to hate that MIL brings all her coffee stuff when she visits?

[classicnegroni]

It drives me mad. DH and I are both quite into coffee so it’s not like we just have a jar of five year old instant coffee brought out for guests. We have a coffee grinder, espresso machine, French press and V60 dripper, as well as coffee beans from our local roasters and a bag of pre-ground. If I were a MNetter’s DH I’d probably be called a coffee wanker!! She is welcome to use any of it. But she always brings a load of stuff with her and clutters up the counter with it (I hate having clutter out on the counter, but there’s not room in the cupboard for this extra stuff and she’d just move it back to the counter anyway).

I’d understand bringing a bag of decaf, though we’d happily buy it for her, but most of what she brings is equipment we have anyway and caffeinated coffee, which we have plenty of also. It’s brought with an air of what we have isn’t good enough which is pissing me off too. I wouldn’t dream of doing this at my friends’ houses, even the one whose ancient jar of instant coffee was so solidified it would have taken a chisel to remove the coffee! I just drink the coffee they have or don’t drink coffee. So AIBU not to want to have my counters cluttered with someone else’s coffee crap or am I being too grumpy?

I bring my own filter paper, dripper and coffee when I visit my ILs because I don't like the coffee they buy and they use a French press, which I hate. AFAIK they don't have a problem with it! I am quite particular about my coffee, honestly my morning coffee is a highlight of my day and I want it to be right.

My parents bring their own coffee beans from their local roasters when they visit me, and my FIL brings his own extra strong teabags. It's family, I really don't think it's weird.

That being said, bringing a Chemex seems OTT because a Chemex and the V60 are practically the same thing' The mugs are bizarre too. Surely anyone can cope with no having their favourite mug. Maybe she's just really attached to her routine?

This wouldn't bother me at all. Are you looking to be offended because you don't like her?

Some people enjoy the routine or ritual and that is as important as the output.

I also bring my own bedding kit. It has nothing to do with the host at all.

My mum used to bring her dinner when babysitting. We would happily have given her/brought in what she wanted, but no.

She broker her arm recently at 87 - so on ready meals and complaining (and complaining that my DB wouldnt cook meals that she liked). I took over home cooked food that I thought my DC and she would like. No. (DC perfectly happy and will vocalise if not OK).

So DC decided to bake recently (aagh!) - I guess as a backlash to exams! My mum took 1 look - I said DC made this for you, not me, and she said thank god.

So fantastic - I will no longer never ever need to cook for my mum again!!

Regarding coffee: I am a coffee wanker. All day every day. If I am offered coffee, and see instant, I immediately say so sorry changed mind tea would be lovely. Backfired when I visited a family and Earl Grey was their norm! Is that coffee karma?

Did you marry Tim Horton's grandson?

If she has, I can understand why the MIL doesn't want to drink their coffee!

Mil used to bring bedding, coffee , tea, breakfast things, fruit and cake.She would say it was as to help me but really she hated the lack of control associated with staying away from home.She would only come for a few days at a time so I accepted it on the grounds that otherwise we wouldn't get to see her.Does it matter?

My husband's vegan friends always phone in advance to make sure we have vegan food choices available for them and decaffeinated coffee. Now, I would be fucking delighted if they bought their own stuff! They also make demands like 'don't make vegan lasagne because not may people can make it right' and 'we would rather you didn't eat meat and dairy products while we are staying.'

Note I say husband's friends, not mine. I either arrange to work long shifts while they are here or go and visit my sister for a week.

No, it's really important to have your hot drink in your favourite cup, it's a ritual!

I like gin.
🍸

Why does nobody communicate? If my mother in law turned up with something peculiar, I'd ask her why and she'd tell me!

I can't imagine seething about something and imagining all kinds of pass agg weirdness but not actually finding out.

Ask her. Find the humour in it and do it that way.

If you were my Mum I'd be annoyed!!

Annoyed that you hadn't told me you'd like a mocha pot for your coffee at mine!

my Mum lives overseas & due to covid (and me going there last before that) hasn't been for a few years. I have a large coffee plunger & 2 travel plungers, mugs she likes (straight sides, fine China) & mugs we take when travelling. Glasses too. Plus other bits that make her feel at home & happy. I could put a box of it all in the loft, until she visits again -sadly at 80 now I don't think will be able to 😭😭) it I actually like seeing her bits & bibs around the house!

