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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fuming at this guy in the supermarket

502 replies

Speckledhen2022 · 13/06/2022 18:42

I was in the supermarket this evening and I went to pick up a bottle of fabric conditioner. It was from a good brand and very cheap on offer. A big bottle for a cheap price. It was also the last one of that particular fragrance on the shelf. As I reached out to take it from the shelf, I had almost got it when a guy came by the side of me and grabbed it. He then went over to a girl who I presume was his girlfriend and gave it to her. Presumably, she has asked him to get it for her. I was absolutely fuming. I picked my jaw up off the floor said 'You fucking cunt' and walked off.

AIBU for saying that?

OP posts:
FlissyPaps · 14/06/2022 20:28

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 13:50

Did I say it was? It is not fucking fair that I never got that

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Being bitter, resentful and jealous is not going to change things or make you feel any better about yourself OP.

You categorically can not use the “I have been bullied by men for years” card as an excuse to call someone a “fucking cunt” to their face over FABRIC CONDITIONER.

Can you honestly not see how entitled, rude and bitter you are coming across?

Women on the whole get treated like shit from men. It’s conditioned from society. Being on the receiving end does not give you the right to verbally abuse someone in a supermarket over something so bloody trivial.

Seek help. Whether that’s self help or professional therapy.

I hope to God I don’t run into you whilst I’m doing my weekly shop.

tttigress · 14/06/2022 20:32

Are you sure it really happened like that?

Or did he just pickup a bottle you were pondering buying?

Jakeyachey · 14/06/2022 20:36

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 20:06

A guy was vile to me for no reason. He laughed because I used to be fat and wore glasses. He said I was ugly, fat and disgusting and no one would ever want me. He used to date this girl who he loved. He took her skiing, on holiday yet he treated me like that

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But that’s on him right? And doesn’t justify calling randoms fucking cunts in supermarkets?

I have to be honest, I don’t get the whole holiday thing you keep posting about, but so understand holidays is a big thing for you. As you keep referring to it.

MissStarry · 14/06/2022 20:43

There has to be more to it than a random guy was an arsehole and hurt you, but then was nice to a girl he was seeing? Who was he and why was this so important to you?

People are complex - one person’s wanker is another’s golden bollocks.

You can’t take from this one situ that men have been bullying you your whole life can you? Are you very young? If not then please address this somehow so you’re in a happier place.

If not, then in the immortal words of an unknown random New Zealander on Karl pilkington : “toughen up snowflake” (nb I’m a millennial (just 🤣) so not a criticism or wanting to be judgemental) as generally think there’s either much more to it, or you just need to move on from judging everyone from the poor standards you’ve known so far as most people are generally ok.

Apart from that Daz.. he IS a fucking cunt!!!

Original poster
Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 20:43

Jakeyachey · 14/06/2022 20:36

But that’s on him right? And doesn’t justify calling randoms fucking cunts in supermarkets?

I have to be honest, I don’t get the whole holiday thing you keep posting about, but so understand holidays is a big thing for you. As you keep referring to it.

Show quote history

I have always wanted to go on holiday with a guy and it hurts so much that I could never have that. What happened with that guy in the supermarket remind me of how well guys treat their girlfriends but were always vile to me. I snapped and said it to him because of that.

OP posts:
SmartCarDriver · 14/06/2022 20:45

I have always wanted to go on holiday with a guy and it hurts so much that I could never have that. What happened with that guy in the supermarket remind me of how well guys treat their girlfriends but were always vile to me. I snapped and said it to him because of that.

Totally ridiculous behaviour by you! Sorry, but you need to address this.

Original poster
Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 20:48

MissStarry · 14/06/2022 20:43

There has to be more to it than a random guy was an arsehole and hurt you, but then was nice to a girl he was seeing? Who was he and why was this so important to you?

People are complex - one person’s wanker is another’s golden bollocks.

You can’t take from this one situ that men have been bullying you your whole life can you? Are you very young? If not then please address this somehow so you’re in a happier place.

