To think you tell someone pre going on a date

[floralarrangement]

that you have a 2 year old and a 4 year old?!

Just got back from a brunch date and this was casually brought up. I feel like this is a HUGE deal, especially due to the ages. I don't have children and don't want to date someone who does. I'm 28 so maybe I'll change my mind on this later in life.

I feel like he didn't tell me (and probably other women) in advance as a way of getting dates from people who otherwise would've said no. Is this too harsh? For those of you who do OLD, do you tell people in advance/put it on your profile?

We work together (huge organisation - didn't know of him before & none of my friends do) which meant I felt pressured have a good date with him because I hate awkwardness. I already have one ex-boyfriend at work which I find stressful, I'd rather not make it a pattern with multiple people I have to avoid for one reason or another

It’s one post after an another ^. 😬 I’m guessing some single mothers have been really threatened by this thread. Naming no names…

I think it is, though. 💁🏼‍♀️

You’re welcome to think what you like. Doesn’t make it true. 💁🏼‍♀️

If I utilise your methodology, me thinking something is enough to render it true. 💁🏼‍♀️

Anyway, I’m bored now. @floralarrangement hasn’t done anything wrong. She’s 28 and he hid his kids deliberately and was totally wrong to do so.

And I still believe the onus is on the owner of said fun sponges to declare them at the earliest opportunity.

Not sure why you think that’s my methodology, but in any case it doesn’t really matter.

“Owner of fun sponges”. That “need to be declared”. Charming. It’s no wonder that single parents often feel so shit/ insecure about dating.. 😞

It's taken 24 pages but I'm glad you got there in the end.

No idea what this means ,

but also I really don’t appreciate you comments “mingers” who wear makeup and who has more stock that who in the dating market, so I have no desire to find out.

*your comments about

“Owner of fun sponges”. That “need to be declared”. Charming. It’s no wonder that single parents often feel so shit/ insecure about dating.. 😞

Oh for heaven’s sake. 🙄 stop making this all about you and stop putting things in inverted commas and taking it out of context. In this case, taking a light comment and making it sound like it was directed at you.

You’ve just done it to another poster too.

@Tandora it means that as OP, I and many others suspected pages ago, that your comments (and those from other single parents defending OP's date) were driven by insecurity about your own situation.

I didn't say women who wear make-up are mingers. I said I don't feel the need to wear it because I'm not a minger and the men I date don't seem to like it anyway, in response to a very nasty, unnecessary dig from another poster about not wearing make-up on dates.

The twisted, victim mentality is hilarious.

"I don't feel the need to wear make-up because I'm not ugly" > "You said women who wear make-up are ugly"

Whaaaat?

Huh?!!! For the third? Time - It has nothing to do with me.

To repeat I am not a single mum doing online dating/ someone who has ever done online dating as a single mum.
ling term partner + kids now.

this is not about me.

But I’m not in that situation though: so you are wrong again.

But a few pages ago you jumped all over OP for saying how she'd feel in a situation she isn't in. Is it only OK when you do it, then?

Nope.
but you are welcome to think I have and to believe I’m a single mum if that makes you feel good 👍🏻

Not the same thing at all for reasons I have already explained. Look I’m not interested in talking to you, I think your comments about women’s stock in the dating market are disgusting and I don’t think we have any common ground/
anything to be gained from a dialogue.

I was one of several posters who talked about that. Not sure what's so 'disgusting' about being frank about what attributes people in certain social groups tend to look for, but you appear to be living on another planet, so enjoy it.

😆

There are some odd assumptions about single mothers on this thread. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest that some men aren’t interested in dating me because I have a child. I’m in no hurry to meet anyone as my biological clock is no longer a factor.

If I don’t mention my child to an online stranger (who might not even be who he says he is), it doesn’t mean I’m trying to trick him into dating me by using the “bait and switch” technique. It means I care about safeguarding. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, but surely a decent man would understand why I’m cautious?

@billy1966 Ive just had a read of the step parenting board and.........CHRIST ALMIGHTY.

Fun sponges 🤣

I agree and I'm a single parent, I wouldn't go on a date without mentioning I have children

How ridiculous to grin like she has made some kind of a point. 🙄

What OP said (that I objected to) was : ‘if I were in that situation I would feel, want, do xyz’.

This is like people who say ‘Im pro choice, but I could never personally get an abortion because I wouldn’t be able to do that’ (being so virtuous and all)- and yet they have never been in the situation of experiencing an unwanted pregnancy. Lots of people say things like that until they are in the situation themselves.

I never made any statement about what I would do/ feel/ want as a single parent dating, nor have I ever told any other single parent how they should feel/ what they should do in such a situation. I simply expressed sympathy for the fact that many single parents do feel rubbish/ insecure dating (an observation), and it’s no wonder they do with the awful attitudes on this thread! - fun sponges that need to be disclosed and all that 😘 (oh I forgot you were being “light”)

Moooooooorning. Again.

That poster had made a good point by the way. But anyway, I think it’s probably best if we all leave this thread now. I’m not sure you’re making the points you think you are @Tandora and I think you’re maybe a spot too invested. In my opinion.