To ask your opinion on casual recreational drug use as a mum?

[Easylittlethrowaway]

this concerns two close friends of mine but I will state up front that my own opinion is that we should mind our own business - a friend disagrees strongly as has made me feel shit about it so reaching out here for opinions.

Friend A is a single mum of a child with SEN. She gets zero help from child’s dad, either in contact or maintenance. She is, in my opinion, a bloody good mum. Fights hard for her son to get him what he needs, works full time in a senior position to keep them afloat. Doesn’t so much as touch a drop of alcohol when her son is in her care. Gets minimal help from family but her son does go for a sleepover at grandparents every couple of months.

When her son is at his grandparents, she dabbles a bit in recreational drug use - usually either weed or occasionally mdma. This is in the comfort of her own home, with her partner. Never uses enough to get completely off her face but clearly gets an experience out of it. I’ve known about this for ages and it’s never phased me, and I’ve been in her company once or twice so I know she knows her limits.

friend B recently found out about this through friend C. Friend B now wants to report friend A to social services.

fWIw I’ve never taken drugs but I think Friend B is being ridiculous and that the child is well taken care of at all times and friend A is allowed to let her hair down once every couple of months. AIBU?

@BiscuitLover3678 Molly, Mandy, E, ecstasy are all MDMA. During the mid 90's it was often cut with other drugs such as amphetamine (speed), caffeine (Pro plus) and all sorts of nasty stuff. The increasing popularity of cheap home testing kits and dark web dealing means that mdma in either tablet or powder form is now very pure. Bad batches are very quickly signposted on social media and other sites.

MDMA is not chemically addictive.

It isn't intentionally made to look attractive to children, and was originally developed as a truth drug.

@Hrpuffnstuff1

Not getting drunk in front of your kids fair enough.

But what you said earlier is that there should be NO drunkness post kids.

So if you go on a hen do with your pals you can’t get pissed? If you go to a child free wedding you can’t get drunk? WHY?!

I'd be going on a stag, not a hen. But no I wouldn't be getting drunk. A few drinks are enough.
But others can do what they like.
I think early on the group thought it was odd, but now no one bats an eye-lid.

@Hrpuffnstuff1

Do you not drink more than a couple because you don’t like alcohol that much or because you think you should refrain as you’re a parent?

Well you say they can do what they want but also throw in they deserve better and parental responsibility never ends for me which clearly shows you are judging your mates who get drunk on a lads holiday whilst the teens are home with Mom etc.

Just made a conscious decision to moderate my drinking and certainly no drugs.
It's completely natural for me.

Friendship ending for me.

@Hrpuffnstuff1

i guess we’re all different. It never crossed my mind to moderate my drinking when I go out with friends or whatever because I have a child at home. Don’t know why it would to be honest.

The thing that concerns me is 1) you can't tell what's actually in MDMA until you've taken it and 2) there is no other parent on the scene.

I wouldn't report though and it's her risk to take.

Don’t know why it would to be honest.
Because @lucky

Don’t know why it would to be honest.
Because @LuckySantangelo35 don't you know your kids deserve better and your parental responsibility never ceases, even when they're in a different country, with a different parent etc. Or so declares @Hrpuffnstuff1 earnestly

I don't think ercreational drug use is a great idea, but I think reporting this to SS would be a bad idea. Very likely to cause more harm than it would prevent.

Really, a complete non issue.

you can't tell what's actually in MDMA

There are home testing kits to help determine what's in all sorts of recreational drugs.

(If we had a sensible drug policy based around harm reduction they would be much more widely known about and promoted.)

Why does it matter what I think @SleepingStandingUp ?
I'm comfortable with how I represent myself to my children, it's what I do in my house. I do not and will never be inebriated on drugs or drink, they'll never be a time as a parent where I'm not available.
Maybe it's my own parental example that pushes this path.

You sound like you feel threatened by my choice, don't worry about it, it's not uncommon. Some of my friends feel judged, but that says more about them than me.

Just look at what happens in places in the world where cannabis is legal. The illegal trade soars. And the product is much cheaper

But is the biggest driver of child trafficking and slavery in the Uk

Why not just be honest and say that you have moral objections to people using psychoactive substances for enjoyment and recreational purposes.

All the stuff about trafficking and slavery gets really tiresome. It's never mentioned in topics relating to the construction industry, agriculture, beauty, fashion, car maintenance, electronics, all industries with a high prevalence. It's only wheeled out in threads about sex and drugs.

And I'm unconvinced that the drugs=slavery posters would unclench in the case of home-grown weed or synthetic drugs bought direct from the laboratory.

I’m so sorry you find mention of child slavery ‘tiresome’. It must be so hard for you to have to hear about the brutal reality of the trafficked and enslaved children working in cannabis farms near you.

that’s cannabis farms. Not construction, beauty, agriculture, fashion etc etc etc etc.

The Uk cannabis industry enslaved thousands and thousands of trafficked children. The river industries you mention in the Uk simply do not.

this is children stolen from their families under the age of 10, packed into packing cases like so much cargo, forced into slave Labour with no education, medical care, or proper nutrition, in a country thousands of miles from home and basically worked to death or near death.

I have met many of the victims. Excuse me if I don’t feel they would be overly concerned that you find reference to their existence ‘tiresome’

i don’t understand how an actual human being could call this issue ‘tiresome’. Are you some sort of bot?

if you are real, are you a parent? Are you ashamed?

I'd be no more concerned than if your friend was only an occasional drinker when her child was out of the house overnight

Oh yes, and half a pint of lager shandy is the slippery slope to alcoholisim
Get a grip!

I hate drugs but wouldn’t really care if a friend was occasionally using away from their child.
I drink alcohol and I smoke so I can’t talk.

I have a very negative opinion of drug use in general, regardless of whether it's a mum or not.

But I'm not sure, would social services find anything wrong with it if the child is well taken care of?

Because what happens is the marketplace expands. People think legalization means the original marketplace is replaced by more ethical groups it isn't it just opens up opportunities.

@12Thorns please could you provide evidence that regulated farming, and I mean by professional licensed farmers increases illegal farming?