If not, then in the immortal words of an unknown random New Zealander on Karl pilkington : “toughen up snowflake” (nb I’m a millennial (just 🤣) so not a criticism or wanting to be judgemental) as generally think there’s either much more to it, or you just need to move on from judging everyone from the poor standards you’ve known so far as most people are generally ok.

Apart from that Daz.. he IS a fucking cunt!!!

That guy had sex with me once and then didn't want to know me. It was about a year ago. He called me all those names and said no one would want me. I looked at the way he loved his ex girlfriend. He took her places like skiing and on a trip of Europe. He loved her very much. But it's not just him, guys have always been horrible to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 20:51

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 20:48

That guy had sex with me once and then didn't want to know me. It was about a year ago. He called me all those names and said no one would want me. I looked at the way he loved his ex girlfriend. He took her places like skiing and on a trip of Europe. He loved her very much. But it's not just him, guys have always been horrible to me.

Show quote history

By 'that guy' I meant a guy I briefly knew a year ago, not the one in the supermarket

OP posts:
SmartCarDriver · 14/06/2022 20:51

@Speckledhen2022 taking a girlfriend on holiday is not the be all and end all or prove a good relationship.

Also men and women are equal, they went on holiday together, the girlfriend was not "taken"!

Jakeyachey · 14/06/2022 20:53

I have always wanted to go on holiday with a guy and it hurts so much that I could never have that. What happened with that guy in the supermarket remind me of how well guys treat their girlfriends but were always vile to me. I snapped and said it to him because of that”

im sorry it’s so bad for you, and I hope you can find some peace.

i would comment that you don’t come across as very nice, and I fully accept your life experience may have made you and unpleasant person, but not being very nice can result In no one wishing to be with you. Like attracts like. I’m sorry but it does,

Original poster
Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 20:53

SmartCarDriver · 14/06/2022 20:51

@Speckledhen2022 taking a girlfriend on holiday is not the be all and end all or prove a good relationship.

Also men and women are equal, they went on holiday together, the girlfriend was not "taken"!

He told me that he took her to the travel agent because he really wanted to go on holiday with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 20:55

Jakeyachey · 14/06/2022 20:53

I have always wanted to go on holiday with a guy and it hurts so much that I could never have that. What happened with that guy in the supermarket remind me of how well guys treat their girlfriends but were always vile to me. I snapped and said it to him because of that”

im sorry it’s so bad for you, and I hope you can find some peace.

i would comment that you don’t come across as very nice, and I fully accept your life experience may have made you and unpleasant person, but not being very nice can result In no one wishing to be with you. Like attracts like. I’m sorry but it does,

Guys always bullied and picked on me when I did nothing to them.

OP posts:
Jakeyachey · 14/06/2022 20:56

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 20:55

Guys always bullied and picked on me when I did nothing to them.

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Do you know why? It’s not the norm. So do you know why you went with this sort of man?

MissStarry · 14/06/2022 20:58

He sounds like a particularly bad apple imo- you deserve better then him and his horrible ways, you can rise above his shitty treatment of you and elevate yourself so you’re (rightfully) looking down on him and how pathetic and gross little gollum he is to behave like this towards you or anyone else.

Be thankful he revealed himself as the revolting specimen immediately- do you know why him snd “ski holiday” ex broke up? Because it could well have been a protracted version of what you experienced snd so not worthy of the higher emotional investment she has made in him by the relationship developing further.

Whatever happened, it’s not something you need to think about or trouble yourself with. Just realise that just because there’s been some shitty experiences with specific individuals, most people aren’t acting maliciously (selfish etc is more common - not saying that’s ideal but objectively true).

MissStarry · 14/06/2022 20:59

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 20:53

He told me that he took her to the travel agent because he really wanted to go on holiday with her.

Show quote history

He was saying this to grind your gears as he accurately knew it’d hurt you.

Original poster
Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 20:59

Jakeyachey · 14/06/2022 20:56

Do you know why? It’s not the norm. So do you know why you went with this sort of man?

