Sitting in a lay by contemplating…

[JustHurt]

So I’ve just got in my car and driven off. My husband stays in bed daily until after our kids 4 and 2 are up fed, teeth brushed and dressed he then swans in like a hero to sometimes take eldest to nursery (he won’t watch the 2 together) at bed time he watches tv during the tea, bath, teeth brush and pjs routine only to reappear like magic when the kids very sweetly shout “daddy story time” he stands in the door way listens to story then is off duty until the morning. He won’t go in to either of them during the night.
he is fantastic with them during family days out and but once we get home he does the bare minimum.
last night I was so stressed and upset and my 2 year old was over tired and bit me twice big bites leaving teeth marks. A lot of my stress comes from the fact that husband can hear all the bedtime routine drama but stays out of the way more than the stress from the kids themselves. Last night at the end of my tether as husband waltz’s in I clench my fists up angrily and said “omg I just could” as I storm out of the room. This was directed towards my 2 year old as he bit me again. I choose to parent with an ignore the bad praise the good kind of thought on the whole or I say “that hurt mummy that’s not kind we don’t bite” sort of things. I would NEVER hurt my children and I think that reaction was to try and get my husband to see how damn stressed I was from a horrendous afternoon which he spent in bed then mowing the lawn.
this morning I told him I feel so stressed please go easy on me. (No point asking him to help me I’ve learnt that over the years) his reply “hmmm after you nearly punched your kid last night”
I said get out of bed and look after these kids I’m going out for a breather. The response was “not in my car your not”
I repeated clearly “ I AM leaving now get up and look after our children!” I kissed both kids and said Mummy is just popping out daddy will get breakfast today, which they are very excited about. As I was about to drive off I rang him but no answer I left a message saying I have gone get up ASAP because the eldest can open the door. I am now in a lay-by 1 mile from home wondering what the hell I have done and am doing.
I don’t really have a question I just need an outlet.

Of course it was easy for him! He did a 1/3rd days work, if that, following a good night's sleep and a lie in! Interesting though that he seemed annoyed at you interrupting the nap. Why would he mind when it's all so easy, right? You've been carrying the can day in, day out.

Agree.

Why do women put up with these shitty half-lives?

@KosherDill fear of the unknown, scared of being able to do it alone, scared to "ruin" their children's lives by being part of a "broken" family.

Then the realisation hits. The fear of staying is worse, they are already doing it alone and their children's lives are already broken. Took me 20 years to realise this.

Good to hear that you are taking one morning off from now on.

You need this and you deserve it too.

You are also making sure that he knows more about his children and their needs. This is not just about fairness - it is also for their sake- just in case you were unwell or had to be away for a while in the future.

Enjoy your time.
I Hope he enjoys his time with them too. He will learn much.

Spent so much time, sitting in a quiet car, thinking whether or not I am being unreasonable or if I'm the one with the problem. I don't agree with the peep earlier who said don't go home for the night.... That is where you belong. But you must be strong and very clear to your OH, pull up your socks, man up and help me raise OUR children. Things can quickly get worse of you feel like this a little lot, your mental health can suffer. Take some time out by all means but set up the present and the future with clear boundaries. Life will be so much better for all of you. Sometimes men need simple clear instructions. Good luck x