@classicnegroni obviously you don't have to feel so sentimental & she sounds like a bit of a pain in the arse, but I'd just get a tray -so it's contained, & leave her to it.

if it was my EX MIL I'd mix the coffee with Arsnic, my previous 'Mil' could have brought a zoo and I wouldn't have minded one bit.

you don't like her, if it was t this us would be something else pissing you off! Coffee is relatively easy to ignore!!

Initially I thought you weren’t being unreasonable as thought you meant she was popping round a few times a week to see you and bringing the kitchen sink for a social call.

If she’s staying with you a few times a year, let her bring her stuff and enjoy herself.

Bring it up in conversation and ask if she would like to try your coffee maker/coffee. But if she prefers what she has and her routine, let her to it.

Hello! This is my scan at 14 weeks + 1 day . The nub techs have predicted 98% boy what do you think, have you used them? We are a big family and have boys and girls and obviously health is most important! I just like to get an idea before the 20 week scan . I was thinking boy anyway as I've always been more sick with my 5 daughters than my 3 boys , HG with one daughter. However our last 4 babies have been girls so it's hard to imagine I could carry another Boy now I've got so used to pink!

But whyyyyyyy have 3 coffee snobs not had a long conversation about just how they have their coffee, and why it is better than anyone else's coffee.

I'm so sorry I'm new on this today I thought I was creating my on thread! Apologies again!

Congratulations. Is there a connection to coffee?😁

😂thank you! No there isn't... I thought I was uploading my own thread I'm new on this and pressed the wrong button somehow!? To the poster I can't be of much help but say I have a very on off relationship with my MIL she does things like this she had 6 kids . We now have 8 so I know what I'm doing but she seems to think she knows best. Not that it has anything to do with coffee but she's always bringing loads of stuff over if she thinks my youngest doesn't have enough toys hanging on her cot or something.. just think alot of MIL's for some reason think they have to look down their children's partner.!?

Seems a bit OTT to bring a whole machine but I do understand bringing stuff to someone else's house.

Last visit to my mum's I took my own instant coffee because I prefer it to their instant coffee. I took the whole jar which to be fair doesn't take up that much room but I have taken my mini blender before to make smoothies which clutters up their side a bit. Not ideal I'm sure but they want me to stay so I take my crap and it's not exactly long term. I've been known to take my cup too but they seem to have got bigger cups now so I don't need to thankfully, I get worried about breaking mine.

When my mum stays here she brings her own pillows because she says mine are shit. I don't disagree but I think hers are too "full" I don't bat an eyelid, she takes them upstairs and I never see them again until she leaves.

My MIL brings a whole picnic if she visits for babysitting duties either day/overnight. Again I leave her to it, they are more than welcome to stuff in my fridge/freezer but I understand they like their own stuff and don't want to eat my food despite doing me a favour.

I can totally understand how this would niggle you but it's not long term so just bite your tongue and ignore it. If she ever moves in then you have a problem 😱

I’d turn to gin too if I had a house full of tedious coffee nobbers.

It's not about coffee or even kitchen counter space, is it?
You'd think she was fussy peculiar or merely eccentric if you liked her otherwise.

Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey. The only possible answer to this is to put the poor woman out of her misery with a shovel and then bury her under the patio.

Ps. I am joking. My mum has no taste either and uses WHITENER in coffee!

😱

Christ. In 10 years time I could be that MIL.

I love my morning coffee routine. I find it comforting. It’s like a little meditation in the morning.

I take my coffee stuff with me if going on holiday, or staying a few days at my parent’s or brother’s.

I would only take it to places where I felt welcome and at home though, so don’t worry she might not do it much longer.

I think she’s doing it to compete with you op. Does she get competitive with you in other areas at all?

I didn't realise people were so weirdly into coffee that having a cup in the morning would be the highlight of their day 😳

misses point of thread

I'm happy with my Mellow Birds 😂 (runs and hides)