Fuming at this guy in the supermarket

[Speckledhen2022]

I was in the supermarket this evening and I went to pick up a bottle of fabric conditioner. It was from a good brand and very cheap on offer. A big bottle for a cheap price. It was also the last one of that particular fragrance on the shelf. As I reached out to take it from the shelf, I had almost got it when a guy came by the side of me and grabbed it. He then went over to a girl who I presume was his girlfriend and gave it to her. Presumably, she has asked him to get it for her. I was absolutely fuming. I picked my jaw up off the floor said 'You fucking cunt' and walked off.

AIBU for saying that?

Totally agree, the way to "beat" the people that have mistreated you in the past, is to work to get over what they did and lead a happy life.

Don't let them dictate your future happiness.

You tell me to get some help. All the help in the world is not going to make men stop being vile to me whether it is to impress their chick or not. I never understood why men always bullied/mocked/shoved/laughed at me and some other girl got treated well. Never understood that one.

Well I can't have future happiness if men are always vile to me, can I? I won't be able to get married, have the children I always wanted etc.

He was a total cunt and wanted telling. Well done, its not always easy to stand up for yourself, especially against cunting men.

I am angry because men have been vile to me all my life

In that case, OP, it's definitely something you've got to sort out in your own mind. The fabric conditioner guy wasn't wrenching it from your hands as a trophy for his fabulous girlfriend. He wasn't thinking about you at all. He just grabbed the product and gave it to his partner/wife/whatever to put in the trolley. It wasn't yet another instance of someone deliberately setting out to bully or hurt you. Your reaction was completely disproportionate to the man's "crime". If I had witnessed it, I'd have thought you were either unhinged, dangerous or very, very damaged.

In what way do you feel that men and their girlfriends have set out to make you unhappy? What makes you think that all men are cunts and all their girlfriends are horrible?

But there’s a difference between ‘can’t’ and ‘won’t’.

You are worth more than this OP. By investing in your self worth and your own value, others will believe you are worth it too.

Well I can't have future happiness if men are always vile to me, can I? I won't be able to get married, have the children I always wanted etc.

You are being your own worst enemy, I think. You won't be able to get married and have children if you can't deal with your limiting beliefs. You won't be able to see when men are kind towards you. You know, two people reaching for the same item at the same time could have been a cute moment of connection - I know in this particular case, he had a gf, but you see what I mean? What if you could have had a laugh with him about it? If you can learn to look at things a different way, then new possibilities start to emerge. I do agree with pp that some therapy might help you.

I agree that therapy might be useful for you OP to feel more positive and to reach for that life and future that you deserve.

What is your own theory about why men are consistently vile to you?

I don't really know why they have always been vile to me. Other women must have some magical property which means they get a nice boyfriend, taken on good dates, taken on holiday.

This one guy said that I deserve a broken nose and that he would love to see me get a smack in the face. Yet he treated his girlfriend to skiing trips, holidays, present and he clearly loved her very much. Obviously I wasn't deserving of any of that.

It is not made up

I think the way this man acted was incredibly rude and you were absolutely right to be angry.

Personally I would have said something in the line ''Hey! I was just about to grab this...'' and tried to shame him into giving it back.

I live in London and frankly it is not unusual for people to be quite sweary as it is such a busy and pressured environment. I must say I have used quite a few swear words myself when faced with some inconsiderate idiot, male or female, in place like public transport or shops.

I think the pearl clutchers who are criticising you have either lived a very sheltered life or are being rather hypocritical by portraying themselves as permanently serene paragons of virtue who never lose their cool...

I never said he did it to bully me. He was being rude to me to get something for her. I think that because men have always been nasty to me. This guy told me to 'get out of the way' for no reason but then he took some other girl I know out on a date and was good to her

Over the top massively... did he hear you 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

OP looking at your updates yeah I'd be miffed if he knew you were going to grab it and he quickly did! Who does that... but I wouldn't have said c**t.. I can barely type it, hate the word.

You really need to talk this through with someone. Have you spoke to your gp about getting some therapy about how you feel? The incident in the supermarket has clearly triggered your past experiences with men, and maybe you can work through things with someone you can talk to and trust.

Consider it a great escape. Fabric conditioners are work of Stink-Devil and should be banned under Geneva Conventions.

😂You made me laugh! I bet he didn't expect that reaction!

I would really strongly recommend CBT to help you with this belief.

OP, a lot of people don't have enough to eat atm and you're throwing a tantrum in a supermarket because someone beat you to the fabric softener you wanted?

Unless this is some sort of unfunny obscure joke, you need to get a grip.

That's a massive over-reaction! Jesus. It's conditioner. Calm the hell down.

@Speckledhen2022 did something happen along the lines of a guy you really liked (or went out with) ended up with going out with a female who was a childhood bully and then they both enjoyed rubbing your face in it? And he took her on a ski trip?

Because if so (or similar), they both sound like arseholes! And not the kind of people you need to let affect your life moving forward with ♥️

A guy was vile to me for no reason. He laughed because I used to be fat and wore glasses. He said I was ugly, fat and disgusting and no one would ever want me. He used to date this girl who he loved. He took her skiing, on holiday yet he treated me like that

No, I have never spoken to the GP. I don't think a GP would want to listen. They would think it was trivial.