewhere else

In private, I personally wouldn't have a problem with it either. But that's me. The OP has already told her DP that she doesn't like it and she doesn't consent, and he's gone and done it again anyway. That's definitely not affectionate.