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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect people to be able to control their children on planes?

519 replies

Ace56 · 10/06/2022 17:08

I recently returned from a long haul trip with connecting flights, so was on 5 planes altogether.

On 4 of these flights I was around children who’s parents just seemed to pussyfoot around them and seemed unable to control them.

Flight 1 - mum and 2 kids in the row in front of me. Dad across the aisle, plonks himself down on his laptop for the entire flight. Little boy (around 2-3) EXTREMELY loud, continuous shrieking, disrupting his sister. They had brought nothing for him to do - no iPad/colouring/books, so no wonder he was bored. Just shrieked constantly to get mum’s attention. Dad did absolutely nothing to help, didn’t offer to take him. Neither took him for a walk down the aisle or anything - he literally was in his seat the entire flight, absolutely bored shitless and disturbing everyone around him.

Flight 2 - girl of about 3 sitting behind me, next to mum. Dad across the aisle. Was fine during the flight but kept switching between mum and dad, and taking it in turns to sit on their lap watching her iPad. When it came to landing, she still wanted to switch every few mins. Air hostess politely told them a few times that she needs to be seated now for landing. Parents meekly tried to make her sit still with one of them but eventually gave up, so for the actual landing she ended up in the aisle (very dangerous) with mum holding onto her T-shirt. Air hostesses were seated at this point so couldn’t do anything/didn’t notice.

Flight 3 - boy of about 5 in front of me, standing up in his seat, leaning back into the seat, generally jumping around. Mum apologised but made no real attempt to stop him.

Flight 4 - large extended family sitting in various places around the plane. Children allowed to shout at each other across rows and over people’s heads, not told to stop once.

AIBU to despair at parenting these days if this is the norm? Have other people come across situations like this or was I just very unlucky?!

OP posts:
Whammyyammy · 06/08/2022 14:11

Johnnysgirl · 06/08/2022 14:09

But I really enjoyed seeing the horrified and apprehensice faces of the other Business Class passengers when we got on
You realise that makes you sound like a twat?

Yup

Proudboomer · 06/08/2022 14:15

I flew last month. Only a short flight and not many young children on it but once we landed at Gatwick it was hell with young children seeming to have been let lose in the baggage claim hall. Climbing on the trolleys and playing on the baggage conveyer belt. Don’t the parent realise that the belt might not be moving whilst you wait for the suitcases to be loaded but it will suddenly start as the bags come though and if little River and Willow are running along it the time there is a good change they could be hurt and even if they are not on the belt when people start pulling cases off their heads are at the right height to be whacked with a heavy case.

Dalekjastninerels · 06/08/2022 14:20

My parents were strict- my brother could still be a handful though.

I used to be a bit embarrassed by his tantrums tbh. I am 3 years older.

So I think parents do their best- mine did.

Abraxan · 06/08/2022 14:20

Yanbu, and yes I have a child who was doing long and short haul flights from being a year old.

Flights are boring for children. Some crying or upset it to be expected, as is children having a walk up and down the aisles occasionally, etc. But not jumping up and down, banging other people's seats, shouting constantly and throwing things about.

I'm not saying she was 100% perfect all the time, but we were prepared and organised with toys, games, snacks, etc to distract - and this was before the days of being able to use an iPad or similar. On long haul she would use the TV screen though.

Oh - and headphones for children please (and adults in a couple of occasions) - no one wants to hear someone else's device noise, especially the likes of Peppa Pig and incessant YouTube videos.

And yes - some adults can be annoying in planes too. Luckily I've only had to deal with excess drunkenness from a group once - fortunately the flight crew 'ran out' of alcohol after a while and shut the lights off and they then slept instead of treating the extra leg room space near the exit doors as their own bar area to stand and chat in - if I have paid for that leg room I don't want a bunch of drunk blokes standing there drinking!

lancsgirl85 · 06/08/2022 14:25

Oh - and headphones for children please (and adults in a couple of occasions) - no one wants to hear someone else's device noise, especially the likes of Peppa Pig and incessant YouTube videos.

Have you tried to get a 16 month old baby/toddler to keep headphones on their head?? You're a better person than I am if you can successfully achieve that!

manlyago · 06/08/2022 14:29

@lancsgirl85 so do you let your children watch with the sound on?

Abraxan · 06/08/2022 14:29

lancsgirl85 · 06/08/2022 14:25

Oh - and headphones for children please (and adults in a couple of occasions) - no one wants to hear someone else's device noise, especially the likes of Peppa Pig and incessant YouTube videos.

