To ask your opinion on casual recreational drug use as a mum?

[Easylittlethrowaway]

this concerns two close friends of mine but I will state up front that my own opinion is that we should mind our own business - a friend disagrees strongly as has made me feel shit about it so reaching out here for opinions.

Friend A is a single mum of a child with SEN. She gets zero help from child’s dad, either in contact or maintenance. She is, in my opinion, a bloody good mum. Fights hard for her son to get him what he needs, works full time in a senior position to keep them afloat. Doesn’t so much as touch a drop of alcohol when her son is in her care. Gets minimal help from family but her son does go for a sleepover at grandparents every couple of months.

When her son is at his grandparents, she dabbles a bit in recreational drug use - usually either weed or occasionally mdma. This is in the comfort of her own home, with her partner. Never uses enough to get completely off her face but clearly gets an experience out of it. I’ve known about this for ages and it’s never phased me, and I’ve been in her company once or twice so I know she knows her limits.

friend B recently found out about this through friend C. Friend B now wants to report friend A to social services.

fWIw I’ve never taken drugs but I think Friend B is being ridiculous and that the child is well taken care of at all times and friend A is allowed to let her hair down once every couple of months. AIBU?

Only on mumsnet would someone be considering reporting a parent to ss for smoking a bit of weed once in a blue moon!

Does judgey friend drink alcohol? It's exactly the same apart from the legality.

I've never heared of anyone dropping dead from a dodgy glass of wine personally. Read of plenty who have from a dodgy pill though.

People trying to equate pills and coke with alcohol are laughable.

Imagine being a full ass grown man or woman with kids and sneaking off to your dealer on the QT to buy your next hit.

It's gross, seedy and pathetic.

My pint was it’s not different. Anything like that would be locked away. But if a child was to some how get hold of something. I’d much rather it was weed than codine as it would do a lot less harm.

you drugs are bad crew really make me chuckle. In so many countries you can get weed on prescription and it used as a less harmful alternative to so many classic prescription drugs.

there would be no weed in your house at all

Except it isn't actually harmful unless smoked or cooked. So it wouldn't harm their health even if a kid did find it and eat a bit. You'd have to eat so much that I doubt you could fit it into your stomach to get any high from raw weed at all. I really don't think it would be possible!

THC, CBD, and CBG are three compounds that may produce significant therapeutic effects.

However, these three cannabinoids do not occur naturally in high concentrations in raw weed. Raw weed contains these three cannabinoids with a carboxylic acid attached. Experts refer to these compounds as delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinolic (THCA-A), cannabidiolic acid (CBDA), and cannabigerolic acid (CBGA).

With exposure to light or heat from smoking or baking, the carboxylic acid group detaches. This process is called decarboxylation. Without the carboxylic acid group, these three compounds have the potential to cause a therapeutic effect. It is only then that THC can result in a high.

The risk from keeping weed at home comes from being found my teens who know what to do with it - smoke it etc. They are the ones who will be getting high/harmed.

And in that case, people should lock away their booze and tobacco too because plenty of kids start stealing that in their teen years if it's available.

It's terrible imo. She could die the next time she takes mdma. It doesn't make any difference that she 'knows her limits', the body can have a bad reaction regardless. Very irresponsible for a parent to do imo.

No, I think you'll find she's a shit mum!!!

Imagine being a full ass grown man or woman with kids and sneaking off to your dealer on the QT to buy your next hit.

You can get then delivered in the post. Thousands of people do from apps such as Telegram.

You can also buy test kits to have at home that tell you what's in your pill or whatever drug. You should always use them. Never take pills from someone on a night out, buy them in advance, test them at home with the kit.

I think it's disgusting behaviour as a parent myself it would never ever cross my mind.

With exposure to light or heat from smoking or baking, the carboxylic acid group detaches. This process is called decarboxylation. Without the carboxylic acid group, these three compounds have the potential to cause a therapeutic effect. It is only then that THC can result in a high.

Many people are unaware of this tbh. They genuinely think you can just eat weed and get high; they don't understand the science behind the compounds and how they are released. Eating weed is probably the least dangerous drug a child could eat. Eating tobacco would probably be more harmful. Drinking alcohol would be far more dangerous, as would any prescription medication.

I wouldn’t judge her but for me as a parent, mdma use would be uncomfortable.

I know lots of people who smoke the odd joint and I don’t really see it as being particularly different to having a drink.

I wouldn’t report her to ss no if I was sure it never happened around her son. I would be inclined to give her the heads up that someone else was going to if you genuinely think she is a decent human being!!

People who drink pearl clutching about occasional mild drug use is hypocritical and laughable.

The weed is fine.

I have much more issue with parents drinking alcohol around their children as I think is a very dangerous drug. These days I don't even want to be in the same room as people who have drunk to much, but someone who has smoked a joint is usually completely harmless.

I don't know enough about MDMA to comment.

Don't see the issue, she sounds like she has it tough, I wouldn't begrudge anyone letting their hair down occasionally.

To be honest not even the police are bothering about cannabis use.
It may be referred to SS but what are they going to do if the child isn't in her care at the time and the police don't take action?
Technically it is an offence.

As long as her child is not being harmed in any way .... Give the poor woman a break, she is not harming anyone, it is her down/relaxing time when her child is not present.

I’m sorry her situation is so hard - it sounds awful. But I couldn’t condone recreational drug use by a parent, whether their child is present or not.

I probably wouldn’t call SS unless I knew she was doing drugs a lot and/or when her child was in the home. But I don’t think she should do it.

It’s not for me, and I’m completely against drug use of any kind. But I’m also against people being pissed in charge of kids and that happens all the time and is arguably worse than occasional recreational drug use when no kids are present. Hardly a social services requirement.

Are you friend C?

I'd tell friend B to mind her own business and also tell friend A that friend B what she was planning to do.

Weed is grown by child slaves who have been trafficked into the Uk, largely from Vietnam and Thailand, and are held without education, medical attention or proper nutrition.

The ones I have met have very stunted growth and development.

There are many thousands of them
in the Uk. Most of us are sitting only a few miles from the closest one here and now.

I have no sympathy or respect what so ever for any mother supporting this industry.

And yes it is everyone’s business

I’m not friend C.

Friend A is my best friend. Friend C’s partner and Friend A’s partner are close friends which I suspect is how Friend C knows. Friend A is definitely not broadcasting it but I have told her that Friend C has told Friend B. I’ve also given her the heads up this evening that Friend B is debating reporting to SS and my poor friend is horrified, really upset.

No judgment from me. As long as she's not caring for her children while she's taking mdma then I think that's fine. I took drugs before I had children but don't enjoy taking them anymore so don't bother. But I don't judge those who do - unless they take them very frequently, take them while caring for their children or prioritise them over their children. And to be honest I don't think it's awful to have children in your care if you've had a spliff or 2, no different than having had a few drinks.

As someone who doesn't drink or take drugs

I don't see it as any different to drinking personally

I'm in the mind your own business and if you drink alcohol..:they you are a hypocrite to look down on the drug user.

My view is that she's being responsible and doesn't have drugs around her child so who cares if she has has a bit of weed or MDMA now and again.

I'd be very surprised if social services gave a shit either.

HER child might or might not be being harmed, but terrible, irrevocable harm is being done to the child slaves that the weed industry is based on.

how can anyone think that is in any way acceptable?