AIBU to not want to give baby an English name?

[OneTonNoodles]

I'm expecting, and we're discussing baby names.

DP likes traditional, common, English/ European names. His family is full of Elizabeth, Peter, David's.

I have a DS named Aryan from a previous relationship. I like unusual, uncommon, and would prefer an ethnic name that goes with DS.

I know they're not the same person so they don't need to match but I'd find Persephone and Keith as a sibset jarring.

I'm willing to compromise and choose an ethnic name that is also used in the West e.g. Nina, but DP is not having any of it.

His points are, 1. I got to name DS 2. We live in England. 3. He made 1 suggestion for an unusual name he was semi-ok with and I laughed at him. Therefore IABU.

I don't think I am because I said we can compromise.

do you know whether it is going to be a boy or girl? surely there are names which are "normal" (ie recognisable) in both cultures, although prob not top 10.

how about Hari? Neel? Anika? Maya? Samira? I personally like these names, surely there must be some which meet both of your tastes?

Give the baby two names: an English name and an Indian name. Then at least the kid can choose which to use when they are older. I have a non-English surname and an international first name. I have to spell my surname every single time and nearly everyone pronounces it incorrectly, so it's nice to have a first name that's easy to spell and to pronounce.

However, one issue to consider is how your child will look when it's older, and which culture they identify with. My parents are both white immigrants, so race is not an issue, but it is strange when I meet up with my mother's side of the family and my name is so different from theirs. It makes me feel like I don't quite belong. My brothers both have middle names from my mum's culture, whereas all of my names are from my dad's. This wouldn't bother some people, but I'd have preferred my names to reflect both of my parents' cultures, and not just one.

fully agree with this. long term planning

😂 this jumped out at me too! Maybe it’s not pronounced like that, hopefully

I know various children with the name Aryan, or variation of. It's pronounced completely differently to Arian (at least the ones I do are) and I have never made the connection you are suggestion is obvious in 'this' country. Its a common Indian name.

For what it's worth I have a History degree with a focus on Racism in 20th Century Europe.

I have a white british surname, its even the same spelling of a popular chain, people still can’t spell it.

I have half Indian half white dc. Ours have English names but you’re not unreasonable to want an Indian name either.

Please don't call one Aryan then another the least British name you can find.

DH came up with some honkers when I was pregnant - and not foreign names but ye olde flowery boys ones (he studied English lit).

There was one on particular which I said no one would ever use lo an behold a kid at DSs school did have that name.

Also what’s with people not realising Aryan is a very normal, common Asian name? Not everyone is white, ffs.

All born and raised in England.

So you're English/British?

Why oh Why do people always want "unique" names? No name is unique ...

Although "Aryan" is pretty out there - I think Adolf Hitler quite favoured Aryan.

I think you have bigger issues here than poor name preferences.

He doesn't get to dictate that you can't give the baby your surname or double-barrell it.

Quinn ??? Too close to quim.
I can hear the playground bullies now....

I’d tell him ‘the person who gives birth gets the casting vote’. Which is what I did say when DH was coming up with some of the names (I think he was joking).

The unusual name he suggested was Harlequin. She can go by Harley or Quinn. He prefers Quinn.

I'm not proud, but the laugh was an involuntary reaction. I didn't expect it at all.

Ah, fair enough. I would have either laughed or been a bit horrified at that too. The associations are... not ideal.

This poster loves to be contrary

It was clear what you meant

Oh they realise, they just enough being racist and enjoy the whole faux naivety when their racism is pointed out.

Legally, he doesn't actually get to choose either name. You're not married, you resister the name alone. And you're the one doing the actual carrying and childbirth.

I'd start from the position that you choose both first and surname. That's your starting point. He wants John Smith, you want Nina Simone. You win and the baby is called Nina Simone. Unless he'd like to discuss a compromise on one of the names, you will possibly entertain it.

He can argue all he likes but legally he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

I think you’re probably right. Gross.

You want her to rename her older child??

I think your H needs to pick a name that reflects the blended family you have formed.

The baby will have a half brother Aryan, and imo the name chosen needs to blend with that.

There are plenty of Biblical names that would go nicely with Aryan:
Asa
Asher
Eli
Elijah
Seth
Ethan
Joshua
Ezra

These names are westernized and have been used in England for centuries but they're not Victorian CoE, which seems to be the vibe your H is going for. Names like Edward, Peter, James don't blend.

I think your H needs to accept that his family needs to blend together. Why the insistence on traditionally English names when he can see with his own eyes that the family has more than one heritage?

If your kids are familiar with the word quim, that's on you.

Harlequin is bloody ridiculous.