AIBU to not want to give baby an English name?

[OneTonNoodles]

I'm expecting, and we're discussing baby names.

DP likes traditional, common, English/ European names. His family is full of Elizabeth, Peter, David's.

I have a DS named Aryan from a previous relationship. I like unusual, uncommon, and would prefer an ethnic name that goes with DS.

I know they're not the same person so they don't need to match but I'd find Persephone and Keith as a sibset jarring.

I'm willing to compromise and choose an ethnic name that is also used in the West e.g. Nina, but DP is not having any of it.

His points are, 1. I got to name DS 2. We live in England. 3. He made 1 suggestion for an unusual name he was semi-ok with and I laughed at him. Therefore IABU.

I don't think I am because I said we can compromise.

Its your life OP but you are being given a strong message from your DP and his family to "fit in". I note you aren't married and you are being tested to see if you will fit in. I don't mean that in a nasty way, but have you really thought about the long term? If DP's family are all that proper, they would expect marriage, which I rather think he might also, given the surname and first name request.

I don't think you are overthinking. There are just SO many names that work in both cultures. My friends in intercultural marriages have used
Neel
Rayan
Maya
Tanya
Ria
Dia.
Laila

I absolutely would not be happy with Quinn.

It’s a broad term but most large U.K. cities are multicultural - ie a wide diversity of cultures in one place.

Seth

My apologies @OneTonNoodles love Nina, not enough of those around!

You have completely misunderstood what the quote said and what I replied.

Aryan . It sounds racist as f

White supremacy by brown people is definitely racist as fuck. How very dare they?

Thanks @BakeOffRewatch:)

I think he's unreasonable not to compromise at all.

DH and I had totally different name lists that could not be more different.

We both agreed to go through name books again but this time look at names we liked but thought each other could also.

We got there, only when baby arrived we decided the name didn't fit and spontaneously agreed something on nether of our lists 😂.

As a suggestion for a girl I very much like Anabia and this might be a compromise insofar as in full it's a traditional Urdu name but Ana in its short version is European.

Plenty of DC carry that name in England
Also OP’s DC is already named that so there really is no debate to be had.

🤦‍♀️

And I get it is a common name in india. But when you live in the uk you should probably name your other kid something that wouldn't cause offence

How can a child's name be offensive when you know the reasons behind it?

Did you find offence at all the little girls that were/are named Isis?

This was a name before Hitler spouted his evil nonsense. Same as the swastika was a symbol of peace and well-being before he took it over.

@RichardOsmansXraySpecs that may be so, but you will find plenty in the UK who would, in the context of their own histories and families, the use of Ayran and or a swastika offensive. You seem to be thinking of the world as it might have been, and not a country where millions of families would have had relatives who fought the Nazis. I doubt people would be actively hostile, but these aren't things that are just inert due to the passage of time.

What’s offensive is your ignorance. Goodness. Are you really suggesting that everyone who lives in the UK should drop their own culture for fear of offending other people who live in the UK?

How about another “A” name that would co-ordinate well such as Anna or Anya? Not sure how that fits culturally for you but they go well with Aryan in my opinion. Just a thought…

Me too.

OP is your child going to be raised in a faith? If so then I would use that as a starting point.

Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?

If you are looking at Indian names I suggest you don't consider anything with 'shit' in it or other words that could be taken out of context.

I would then look at names that can be shortened / adapted to an English / European name, or one that could be either, so Adam would work. As would any names beginning with 'Sam'.

I used to know sisters called Karenjit and Sharonjit which they both dropped the 'jit' most of the time.

It is, as others have said, your choice.

I know at least five Aryans, or close derivatives, and that connotation has never entered my head until I read this thread.

My brother converted to Islam and changed his name from a traditional Anglo Saxon name to Abdullah. He was encouraged to do so by his friends at the mosque. Sometimes I think we get too hung up on cultural (or religious) misappropriation.

Neither of you are being unreasonable, you just like different things. Keep going you'll eventually hear one you both like x

Why didn't you think to discuss this before kids were even mentioned? I'm asian and if I was with a white man and my child was having his surname I would absolutely want an asian name. Like you I'd be willing to compromise and go for something that works in both cultures eg. Sara, Zara, Nadia etc. I wouldn't want the child to have a fully English name because it doesn't reflect their mixed heritage. Yanbu and I would point out that giving the baby a very typical old English name won't erase that they have asian heritage too.

I actually love the name Aryan, I like the meaning of it in Hindu and Arabic and have a nephew named it.

Posts like this are so deeply unhelpful. 🙄

I'd go with Anna or Ana. Traditional English name and one you like too. Problem solved.

Names didn't seem as important as parenting styles, discipline, school choices, etc. (we did discuss these and we're on the same page).

I’m white-British, hubby is Indian. His family were very anti-mixed-relationship when we were first together but bow they’re fine. We had our first child in 2020 and we knew names were going to be tricky as we wanted something that reflected us but that both sets of parents could pronounce/not dislike majorly. We went with Emilia as it was Italian as that was where we loved to travel to- but it also meant it could be shortened to other things (Mila/ Emmy/ Milli etc) We mainly just call her Emmy or Emilia but his family call her Milli and she seems pretty fine with it.
her middle name is a family name from my side but we’ve agreed if we ever have a boy, we would use a family name from his side. And we went for a double barrelled name- bit of a mouthful but it was important for us to go with both.
I hope you manage to find a compromise soon

But names are important, they do reflect cultural identity.