To expect people to be able to control their children on planes?

[Ace56]

I recently returned from a long haul trip with connecting flights, so was on 5 planes altogether.

On 4 of these flights I was around children who’s parents just seemed to pussyfoot around them and seemed unable to control them.

Flight 1 - mum and 2 kids in the row in front of me. Dad across the aisle, plonks himself down on his laptop for the entire flight. Little boy (around 2-3) EXTREMELY loud, continuous shrieking, disrupting his sister. They had brought nothing for him to do - no iPad/colouring/books, so no wonder he was bored. Just shrieked constantly to get mum’s attention. Dad did absolutely nothing to help, didn’t offer to take him. Neither took him for a walk down the aisle or anything - he literally was in his seat the entire flight, absolutely bored shitless and disturbing everyone around him.

Flight 2 - girl of about 3 sitting behind me, next to mum. Dad across the aisle. Was fine during the flight but kept switching between mum and dad, and taking it in turns to sit on their lap watching her iPad. When it came to landing, she still wanted to switch every few mins. Air hostess politely told them a few times that she needs to be seated now for landing. Parents meekly tried to make her sit still with one of them but eventually gave up, so for the actual landing she ended up in the aisle (very dangerous) with mum holding onto her T-shirt. Air hostesses were seated at this point so couldn’t do anything/didn’t notice.

Flight 3 - boy of about 5 in front of me, standing up in his seat, leaning back into the seat, generally jumping around. Mum apologised but made no real attempt to stop him.

Flight 4 - large extended family sitting in various places around the plane. Children allowed to shout at each other across rows and over people’s heads, not told to stop once.

AIBU to despair at parenting these days if this is the norm? Have other people come across situations like this or was I just very unlucky?!

Do you have children?

I have children
YANBU.

Flights are boring for kids but that is no excuse to let them run riot.

You are not being unreasonable.

Well I'm always more shocked by the adult behaviour

YANBU

YANBU. I am a parent of two small kids and understand the challenges but some parents are just hopeless and so entitled.
I was in a swim class this morning for our 2 year olds and one mum went up and asked for a change of noodle THREE TIMES as her child ‘kept changing their mind’. If you allow this kind of behaviour they think they can call the shots. Insane!

YANBU but I also think that too many people are very intolerant of even some small noise from generally very well behaved children. Generally, I think most parents are doing great but small children are hard and a noise can escape even the offspring of the most zealous and organised and prepared parent.

Just waiting for all the “you obviously don’t have children” “kids will be kids” “kids are human beings too and should be respected” posters 😂

YANBU, the fact that 33% of posters have voted that you are shows what a snowflake, batshit crazy world we live in now and I dread to think what entitled, inconsiderate, rude arseholes there children are going to grow up to be.

I don't think YABU. No one expects children to sit in perfect silence and I don't think you're saying they should but they shouldn't be climbing on seats and when it comes to safety such as sitting down during landing it should be non-negotiable - I'd have made mine sit down for that and everyone would have just had to cope with any resulting tantrum for the short time it was necessary to be seated/belted in.

In all of those examples though, it's down to the adults for not being prepared with games/snacks/travel activities and for not taking a firmer line. However, in the age of social media and people happy to film and share any judgement-worthy behaviour they see, I can understand why some parents are reluctant to be hard line in public lest someone films it and puts it on FB with the caption "look at this person on my flight being horrible to their kid".

So if you don't, your opinion is worthless?

What difference does it make? We're talking about children, not chimps.

I'd have made mine sit down for that and everyone would have just had to cope with any resulting tantrum for the short time it was necessary to be seated/belted in.

that would piss some of though..

I think I'd have been justified in saying "tough!" in that instance. I'd prefer to be judged for actually parenting and making my child follow a safety rule than be judged for not.

But my point is some would judge you for not doing the safety thing & some would rather your kid was quiet & not care about your kids seatbelt & judge you for that.

On a recent - thankfully short haul - flight there were 2 toddlers screaming their heads off. Even the roar of the engines on take off wasn’t enough to drown them out. Poor little things must have been scared.

It’s really not as hard as people make it out to be!

YANBU.

I honestly would pay extra for child free flights if such a thing were possible.

Surely it depends on the dc? mine have never suffered with ears thankfully. We live close to the airport, get a taxi & travel at good times, which all helps. Other families may not have these options.

I honestly would pay extra for child free flights if such a thing were possible.

They are a rare species in 1st class!

We were on a row of 4 seats on a plane many years ago.
Dh, me and ds aged 4. A man who looked about 55 and was travelling on his own was on our row.
His face when he saw a small dc was a picture.
Fortunately ds was a very chilled dc and we entertained him quietly, pre devices, with colouring, games etc on the 4 hour flight.
Meanwhile further up the plane a dc was screaming.
When we landed the man said how nice it had been to sit with a well behaved dc. And what a lovely lad he was.
Tbf my dh has always been firm about our dc and now dgc behaving when out at restaurants, on public transport etc.

I have a 3 and 5 year old.

We're going on our first flight in August. Both kids will be sat with me and dad sat a few rows in front / behind (he's in an exit row due to his height)

I'm already prepping them with good behaviour expectations. They will have new toys and lots of food for the flight. They know where they will be sat and that they have to wear seatbelts. They know they can watch a film on the flight etc.

I hope they will cope ok, but I won't be letting them run wild (tbf they don't tend to either)

I expect (and did so myself) parents to attempt to control their children on flights.

Not to do a Ned Flanders parents 'we've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas'. . .

I don't know what challenges they and their children have. But I do expect parents to be aware of the impact of travelling on their children and their fellow travelling inmates, and to try and mitigate the effects on both their children and fellow travellers.

And following safety instructions is non-negotiable.

YANBU