To object to my manager arriving at my house

[HerveLeger]

My line manager turned up at my house at 14:00 today. Rang the doorbell - I didn’t answer because I wasn’t expecting a delivery. I live in the middle of nowhere, I don’t get random callers. I don’t lock my back door. Next thing I know, my manager is in my house. “Just checking”. Apparently I sounded a bit weird in the team meeting this morning. Which is odd, as I didn’t actually speak in the team meeting. Am I BUR to find this completely inappropriate? She is a lovely person and I have had some mental health issues in the past. For which she has been very supportive. But this was one day - half a day, when I wasn’t present at work. She let herself in.. next thing I knew, she was in my sitting room. It was a bit scary :(

If you’ve got a history of suicidal behaviours then I don’t think your manager was unreasonable

It’s seems she was worried about you. I find it bizarre that people don’t answer their doors and sounds like you were a bit off in a meeting then AWOL.

I’ve been that manager and had to get a landlord to enter a reports apartment when he uncharacteristically didn’t turn up for work, his parents and friends couldn’t get hold of him and when the landlord checked the front door cctv he hadn’t left his apartment since the evening before.

He’d drunk so much the night before (this was 3pm) he was lying in his own shit and vomit and was unrousable and we had to call an ambulance.

employers have a duty of care and unless she has history of massively overstepping I’d let it go.

I have worked in HR for 20 years, have a masters in it and I can assure you the welfare burden is on the manager to make sure their people are ok!
To those saying ‘go to HR’ because it’s a violation… I don’t think HR will disagree here. Given the duty of care a manager SHOULD have for their people. A welfare check, with the info given, is entirely appropriate.

That's completly different from what seems to have happened here though. The suggestion (not enough info to be sure) is that this manager was checking on someone she was concerned about.
Yes in your circumstance I would be cross too, in the OP's assuming I'm reading it right then I wouldn't.

Completely unacceptable - if she was worried there’s plenty more options than letting herself into your own home

It all hinges on the context and in particular what the ‘not present’ actually means.
plus whether the manager tried to contact in other ways such as online or Teams or phone/text?

Two potentially very different scenarios in my mind, or something in the middle?

1. OP appears on online meeting and says nothing (or very little) - this is out of character and raises concern. Then logs out of meeting, decides to take the afternoon off and not ‘be present’. This could be a sign of her being mentally unwell and possibly at risk to herself. Manager tries and fails over a period of hours to watsapp, phone and teams as the staff member has gone awol and manager has concerns for her health and safety. And in that context decides to pop round.


2. OP attends morning meeting. Is polite but not chatty as not feeling 100%. However already has annual leave booked in the afternoon which manager acknowledged at the end of the meeting, OP wishes all present a good afternoon and mentions she is tired and looking forward to a restful afternoon. However busy body manager who is a real pita rocks up to her home to cause upset and drama without so much as an attempt to watsapp OP.

which is it?

Well it depends, if you were supposed to be working but had seemingly gone AWOL then it's not unreasonable for them to be concerned. I agree that walking into your house is crossing a line- did they phone and you didn't answer? They did knock and didn't break in, it sounds like they had a genuine concern for your welfare. The other option would have been for her to phone the police for a welfare check but they probably wouldn't have the resource to do it.

I wouldn't be very happy with her coming in the house, though I also wouldn't leave my door unlocked. Her checking in on you is just part of her duty to your well-being.

Wow.
I once told a friend at work to call the police if I didn't come in and hadn't phoned sick because I was scared nobody would find me if I fell and broke my leg or something.
Unfortunately, one day I had outside training. My boss knew where I was, but my friend was in a bit of a panic until she could access my boss's calendar and see 'Gwen at training' in there. So now I don't ask anyone to do anything if I don't turn up.

Yeah, agreed. As an introvert I find it intrusive. If I know them they’ll call ahead & we get cold callers often on my road due to the majority being elderly.

I would be amazed if the manager didn’t attempt to call. Something doesn’t add up.

Also, my back door is usually unlocked to let the dogs in and out.

"I also wouldn't leave my door unlocked."

I wouldn't normally, but plenty of people living in very isolated places do.

I’m still waiting for the other half of the story/more background that the Op has left out.

I can see it both ways.

YABU She was looking out for you and checked up on you. Also if you didn’t want anyone to come in then you have to lock your doors, no matter how rural you are.

YANBU I think she overstepped by coming in.

Without knowing the full story and your mention of mental health issues, I’m inclined to think it was done out of genuine concern. My brother was saved by his manager doing exactly this 8 years ago, he’d attempted suicide. We will forever be grateful that someone cared enough to check on him when he didn’t come into work that morning.

As a line manager myself, when I’ve had staff on long term sick leave, I’ve been required by HR to check in on them via phone 2 or 3 times a week. If I knew one of them were struggling with their mental health and behaved oddly or could not be contacted, I would do everything I could to ensure they were ok, even if it meant turning up at their house.

The only possible reason or justification for this is if your past mental health issues were so severe that she would have reason to believe you could have taken your own life. Otherwise, it seems utterly ridiculous that she would come round in this way. Did she try to call you?

Until OP decides to provide more detail it is hard to tell. Employers have a duty of care to employees and the impact of wfh on mental health was hammered home throughout covid. If she was trying to call OP and got no reply, then she did the right thing. Maybe she just had that gut feeling something could have been wrong. Believe me, having to check on an employees welfare is an awful thing to do, I have done it a few times. You can’t do right for doing wrong.

Hideously illegal.

Come back, OP, we need answers!

This a million times. I really badly needed help once, and knocked on a neighbour’s door. Thank all that is holy they didn’t just think ‘I’m not expecting a parcel’ and ignore me.

I am eternally grateful there are decent people who care about others in this world.

Are you deliberately not telling us the full story OP? Are you going to come back to fill us in some more?

were you meant to be at work and just didn't turn up, or do you mean you were at work but 'not yourself'?

Did she phone you before she turned up?

When you say you have a history of mental health problems, does that mean feeling suicidal or just general depression?

All these things are necessary information to determine if she was really BU or not.

There is no obligation to answer your door just because somebody knocks.

I don’t think this is appropriate at all.

there were a number of steps she could have taken before turning up at your home and wandering in. The first would be picking up the bloody phone and texting or ringing, to which I’m sure you would have happily answered and assured her you were fine.

Entering your home is not just intrusive but frankly bizarre and fucking rude. You could have a partner at home, family etc and a strange woman has just walked in. The logical thing to do when you didn’t answer the door would be to simply once again PICK UP THE PHONE.

As ‘lovely’ as she is I would tell her in no uncertain terms that her behaviour is extremely unacceptable and if it happens again you will escalate it. If she has concerns she can ring you, not just show up at your house and let herself in.

Overstepping boundaries. I'd have at least expected her to phone and ask if it's okay to pop in for a cuppa.

Leaving your door unlocked is unwise, wherever you live.
A person from work just walking into your home uninvited - seriously out of order.