Asked to cosign

[Boxowine]

My DS's girlfriend has been accepted into a very prestigious (and very expensive) post graduate program in New York City. Housing costs there are astronomical. My DS plans to spend the year there with her. He asked me today if I would cosign for their accommodation. I'm not sure yet what that would be but it is separate from the University as they have limited school housing. I would normally tell someone to say no but she may not be able to go if she can't find a place to live.

AIBU to say no?

Has she any family??

Why would her family not do that?

I would try to help if I could, provided I could afford to make the NY payments if it came to it.

How is she/your DS planning on making the rent payments? Do they have any/all of it up front so it could be protected to give you some security that they won't default?

Bear in mind that you are likely cosigning for the apartment, meaning if they split up and he comes home you are still responsible for her rent.

Check the agreement very, very carefully and check what it means in NY law.

I think her family should be the first people she asks, does she have anyone she can ask?

Sorry to sound negative but she has this place, so what will your DS be doing? Will he be able to work?

Have they lived together before? What if they split up?

I'm told you have to have an income of four times the overall cost. We are a twin income family so technically on paper our yearly combined income would be four times the cost for the nine month lease. But I don't actually have that much money in hand.

So she’s a post-grad and presumably an adult. Part of that being an adult is to figure things like out. She needs to contact the university and find out what options there are for housing.

Can you afford a year of NY rent? Honestly I’d be surprised if they even allowed you as a co-signer. You would be next to impossible to collect from.

My son claims he will find an internship in NY because they don't want to be apart. She will be taking out student loans to cover her tuition and presumably living expenses.

I don't think that her family are in a position to cosign.

Is your son a US citizen? If not how will he be able to get a visa for a one year stay?

What is he planning to do there?

Oh boy this has disaster written all over it. Interns make very little money and most are still fully supported by parents. It would be a way for him to be able to work, but I hope he’s not expecting to live off that in NYC

Sorry Op, I would offer them both moral support and what financial support you are currently giving. Other than that I’d back away quietly.

That sounds quite fanciful. Why is any company going to get him the appropriate visa to do an internship? Has he actually got an offer for this, or is he just sort of hoping that it’ll happen?

The whole thing sounds ridiculous at this point.

It doesnt sound like they have planned this realistically.

Will a US realtor accept a UK cosignatory (I assume you are UK based)

Do not sign anything until your DS actually has a job offer paying enough to cover the rent. You don't just waltz into well paid NYC internships.

It seems very unlikely someone foreign would be acceptable as a co-signer (I'm American and generally the co-signer must be an American with ID and a healthy credit score on US agencies). Have you checked the criteria?

I think (don’t quote me on this but in theory this is how I think it would work). He would have to transfer to a US school or sort an internship in the US with his UK university. Then he would be under a student visa which would allow him to complete a paid internship or co-op

It’s not something that would be quick, easy, or likely inexpensive to sort out though.

There are two things that could go wrong here for you personally.
As someone said upthread, if they break up and your DS comes back to the UK you'd still be responsible for paying the lease.
Similarly, if she dropped out of her course, it would again become your responsibility.
Will the student loans cover all her expenses? Because I would doubt that - many students in the States have to get part time jobs to get by.
If your DS does manage to get an internship (and as a foreign national that won't be easy) they are not well paid at all.
He might do better to get a job in hospitality where tips can be good. (But this could be illegal - has he looked into getting legitimate paid work there? )

I wouldn’t agree to this. It amazes me what people ask their parents to do these days.

He shouldn’t want to put his mum in a position where she could potentially owe money she doesn’t have.

I am an American. This just came up today and the topic was raised by my son so it could be that he is just hoping to settle everything. She hasn't asked me at all.
When I was young you really could just show up in New York and find a place to live but the real estate market doesn't work like that anymore. Everything is more complex and tied to assets nowadays. I don't know how young people are supposed to start out in life anymore.

She's not your financial problem

She needs to sort this out herself

i worked in NYC in my twenties. My company organised my visa, rented me a home on the upper west side, and gave me relocation expenses.

Your son could get a job with a US bank on their graduate program and do the same.

What are his degrees in?

We are a twin income family so technically on paper our yearly combined income would be four times the cost for the nine month lease.

Hold on - so a 9 month lease would cost 25% of your combined annual income?
No bloody way!
How old is your son? - young enough to be indulgently forgiven for living in cloud cuckoo land, or old enough to be given a wake-up call? He is highly unlikely to land an internship. Does he have dual citizenship - will he even be allowed to get a green card/work?

I also dislike this:
I would normally tell someone to say no but she may not be able to go if she can't find a place to live.
Sounds like you are being guilt-tripped.

It is not your responsibility to find - let alone fund when it goes tits-up - your son's g/f's accommodation. The onus is not on you to ensure she can take up her post-grad. DS needs a quick lesson in reality.

He hasn't graduated yet. I'm not convinced that he is really interested in finishing school. She is an excellent student and will be completing a one year post graduate degree at a very prestigious school. I'm very impressed with her and wish her the best. It's just such a brutal real estate market, I don't know how she'll be able to get anything.

It sounds like you’d be better concentrating on your own child’s issues rather than worrying about his girlfriend.

If he doesn’t graduate no-one’s going to give him a professional job, so what’s the point in him doing an internship?

I would normally advise someone else not to cosign for anything but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for her and could mean the difference between her being able to do this degree and not.

I got the impression the DS and his GF are final year students as she is about to go and do a postgrad course in the U.S.

But DS' university is unlikely to be able to help him out with internships in the U.S. after he has graduated. It doesn't work like that here, even if he was going a further degree, which doesn't sound like it's the case.
Friend's daughter did a year in the US as part of her degree course and they got no help with fees or costs at all. No grants, scholarships, nothing. They didn't have to pay her course fees at the UK university for the year she was away but that was all.