To Not Give in to Neighbor's Request for Fence Change?

[Delphinium20]

Need some advice, and apologies for long post, but details needed.

We bought our house a few years ago and have been making garden improvements including walkway, new patio, landscaping and new, modern shed. Neighbors on both sides say how lovely each improvement is, how nice to have someone take care of old house, etc. DH and I are avid gardeners (even written up in local garden articles).

We have two teen DDs, younger DD sometimes plays with neighbor kids to the left of us. This family has six children under age 11 and have their own garden fence. To the right of us are two homes who share a fence (not w/ us). Neighbor kids from both sides run through our yard to play and sometimes have trampled our plants. While we politely remind them to be careful, I don't expect little ones to always remember (I'm not angry w/ children being children!).We have a lot of rabbits in our area and they've destroyed a number of our beloved plants (even ate the rose bushes). Essentially, we are the only house w/out a fence around our garden, sooo...we planned a garden fence of roughly 1.5 m that would contain our garden, and also form a natural boundary so kids won't run through. We have an open front garden (and front walkway) that kids can still use to get from one house to the next, so we aren't cutting anyone off from visiting friends.

We own the drive that separates us from our neighbors to the left, and their home is a bit lower in elevation than ours. We told everyone over a year ago when landscapers would come in the spring to build the fence. They came Monday to start building and it looks lovely.

Yesterday, our neighbor mom of the six kids came crying (literally) to me that she's devastated about this fence because her kids love our yard so much and they love running through it and as we are higher elevation, our fence makes it impossible to watch her kids from her lower yard. She is 'shocked' she wasn't consulted about the design. Her DH called my DH to demand we take it down.

DH and I refused. We know we are within our rights by law to this fence. Everyone ELSE already has a garden fence. We aren't responsible for accommodating her parenting needs. We desire more privacy, rabbit-free garden and a boundary to keep kids from plants. Should we give in to demands to keep the peace? She's obviously distressed, but her DH has been a jerk in the past, so we fear this is clouding our position to stay firm.

She’s a CF

Everyone’s put up a fence because they don’t want her kids running riot depending on what type of neighbour she is I’d be tempted to put a F off stake in the grass too

I would say to her look I understand you are upset but I have checked and it’s perfectly legal for me to put up a fence and I only decided to put it and give your reasons calmly. Why don’t her children play in their own garden. I would say we are wanting to sell up so we will be doing some more work the house and garden you can take this up with the new owners once we move out but the fence will stay. Because the children keep running through the garden I would make it a health and safety issue with her saying I don’t want accident in my garden. What’s wrong with these people telling you what to do if the role was reversed they probably wouldn’t be as nice. Let us know how you go on I personally would put up under largest fence I could as you
deserve some privacy and peace and quiet get that into the conversation with her too.

I had an issue with neighbours at previous house - boundary fence (their responsibility) between us blew down and they refused to replace it. There was a three foot drop between their front path and mine. My neighbour actually implied that it was my responsibility to replace in case her 3 year old grandson were to fall from her garden to mine. I neither responded nor replaced the fence, it was still missing when I moved several years later

Ignore them on every aspect of this and be polite about everything else. If they have zero legal rights then they are bat shit crazy.

If they take you to court ask them to take 3 other fences into account

Since they're in the habit of using your garden as access, make sure it's not easy for her kids to climb over it.
Your contractor should be able to make any required changes to the design now.
Once the habit is broken hopefully they'll just get used to the new normal.

Stand firm

Okay, seeing the diagram makes it all the more baffling why this affects her watching her own children. The only place they can be where she can see them anyway is your yard. Once you have the fence completed they won’t be within it!
good for you for setting that boundary! Hold your ground.

Is there a covenant on the property saying that your garden must be open? It may be different outside the UK, but here there are often clauses on deeds restricting some things such as fences.

You are being unreasonable posting on this forum asking for advice rather than an American one, since way of life and living next to neighbours, property laws, fencing customs, rules and social assumptions and norms are all different.

You are in the right. Do what you need to in order to get those fences up.

You do realise that people from all over the world use this site and can give advice - even AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE HERE!!!! Who may even, prepare yourself, be able to give advice on American law 😱

Who would have thought it?!

Yep… I’m an Aussie and totally able to separate the cultural differences and the concept.

For those with comprehension issues, OP lives in USA. She lives in a house with a big garden that is unfenced one side. Neighbour has been encouraging her kids to roam free, giving zero shits about the damage done to OP’s much-loved garden. OP politely informed Neighbour that she intended to build a fence. (Zero kid-shaming and blaming.) Neighbour is now upset as her herd of wildebeests will now be corralled into a much smaller space, and OP will be able to enjoy the peaceful enjoyment of her own garden. (The one currently being labeled “Our Garden” by entitled Neighbour.
it’s not rocket science. Building a fence is the only way to go. There are no legal reasons why this is not possible. Neighbour is now trying to enlist the sympathy of the contractor hired by OP to lower the height of the fence by crying at the poor sap who just turned up to do a job he’s being paid for.

NDN and NDN DH are utterly bonkers!!

Yanbu to erect a fence and infact are doing it to keep her very children out of your lovely hard worked garden!!

She doesn't need to see them in your garden from her yard- she can watch them IN her yard!!

If she's sad she can no longer see your lovely garden, she can work on her garden to improve it.

Unbelievable that she has a fenced in back garden but is angry and manipulative at you wanting to have the same. What's her (garden) is hers but what's yours is hers too!!!
Utterly bonkers

You don't need to listen to her manipulations nor do the contractors. They can ask her to go speak to someone else as they are working. They can ignore her. You can ignore her

The very English response would be "Don't be ridiculous Marjorie"

I hope you keep ignoring them and the NDNs give up asking you now.

If her children start climbing your fence then you'll have to put trellis at the top to increase height, or that extra panel you spoke about.

We had a gate when we were little. Lockable from our side 😃 Maybe a compromise. My dad let me plants some plants by the gate and choose some stepping stones and some hideous animal ornaments.

Gate to next doors garden that is

Sorry you’re not happy but I’m looking forward to being able to sunbathe topless out there :-)

No we're they're not. 😂

But why should she compromise? The neighbours kids are not careful and have no legal right to use her garden.

Tell her you will take it down so she can see her feral children but only if she oats you £200 a month for insurance (in case of her chiltmren having an accident in your garden), new plants and grass where her children hqve caused damage. And you want it up front for the year - £2400. She will change her tune. Friend had similar problem and neighbour was given this option and decided fence was a great idea.

Great comment - I agree about her wearing me down.

HER garden is already fenced!!!

That would make it look very odd as the design is curved and has walkways through the garden beds...it just wouldn't work with the layout of the garden.