To object to my manager arriving at my house

[HerveLeger]

My line manager turned up at my house at 14:00 today. Rang the doorbell - I didn’t answer because I wasn’t expecting a delivery. I live in the middle of nowhere, I don’t get random callers. I don’t lock my back door. Next thing I know, my manager is in my house. “Just checking”. Apparently I sounded a bit weird in the team meeting this morning. Which is odd, as I didn’t actually speak in the team meeting. Am I BUR to find this completely inappropriate? She is a lovely person and I have had some mental health issues in the past. For which she has been very supportive. But this was one day - half a day, when I wasn’t present at work. She let herself in.. next thing I knew, she was in my sitting room. It was a bit scary :(

She was obviously worried about you. And if you don’t get random callers then surely someone at your door meant to be there? I really think this was genuine concern for you.

This is so weird. Why didn’t she just call you?
this is massively over stepping boundaries!!!
id complain if I were you.

What the hell? She could at least have phoned you if she couldn't get a reply, (rather than let herself in, who DOES that?) but this was completely unacceptable imo. I hope you let her know that. I assume this was during working hours?

I don't understand why you didn't answer the door?

Seems completely batshit to me, unprofessional and completely crossing the line.
But that's just me.

What type of company? Small independent family owned where everyone luffs each other, or proper corporate, I might half understand her behaviour if it's the former type of work place.

Extremely weird. I’d be totally pissed off if my manager did that. Did you allow her to stay?

I mean, her rocking up at your house is weird and inappropriate, but you ignoring your own front door is also weird.

Had she tried calling? How did she get in? I would assume it came from a place of good intent. But I can see why it made you feel uncomfortable

OP not to beat about the bush - when you say you had mental health problems in the past, how bad were they? Did she have reason to fear you'd kill yourself?

Because that's the only reason I could imagine thinking that turning up at your home - and letting herself in - was acceptable.

Otherwise this is unexplainable and absolutely awful!

It must be real concern. I had a situation with someone acting a bit different to normal on a phone call. Their direct line manager went to the guy’s house (single, no relatives) and called an ambulance. The guy had had a brain bleed, but didn’t realise himself that anything was wrong. The concerned manager saved his life.

Assume your manager didn’t just fancy a nosey around your house. Sounds well meaning.

Were you off sick?
Do you have a poor sickness record?
Maybe she was checking you were off sick and not faking it?

I would be furious and I would definitely file a complaint. This is an outrageous overstep.

I'm amazed at a few of the replies you've had so far! So your manager appeared unannounced at your house and let herself in?!? That sounds absolutely crazy!!! WTF! YANBU

Its hard to tell if she was being unreasonable without knowing the extent of the mental health issues she has helped you with in the past. On the surface it seems completely over the top but in certain circumstances she may have felt it necessary in a duty of care kind of a way. Only you will know.

I don't answer the door if I am not expecting anyone/anything and I don't feel like it. I figure if someone I know wants me they'll call, even if they're at my door for some weird reason. Otherwise it's something or someone who can wait until another time.

You don't answer the front door, but wave the back door unlocked?

Maybe she thought it was a genuine problem?

"But this was one day - half a day, when I wasn’t present at work"

Where you meant to be present at work? Was it a day off, or did you just not log on and do your work / join calls / do your job? When you say mental health problems in the past, do you mean anything that could lead to wellness checks?

It's definitely not normal, but I know at work if someone didn't join in on a team call, then dropped off the face of the earth with no communications + had a history of mental health issues then there could be a wellness check made.

Manager checking on her staff, okay a bit odd.

But not answering your own front door as you're not expecting a delivery?? That is frankly very odd behaviour.

Youransger letting herself on rather than trying to call you first was a bit weird.

But not even having a look to see who is at the door before deciding whether to answer the doorbell is weirder tbh.

Were you appearing away on Teams in the afternoon? Is that what you meant by one afternoon off? Were you actually working or not? She shouldn't have let herself in regardless

I used to live in the middle of nowhere too and this is pretty normal. Front door locked, back door open because it is in use.

She should have phoned. Just turning up is weird!

Were you meant to be working from home, or had you gone home / called in sick? Was your meeting online or face to face?

I totally understand why you are unhappy but I can also imagine alternative outcomes. Are they right to worry about you? Are you ok?

Was it your day off? Or were you meant to be at work but no one had heard from you? I would expect a phone call first tbh. And how did the manager know where you live?

If I'm honest my first thought is that this is someone who feels they have a duty of care, doing something quite exceptional out of panic or worry

It sounds like it would have been quite inconvenient for this person to do it, so it does suggest there is more going on here

What was her reasoning for doing it?

Irrespective of the above it is overstepping a boundary and I wouldn't be happy, unless there were for instance repeated attempts to contact you and a genuine concern based on something material which meant this was an appropriate attempt to safeguard

I would be having a formal chat with hr as soon as possible as it doesn't quite add up based on the details you have so far provided

It's mumsnet - apparently 75% of posters just don't answer the door... (I'm not one of them!£