Show quote history

They always mocked me because I was fat with glasses and had bad fashion sense. I guess they thought it was funny or something.

OP posts:
Original poster
Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 21:03

MissStarry · 14/06/2022 20:58

He sounds like a particularly bad apple imo- you deserve better then him and his horrible ways, you can rise above his shitty treatment of you and elevate yourself so you’re (rightfully) looking down on him and how pathetic and gross little gollum he is to behave like this towards you or anyone else.

Be thankful he revealed himself as the revolting specimen immediately- do you know why him snd “ski holiday” ex broke up? Because it could well have been a protracted version of what you experienced snd so not worthy of the higher emotional investment she has made in him by the relationship developing further.

Whatever happened, it’s not something you need to think about or trouble yourself with. Just realise that just because there’s been some shitty experiences with specific individuals, most people aren’t acting maliciously (selfish etc is more common - not saying that’s ideal but objectively true).

He broke up with his ex because she moved far away for work. He treated her s well. He loved and cared for her a lot. Yet he treated me terribly.

OP posts:
SmartCarDriver · 14/06/2022 21:05

@Speckledhen2022 how long were you with this guy? You slept together once, yet seem to know everything about just previous relationship?

Chaoslatte · 14/06/2022 21:07

You need to work on building your self-esteem. It sounds harsh but sometimes people get into the victim mindset, like a dog waiting to be kicked, and people can sense that and then target you because they know it will be easy.

Original poster
Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 21:09

SmartCarDriver · 14/06/2022 21:05

@Speckledhen2022 how long were you with this guy? You slept together once, yet seem to know everything about just previous relationship?

We knew each other a few weeks before sleeping together. I slept with him because I had rock bottom self esteem and I wanted a boyfriend. He told me all about his ex girlfriend without me even asking. He showed me photos of their holiday, their ski trip, showed me pictures of her, said how much he had loved her

OP posts:
MissStarry · 14/06/2022 21:09

Not all countrymen are equal [in the eyes of another] You’ll meet someone who’ll love you and wouldn’t look twice at her- not that it matters if you trust them. But keep an open mind and heart moving forward and whilst it wasn’t right with you and this “gent” nor was t right for him and his ex, as if it was, they’d be together and a path which separated them wouldn’t be contemplated.

SmartCarDriver · 14/06/2022 21:11

We knew each other a few weeks before sleeping together. I slept with him because I had rock bottom self esteem and I wanted a boyfriend. He told me all about his ex girlfriend without me even asking. He showed me photos of their holiday, their ski trip, showed me pictures of her, said how much he had loved her

Get help with your self esteem, stop analysing and hating men that have girlfriends, stop calling random men fucking cunts!

MissStarry · 14/06/2022 21:13

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 21:09

We knew each other a few weeks before sleeping together. I slept with him because I had rock bottom self esteem and I wanted a boyfriend. He told me all about his ex girlfriend without me even asking. He showed me photos of their holiday, their ski trip, showed me pictures of her, said how much he had loved her

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Maybe you were hoping he’d pick up where he left off? Life isn’t that simple- there has to be the chemistry and connection otherwise it’s formulaic - I think spread the net wider and forget him

Original poster
Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 21:17

MissStarry · 14/06/2022 21:13

Maybe you were hoping he’d pick up where he left off? Life isn’t that simple- there has to be the chemistry and connection otherwise it’s formulaic - I think spread the net wider and forget him

Show quote history

I was hoping he would treat me that same but he didn't. He said no one would ever want me

OP posts:
Original poster
Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 21:21

SmartCarDriver · 14/06/2022 21:11

We knew each other a few weeks before sleeping together. I slept with him because I had rock bottom self esteem and I wanted a boyfriend. He told me all about his ex girlfriend without me even asking. He showed me photos of their holiday, their ski trip, showed me pictures of her, said how much he had loved her

Get help with your self esteem, stop analysing and hating men that have girlfriends, stop calling random men fucking cunts!

I am angry and upset because they are vile to me but treat other girls so nicely. Obviously these other girls must have something that I don't have

OP posts: