AIBU to have a no gift policy for my DC's third birthday?

[dillydally24]

Just that really. My DC is having a third birthday party which 25 other children will attend. Is it ok to ask that no gifts be given by the other children? My DC will be given a couple of significant presents by me and my DH. I find the flood of gifts for birthdays and Xmas these days completely overwhelming and I don't want it to become the norm for my DC. We already have so much.

[Mumof3FSE]

I dont think you're being unreasonable at all. Often gifts are token/cheap and fill your house with more things that really aren't needed. We recently went to a joint 6yrs old birthday and it was written on the invite no gift please but donation to Ukraine unicef appeal or Water Aid instead pls. I thought that was such a lovely idea. A 3 Yr old really won't be so worried about gifts, they will be far too excited to see and play with their friends.

[dillydally24]

Thank you, @woody87 and @NurseSalt. Good advice. x

[dillydally24]

100% agree @Mumof3FSE

[Mlew1]

I just did this for my 6 year oldest birthday last week. He knew ahead of time that his friends weren't bringing gifts and he was more excited that everyone invited was able to attend. We gave him some toys that he has wanted for a while and loves. No one questioned the decision not to have gifts. Instead, several of the kids gave him hand written cards that he loved.

[FriendshipBunny]

You are not being unreasonable. I share a son with my ex, who married into a large and close-knit family. My son usually gets upward of 40 presents for his birthday, and it's become a huge problem. He has stacks and stacks of unopened gifts from years upon years ago. The things he has opened, he barely touches. Its bad for the environment, my son doesn't enjoy unwrapping gifts for so long (abd my son is 8, not 3), he doesn't appreciate gifts as much. Like, nothing about it is good. People are saying you can donate them. That's like saying it's okay for someone to break into your house and rummage around, because you can just clean it later. It's very difficult to get a child to agree to donate his toys, even though he doesnt play with them, and getting to a thrift store is an extra burden you don't need. I ask people to take my son on an outing instead, buy tickets to a movie for him or donate to a college fund. something like that. A card with a nice letter. You're going to have to haul 25 gifts home, then find a sneaky way to get them out of your home. Its best to just avoid it. Not to mention, it teaches a bad lesson about consumerism.

[Julezz778]

Absolutely not unreasonable! I've had several parties where I requested no gifts. She's 3, she's just going to be excited for a party! I absolutely agree that it's overwhelming for kids with large amounts of gifts. There's also the kids who's parents can't afford to send a gift and then they're left out of the fun, and that's just heartbreaking to me. I have in the past said gifts aren't necessary, but to make a donation to a charity that was selected on behalf of the birthday child (they adore animals, so make a donation to a local animal shelter.) I applaud you for teaching your child there is more importance than materialistic things. She's gonna be an amazing asset to this world. ❤️

[Johnny956]

Not being unreasonable and it’s pretty common. My daughter I think is going to her 7th birthday party this year and majority of them have no gifts policy on the invitations

[PrairiegirlS]

You are not being unreasonable. How many toys does a child actually need? We are such a throwaway society based on commercialism. My friend group adopted the No gift policy very early. None of the children missed out and had a great time at the parties. Additionally you should think about those parents who might not be able to afford 25 presents in a group throughout the year.

[Nanny0gg]

@Julezz778

Absolutely not unreasonable! I've had several parties where I requested no gifts. She's 3, she's just going to be excited for a party! I absolutely agree that it's overwhelming for kids with large amounts of gifts. There's also the kids who's parents can't afford to send a gift and then they're left out of the fun, and that's just heartbreaking to me. I have in the past said gifts aren't necessary, but to make a donation to a charity that was selected on behalf of the birthday child (they adore animals, so make a donation to a local animal shelter.) I applaud you for teaching your child there is more importance than materialistic things. She's gonna be an amazing asset to this world. ❤️

I assume you decline gifts for your birthday too?

[DuesToTheDirt]

@Nanny0gg

I assume you decline gifts for your birthday too?

I can't answer for Julzz, but speaking for myself,
a) I generally ask for experiences (e.g. dinner out) rather than stuff, or charity donations
b) I like most other adults, am never in the position of getting 30+ presents. The child will get presents from their parents, relatives etc. They just don't need such a massive pile of stuff from their classmates.