To hate it when people say “my husband/partner/boyfriend doesn’t do the night feeds because he works”

[ForestFae]

Every time I see or hear this phrase, I rage. Usually said by some poor sleep deprived new mum who’s looking after the baby/ies all day long. Why is looking after a baby not considered valuable work? Why are men getting away with using this rubbish excuse?

Yes, mine are too now. Which I think makes what we have to say quite relevant, given we are in the position to judge our actions on the outcome rather than the theories.

Why would I want him to go part time, because that would mean I couldn’t be a SAHP…he would’ve been happy to do it if I’d wanted to work.

And if children grow up into happy well adjusted adults having WOHP and attending school rather than having a home educating SAHP then actually both sets of parents have achieved what really matters haven't they?

@ForestFae

My kids are brought up in an optimal way.

Why is ot OK for you to judge me but not for me to question why you don't hold your oh to the sake judgement?

The hypocrisy is strong huh

Indeed. There are many ways to get there, I just don’t think exposing your kids to what society deems “normal” is actually beneficial and I don’t think many “well adjusted” individuals are actually well adjusted. But you’re free to disagree with that.

oh dear, resorting to homophobic insults. Homophobic parents really aren’t optimal.

@ForestFae

Why does it bother you so much that I do more work than you?

Its not impossible for someone to work harder than you. You dont even know what I do

You should want your oh to go part time because you keep saying that parenting is do valuable and so important

Why are you ok with him missing out on that?

What I don't understand is why so many women decide not to go back to full time work, given that it's often portrayed as such a privilege on here. 🤔

@TruthHertz

What I dont understand is why so many men decide not to be a sahp, given that it's often portrayed as such a privilege on here. 🤔

I’m openly bisexual, any other assumptions you want to make about me?

I don’t think many “well adjusted” individuals are actually well adjusted.

How do you define it then? Do tell.

It would be very very strange for someone who isn’t homophobic to use a homophobic slur to insult someone.

”get bent” is not a slur, especially if the person saying it is queer themselves.

I’m done with this now, argue amongst yourselves. I’m happy that my kids are raised the way I want them to be raised and that I actually get to sleep at night, and have a husband who values my role. By all means, you can keep your DHs that don’t share the night feeds and your careers - you’re welcome to them!

Get bent is very much a homophobic slur, to pretend it isn’t is a bit bizarre really, and no, there isn’t a get out of jail card when using a slur.

@ForestFae

The point you seem to be missing is that our ohs do share parenting and value our careers and our role as parents

Not our fault you couldn't cope with both or that your oh doesn't value parenting enough to do more of it.

Because most women don't want to relinquish that role. On the other hand, I've never met a bloke who would be against his partner working full time. Usually, it's just that the man's salary is enough to cover them both so he says they don't need to work if they don't want to (and they're often more than happy to oblige).

When a man is a SAHP or the lower earner his chances of being divorced skyrocket. The statistics show that women don't seem to like a reversal of roles despite paying lip service to political correctness.

Sounds to me like the OP is well pissed off that WOHP also raise children who grow up into contented, resilient, caring adults.

@TruthHertz

Yeah.

Hoarding like I said while yakking on about valuable parenting is

No it's not. 😂

People have been using the phrase since the 50s, way before 'bent' meant 'gay'.

Any chance of a translation? 😂

@TruthHertz

What do you need translated?

Lots of women claim to think that the role of sahm is very very valuable

But when its suggested of i

Sorry

Suggested if it was that valuable then their oh should do it they get all offended

Women are as bad for sexism as men

Its why we'll never have equality

OK. I'm in agreement.

And Gaylord is a name. Still offensive homophobic slur in modern times.