Asked to cosign

[Boxowine]

My DS's girlfriend has been accepted into a very prestigious (and very expensive) post graduate program in New York City. Housing costs there are astronomical. My DS plans to spend the year there with her. He asked me today if I would cosign for their accommodation. I'm not sure yet what that would be but it is separate from the University as they have limited school housing. I would normally tell someone to say no but she may not be able to go if she can't find a place to live.

AIBU to say no?

You said you were American, OP, you did NOT say you lived in America! Mumsnet is a British site, lots of people here are ex-pats, so naturally people assumed you were talking about your son and his GF moving to the US from the UK.

If you're a US citizen,and could legally be the guarantor, knock yourself out. I dont think your son should be looking at internships though, shouldn't he be looking at graduate roles in NYC as well?

@Galliano we are in the US so not overseas guarantors. To recap, I haven't talked directly to her about it yet. She had put in for a lottery that would have been for what used to be married housing but is now for couples. So I'm told. But anyway didn't get into it. So now she'll start working with the school's off campus housing office to find something and I imagine the particulars will be dependent on what she finds. I don't think that she can pay for an entire year up front. My advice has been for her to arrange for a room at the school. Although I think my son may still want to spend the year there. Which he could do because as I have said, internship opportunities are plentiful. In that case I would simply have to pay for his housing.

How do they intend to pay the rent? An intern and a student.

Here’s an idea, go back and try to understand why on Earth you thought I said I did an internship, as I really didn’t.

What are your plans to help your son snare someone capable if and when he does drop out by the way? Have you thought of suggesting he gets someone pregnant?

Ask a question, don't like the answers, get angry with a stranger. Okie dokie.

I reckon OP is actually the son.

@Boxowine I didn’t go to college in the US, just graduate school. I’m married to an American and have lived here for years. It’s the way you’re describing internships that I don’t relate to, I think of them as more profession-related, I don’t o no one anyone who’d consider being a camp counselor an internship. But I could be wrong.

I do think that you shouldn’t co-sign be a guarantor for them both. I’m quite happy to be a guarantor for my DD and DS if they have firm educational or career plans, but I wouldn’t do it for their partners. Step back and let your DS get himself an internship and THEN co-sign for him if you wish to. His gf’s plans are nothing to do with you really.

*know

She’s said that she wants to try to have her son marry this girl to ride on her coat tails.

@CanaryWharf2 despicable. Your very first post you jumped in with how is he supposed to get an internship, when I went to NYC it was all arranged months in advance blah blah blah. Why would you even attempt to compare whatever it is we are supposed to believe you did if you're not comparing how your internship worked as proof that I am somehow lying about my son wants to go to NYC for the year? If you were on some kind of H2B visa with the top two floors of a brownstone (sure) it has absolutely nothing to do with my son finding a program.
And I really hope she doesn't get pregnant, I don't think even students in the UK turn into instant high earners just because they completed a Master's degree. Especially if they need a cosigner to get an apartment. But sure, this is all just huge made up story just to get Canary Wharf quotes for the tabloids.

@CanaryWharf2 and for what it's worth, I know a number of people who have interrupted their schooling for one reason or another and I have never referred to them as a drop out.

You are more than just deliberately offensive. You are also a snob

@Boxowine , you're talking at cross-purposes with people here. CanaryWharf2 and others have been talking about international internships, which are very different beasts. Youre talking about "move to the city, find a position " internships, which obviously don't involve visas or cross-border guarantors.

And you’re trying to trap a successful girl into marring your problem child. I’m perfectly happy with where you and I come out relative to one another.

But if the reason is that they didn't feel like finishing then what do you call it? Surely that is the very definition of dropping out.

Anyway, you are getting very distracted from the point with all of this.

I think you would be mad to co-sign anything for them in this scenario. They aren't married, your son has no actual plan and it seems like quite a big ask for them to be able to afford the rent.

@CanaryWharf2 a new and fresh insult. My son is not a problem child and I am not trying to trap her. Just as he is not someone with issues, or a drop out, or someone who needs to get a job. You have spent the day seizing everything that I have said and twisting it and throwing it up in some sick pursuit of online hunt the troll and work other posters up against me. Over a pretty simple thread that involves a fairly common situation. Enjoy yourself?

@CanaryWharf2 I said I was American on like my third post. I have clarified to you over and over and over again that obtaining an internship is a fairly simple proposition and offered examples. To which you responded with scorn, ridicule, sneering, insults, exaggeration and misrepresentation of my posts.

If anyone fancied an argument here it's you. You have repeatedly accused me of making this up. Maybe I'm just not willing to let you bully me. I can only imagine how you behave towards the new girl at work or the new mom volunteering at school or the new couple at church. I've come across your type before.

Do you think he’ll be able to get me a discount to see the statue?

@CanaryWharf2 it's free. Which you would know if you ever actually lived in NYC. But the national park service does have internship programs that anyone can apply to. They are not even limited to US citizens. Which you can Google for yourself. Instead of calling people liars who who claim that their children are exploring intern opportunities in the city. Because you're the only person who can go there. Anyone else who even considers it is really a troll. Who sets up a bait and switch in order to start a fight.

I lived there petal, I wasn’t a tourist.

@CanaryWharf2 you supposedly lived there temporarily for something that wasn't an internship. Doesn't make you a New Yorker. How sad to go to any great city and avoid its major landmarks.

OP since you’re so rude how about co-sign the contract 😂.

@Boxowine MM is a predominately British group and your OP doesn't state that you are either American or living in the US. You mentioned being American once I think quite a few per people had misunderstood the situation and I identified that. You didn't state you actually livdd in the US for ages afterwards and being an American doesn't automatically mean you live in the US. I think there has been a huge amount of misunderstanding on this thread and lots of aspects that someone without a good understanding of the US system just wouldn't understand. If you read the whole thread again you'll see that's the problem. This could have all gone very differently if you had said American in the US in your OP.