Have you tried to get a 16 month old baby/toddler to keep headphones on their head?? You're a better person than I am if you can successfully achieve that!

Yes, dd was 16m in her first flight and had headphones for part of it.
When she grew tired of wearing them then the music (was pre iPads) she was listening to was turned off and we gave her an alternative option of distractions.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 06/08/2022 14:31

Johnnysgirl · 06/08/2022 14:09

But I really enjoyed seeing the horrified and apprehensice faces of the other Business Class passengers when we got on
You realise that makes you sound like a twat?

If the kids had turned out to be a nuisance, that might be twattish of me.

As they didn't, no, I don't think it does.

On the other hand, having read some of your other posts, I'm quite chuffed that I sound like a twat to you specifically.

lancsgirl85 · 06/08/2022 14:33

@manlyago

I only have one, she's a baby, only 16 months. She's never used a tablet before and ideally I didn't want her to have one at such a young age, but we have a 5 hour flight next week so I need a way to keep her quiet as possible. The sound will be on so low that it's barely audible. We bought her headphones, struggled to find any that adjusted to the size of her head as she's so little. She repeatedly pulled them off her head and got upset with us putting them back on. So I'm taking them, but I'm not optimistic she will keep them on!

In any case, I imagine the crying that is likely to result from us persisting with headphones would be far more irritating to other passengers than Peppa Pig at a barely audible volume!

HandbagsnGladrags · 06/08/2022 14:36

I don't think some people know how to parent these days and the kids just rule the roost. When mine were little I would have been horrified at the thought of them disturbing or annoying anyone.

On a flight a few years back I had to ask the parent behind me to stop her child from continuously kicking my seat. This was after about an hour of not saying anything. She looked at me furiously and said 'but he's only 3' erm I don't give a fuck, teach him how to behave!

lancsgirl85 · 06/08/2022 14:44

@Abraxan

I'm impressed that you managed to get your baby to keep headphones on. Mine just won't tolerate them at all.

manlyago · 06/08/2022 15:34

@lancsgirl85 i would persevere with the headphones before putting the volume on. You may find once she works out that she can hear with the headphones on that may persuade her. But if you put the volume on without headphones you’ll be stuck.

To be honest I’d rather sit behind a crying toddler that Peppa Pig for 5 hours! We’ve three and have never once had to resort to volume on and have travelled all over the place with them. It wouldn’t occur to me to inflict my electronic noise on others!

lickenchugget · 06/08/2022 15:40

My dc soon worked out it was better to listen to Peppa on headphones than watch it on mute without.

Binkybix · 06/08/2022 15:54

Me and my then baby were once upgraded when a man was being an absolute arsehole to me when he was crying before take off. They asked me if I wanted him removed from the flight, but I took pity!

Obviously a child in the aisle for landing is an absolute no-no.

UniBallEye · 06/08/2022 16:15

It's perfectly possible to travel with children without causing mayhem for the other passengers..
We have travelled extensively with dc from when they were 13 months old & our first trip was to Australia!
This was pre ipads / phones that could be played with.
We went really well prepared with lots of snacks & toys - some familiar & some totally new so there was a novelty factor

One thing I remember being a big success was a mini etch-a-sketch.
Dc could safely & cleanly 'draw' / scribble & then we could reset it & start again.
We have been all over the world with dc & they have always been fine on the planes

We took it in turns to entertain/ focus on dc while the other got to watch a film / read.

It's v annoying when patents sit there like dummies while their kids run riot.

ChagSameachDoreen · 06/08/2022 16:29

Personally I have no qualms about telling other people's children off. Usually it shocks them so much they stay quiet. It's not a popular approach but I don't care.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 06/08/2022 21:07

ChagSameachDoreen · 06/08/2022 16:29

Personally I have no qualms about telling other people's children off. Usually it shocks them so much they stay quiet. It's not a popular approach but I don't care.

So now that you’ve established that ‘..but I don’t care…’ is an acceptable position, presumably you’ll be content if everyone adopts it.

KarmaStar · 06/08/2022 22:45

It's not just on transport,parents are often too lazy or tired of busy or can't be bothered to parent and allow everyone else to suffer not realising the spoilt brats will turn into self important ,self indulgent entitled fools.
But they are the minority.Most parents do their absolute best.🌈

Liorae · 26/08/2022 16:16

WalkingOnTheCracks · 06/08/2022 21:07

So now that you’ve established that ‘..but I don’t care…’ is an acceptable position, presumably you’ll be content if everyone adopts it.

I certainly hope they do with telling off unruly kids in restaurants !

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