AIBU to have a no gift policy for my DC's third birthday?

[dillydally24]

Just that really. My DC is having a third birthday party which 25 other children will attend. Is it ok to ask that no gifts be given by the other children? My DC will be given a couple of significant presents by me and my DH. I find the flood of gifts for birthdays and Xmas these days completely overwhelming and I don't want it to become the norm for my DC. We already have so much.

I feel very very sorry for your poor child, what a miserable life he will likely have

@MissMaple82 because stuff is what makes people happy?? Ffs your life must be miserable feel sorry for you. For me and my child it’s experiences that matter not crap toys and stuff.

Not rude at all and I don’t see a problem with it.

I feel very very sorry for your poor child, what a miserable life he will likely have

Yeah poor little kids having a big party with his friends 🙄

What the fuck?!

What a miserable future ALL our children will have if we don't try and address the issues with overconsumption and continue to produce and use plastic like we have a bottomless pit to dump it in

I feel far more pity for your children for having such an ignorant parent as a role model

I think yabu

By the age of 3 he might start to think hang on why do we take presents to other parties for children but I don't get any

Also you might start a precedent which might not be welcomed

Exactly @prescribingmum I actually can’t believe this thread tbh - we haven’t a bloody hope of sorting out the planet if this is the attitude of most and I fear for the future our kids face.

I've tried saying no gifts before and got a mixture of cash in cards, gifts and assortment of hand made stuff from other children. I still have a painted rock somewhere in the garden from a party guest.

I think part of the excitement for little ones is choosing/ wrapping gift. Writing name in card etc. Best just to steer to appropriate gift if asked. Books or craft stuff is easiest.

I am thoroughly shocked at many of the responses to this thread.

We have a climate crisis fuelled in part by rampant consumerism, yet so many people think it's necessary for a three-year old to get 25 presents from their friends, even if it's just to unwrap them and then pass them on.

Unbelievable.

I feel very very sorry for your poor child, what a miserable life he will likely have
Interesting point.
One of the saddest things DH ever told me about his childhood was that his mother spent untold fortunes, scraping every penny together, to buy him gifts (which she proudly told me herself she donated most of them in pristine condition to a local creche as he had far too much) and his dad was much more restrained, although he never missed a Christmas or birthday either.So little DH loved his Daddy less. He had been conditioned to believe that his mum loved him more because she spent more money on him.
Wouldn't be so quick to feel sorry for OPs child.
FIL and MIL are now exactly the same with my DS. Mountains of ostentatious shit from MiL taking over the house, a few small gifts and bung for his bank account from FIL. Don't suppose they will ever change.

I feel very very sorry for your poor child, what a miserable life he will likely have

seriously, what a mad thing to say!

Op - good for you! 👍😊 Totally agree.

Well I suspect you'll get a load of cash instead tbh @dillydally24 , guests bringing a gift because "they couldn't not", and the rest feeling awkward because they listened to you.

I did this for my 5 year olds birthday party several years ago now. I was hoping it would start a trend, but I guess I'm not a trend-setter!

I agree with those saying that this thread demonstrates a lot of what is wrong with the world.

Me.Me.MyChild.Me.Me.MyChild.

Fuck the environment, fuck the waste, fuck considering anything but my own selfish "needs".

Can the people who firmly think that little Johnny will be irrevocably damaged by not receiving 25 cheap, irresponsibly manufactured and just not needed gifts, not see the bigger picture?

It's grotesque - this rampant selfish consumerism. Stuff does NOT = happiness, no matter your age.

IMO, a lot of posters are living vicariously through their children. They want to relive the glory days when we were ignorant about the state of the world.

OP - you should start a movement, I would be the first to sign up.

Totally agree @GADDay

It really saddens me that so many people equate happiness to material possessions.

I think it’s fine and not rude at all. I think too many kids are focused on stuff and if you teach them young not to always expect to get tons of gifts they will be fine with it. Plus I would be extremely happy not to have to spend money to buy a gift 😂

Ive tried it
People ignored the request
So the next birthday party i said on the invitation that all the gifts would be donated to a charity of my choice. So then all the toys went to a good home. It was lovely really .

I completely understand where you are coming from BUT would suggest maybe popping on the invites that there is something DS would like and ask people to contribute a small amount towards rather than buying a present.

Then your child gets a present and you get to avoid all the stuff coming in to your house - win/win.

@StoppinBy this would be the ultimate sin on MN where it is considered extremely grabby to consider asking for what is wanted and needed.

You cannot win, if you specify no gifts, it is rude and no-one wants to come empty handed. According to many PP you are also cruel and denying your child the opportunity to open presents and receive endless stuff that they do not need🙄. If you say money only, you are asking for gifts and that is grabby and rude. If you say nothing, you end up with stuff you need to find a new home for (and usually still ends up in landfill within the next year)....

My personal opinion when hosting (for adults or children) is that the cost of hosting is on me and I do not expect anything in return for doing so. I have invited people because I/my child enjoys their company and that is all I would like. If they feel they must bring something, a consumable item is perfect. When we end up hosting a children's party alone, I will be asking for books or a consumable item

set Up a just giving for a Ukrainian childrens charity for donations? Or a local food bank?

oh don't do that.

Dear God, a food bank...

So on your page.